To think 36 isn’t that old for a first baby

[Youcanbesweet]

Old school friend has told me that people are saying she’s too old to be pregnant.

It's older than average, although that does vary a lot depending where you live.

In certain parts of London and the South East it's possibly even on the young side.

It's really not a big deal at all. Not sure why some PPs have mentioned declining fertility as an issue either, when the woman is already pregnant 🤔

I had my baby at 36. None of my friends had their first before early thirties and most will be mid-late 30s or beyond.

Babies in your 20s would be very unusual in my social circle.

It's the normal age around me (London) I was youngest at baby groups I was 29

Perfectly normal in my area/friends group / work.

To be honest though it's nobody's business but the parents. Really grates me when people get judgey. Most of my friends didn't meet their life partner until mid 30s as they were too busy having a whale of a time travelling/ furthering careers/partying and just essentially living their own life.

I’ve given myself a cut off of 30 for any more babies (if we have any more) but that’s because I had DD1 at 19 and want to be able to enjoy my 40s and 50s without young children. If I’d had my 20s to enjoy being child free, I’d feel differently probably.

Other people need to mind their own business and leave your friend to it.

It’s totally normal , yes your cracking on abit biologically speaking but socially very normal looking at my group of friends - all the mums groups I went to very few women under 30 xxx

@MajorNeville

I had mine at 34 & 38, n egg bee considered being too old, I certainly didn't look out of place in the school yard, loads of mums around my age. I couldn't have cared less anyway.

N egg be? I don't even know what I was trying to say, lol

It’s clearly not “biologically too old” if she’s pregnant!

Too old is when you can’t conceive any more. Anything else is fine.

Yes there are slightly increased risks as you get older, but then there are 20 year olds having issues and babies with needs so on an individual level you won’t know until you try.

No it's fine, sure there's a thread about a vogue editor julia peyton who had a baby at 64 in active right now and I read it and ended up thinking 'the child will be fiiiiine'.

Definitely not too old. I had my DD at 37, which was perfect. Personally, I wouldn't want a baby in my early twenties- but it's a personal (and sometimes circumstantial) choice. I had no complications with my pregnancy or birth, yet the early twenties women in our NCT group had a perm baby.

36 is on the older side but certainly not too old.

There's no perfect age - they are a pain whatever age you have them 🤣

I can see how you might not want to go back to the baby years if you have teens though as that can upset the dynamic of the family

definitely the norm to be early thirties plus in my area for first child (SW London) I was 37 and am now about the middle of the age range of mothers in my class group (a handful of the dads are older)

@Youcanbesweet

Old school friend has told me that people are saying she’s too old to be pregnant.

Really depends on your social circle, no one had babies before 30 in mine.

That said, 36 historically is quite old to have the first one.

I'm likely going to be 38 but have struggled with infertility for 7 years and counting.

Its a class thing.

I work in a MW job and everyone there had children early 20s. They look at me and tell me I will never have children and I am only 30.

I am actually pregnant now, havent told work yet, but it wasnt planned and ideally would have been a couple of years down the line.

I will be the first in my group of friends from school/ uni to have a child. They are all navigating professional careers, and I don't think they will start until 35+. They are going to think I am crazy and have thrown my life away when I tell them.

Its just different priorities.

I had my first the week I turned 33 and my second at 35. Only one of my close friends had a child before me. At baby groups etc I would have said most mums were the same age as me if not a bit older. I definitely didn’t feel like an old mum (we are in Greater London if that makes any difference).

In my social circle of early 40 year olds, there's a huge range of ages in our children - my eldest was the first at 17, the most recent is only 6 weeks old. Most of the children were born somewhere in between, to parents in their mid 30s. Not too old at all!

I had mine at 37 and 38 and I didn't think I was old. Lots of my friends had them at the same age.

It’s old biologically but not socially, probably about average now days.

Omg this is totally normal

I'm pregnant with my first at 39 and so are a bunch of my friends

Well DM was 36 when I was born! No shes not too old at all .Why do people feel the need to pass judgement like this? Unless they are going to help look after Babe why is it anything to do with them?

My mum was 36 when she had me. I'm sure she was thought to be geriatric! However now in her 60s she is far fitter and healthier than some of my childhood friends younger mums. Some of them have already died if chronic health conditions. So it's all relative really.

I'm 34 now and had my first at 31, I was on the young end of my peer group. I wouldn't bat an eyelid at a 36yr old prim.

I had my child at 36, so it doesn’t seem old to me. I suppose that for previous generations, it would have been unusual to have your first child at that age. But it wouldn’t have been unusual to have your last child then, or even later. My grandma had her fifth and final child in her early 40s.

I think it completely depends on perspective and also norms for your local area.

I can think of places I've lived where it's a totally average age and places where they'd think you'd had a bit of an accident!