To think 36 isn’t that old for a first baby

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Old school friend has told me that people are saying she’s too old to be pregnant.

It's the norm these days

Plenty of women have second or third babies at that age - I suppose it’s a little older than average for your first, but whether first or fifth baby it doesn’t matter biologically. Of course it’s not too old.

@Clymene

I worry about the people who think they'll be unable to cope with a newborn at 36, given they're less than halfway through their working lives at that age. However will they cope with a full time job at 65?

A full time job you can come home and relax and get your energy back. A newborn baby is 24/7.

But newborns aren't newborns for very long?

They are way easier than toddlers

You looked after a newborn at 29 but you couldn’t think of anything worse than doing it at 36? What on Earth do you think is going to happen to you in the next five years?

Think of all those poor 36-year-olds having jobs when they should be looking forward to retirement and nice cups of tea 🤣🤣🤣

If financial stability was easier to achieve, I reckon loads of people would choose to have babies earlier. The average age to buy a house in the UK is now 33. You could rent or live on a shoestring to buy young but there are pitfalls of that. It all comes down to the housing crisis really.

If you want lots then maybe but definitely not for a first.
I'm surprised at the poster who said that they would be shocked if someone they knew had a first baby at 36.

@crikey456

To me it does sound old.

I'm 31 with a 4 year old and an 18 month old and couldn't think of anything worse than trying to look after a newborn at 36.

It seems to be turning in to the "norm" to have your first child a lot older these days.

It's different horses for different courses though really.

At 26/27 I couldn't have imagined looking after a newborn and couldn't think of anything worse as I would have had to give up my job at the time which involved regular global travel as well as my ski holidays and adventures.

6 years later my career was further established so I no longer had to do trips every 2-3 months and I was more financially secure.

Nonsense. I had my first at 36 over 20 years ago.

My mother had her first at 33 over 60 years ago.

I was 32 with my first. Completely normal where I live with many having another around 35.

Back 'home' 25 was the norm so my child is significantly younger than any other in that friendship group.

DH and I have been together since we were early 20's but didn't marry until 30 as we wanted to prioritise careers, travelling and buying a house first.

Different strokes for different folks

@gibletjane

But newborns aren't newborns for very long?

No but then they turn into toddlers and that's even worse. 😂

[quote crikey456]@MasterBeth It's just my opinion. I'm exhausted at 31, so can't even imagine what it would feel like to have a newborn at 36. The sleepless nights. Horrific.

I'm not sure what you mean when You ask what I will be doing 5 years down the line - I won't have a newborn baby.. [/quote]
Not what will you be doing but how will you be feeling. Believe me, you’re not going to be fit for the knackers yard by 36!

Yes, I'm aware of what newborns are like @rollonmatrix. I had my last one when I was 42. Honestly wasn't any more tiring than the one I had at 37.

I had my first at 37 and wish I'd been younger. I'll be 70 by the time my DC is 33, so if they have kids in their thirties I'm going to be an old grandma. Plus they're an only child, so unless they have their own family they'll be alone when me and my DP pass away. I do worry about that.

If financial stability was easier to achieve, I reckon loads of people would choose to have babies earlier. The average age to buy a house in the UK is now 33. You could rent or live on a shoestring to buy young but there are pitfalls of that. It all comes down to the housing crisis really.

I met my DH at uni & we were lucky to be able to buy a flat in London in our mid 20s. However I had no inclination to marry or have a dc young as I was having a lot of fun. I got married at 27 but still wanted to wait before having dc & had them in my early 30s. But my mum had me at 30 so it was normal to me.

I'm actually far less tired now in my late 30s than I was pre dc as my dc are in school & I work p/t & can work remotely. DH also wfhs most days.

I'm 30 and pregnant with my first child. I don't feel like 36 is old. Ideally I'd like to be no older than 35 when giving birth to my last child, but I in no way think it is too old to be older, just personal choice of what of what I want for me.

@Heyha & @MasterBeth

My parents really struggled with health problems that typically come with old age when I was in my late teens and early twenties. I was living from day to day being in the hospital almost every day visiting either my mom or my dad.
I thought a lot about death and old age when I should have been focusing on my studies and my next steps in life. In stead I mostly spend it worrying about my aging parents.

Sure, you could be perfectly healthy in your sixties, but a lot of people won't be and it should be the time after the kids have already flown the nest.

If you have kids late in life this is what risks you and them face.

Sure, you could be perfectly healthy in your sixties, but a lot of people won't be and it should be the time after the kids have already flown the nest.

If a lot of people aren't healthy in their 60s how come life expectancy is 81 & state pension age is late 60s?

@Kindertonguehappierlife

I don’t think it’s ‘too’ old but I’d be surprised if a 36 year old I knew was having a first baby

You must move in different circles to me then. Most women I know have focused on career and travel and ‘success’ before having perfectly healthy and wonderful children in their mid to late 30s.

I hate threads like this. They degenerate into a thinly veiled slanging match between those who had kids ‘young’ and feel a bit defensive of it, and those who did other things first/couldn’t conceive right away and so had them later.

It is annoying when people talk about “the risk of leaving things late” - as came up earlier in the thread. Yeah I could have had kids at 26 but it turned out my boyfriend was an alcoholic so I thought it best not to continue that relationship… 5 years and a few ‘flings’ later I still don’t have any real desire to ‘settle down’ and haven’t met anyone who’s made me feel like I want to, but I would like children one day. So am I supposed to just find Some Guy and get pregnant so I don’t ‘risk’ leaving it too late?
It’s not a ‘risk’ I’m taking its circumstances not lending themselves to me having a family. Essentially it’s luck that allows people to have kids when they want - you can’t congratulate yourself too much.

Also what is happening in people’s lives that make them that much more “knackered” at 36 than 30?! Ill-health aside.

@CaptSkippy i lost my dad to cancer in his 60s. I would just be glad to still have my dad around, even if it meant caring for him in his old age. Surely any child would.

On the other hand my mum is in her 60s, so is getting older herself, yet my nan - who had my mum at the ripe old age of 20 - is starting to really need her help. The grandkids do help where they can, but as you can imagine have young kids. My nan feels like a burden to my mother (my mother of course tells her opposite), who is herself aging now.

My point is, parents often need their kids whatever age they had them. And most children are just grateful to have their parents still alive.

“Sure, you could be perfectly healthy in your sixties, but a lot of people won't be and it should be the time after the kids have already flown the nest.

If you have kids late in life this is what risks you and them face.”

Again with the ‘risk’! Do you think everyone over 35 should just accept they shouldn’t have any/any more children?

It's over average age for a first baby but too old is a bit harsh.