To think 36 isn’t that old for a first baby

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Old school friend has told me that people are saying she’s too old to be pregnant.

I'm early 30s and I feel exhausted with a 2 & 4 year old. I would be shattered at 36

Don't be so ridiculous. You're tired because of the two young dc, not your age.

I was 25 when I had a two and four year old and I've never experienced bone crushing tiredness like it. Pretty sure a a 21 or 41 year old would feel similar.

@LemonSwan

Its a class thing.

I work in a MW job and everyone there had children early 20s. They look at me and tell me I will never have children and I am only 30.

I am actually pregnant now, havent told work yet, but it wasnt planned and ideally would have been a couple of years down the line.

I will be the first in my group of friends from school/ uni to have a child. They are all navigating professional careers, and I don't think they will start until 35+. They are going to think I am crazy and have thrown my life away when I tell them.

Its just different priorities.

Yes, class and, specifically, career path. Not geography, as some people are saying.

There will be plenty of young mums in the south east and plenty of older mums in the north, but your social circle within those regions will determine if 36 sounds old or fine.

It is old but no necessarily too old.

I think that quite normal. In the past without contraception many women had children from their 20s to their 40s. We have less children now & are having them later.

@thepeopleversuswork

Honestly these sorts of comments enrage me.

I was 39 when I had my first (and only) child. There are obviously more biological risks for a pregnancy as you get older but 36 is pretty standard. And numerous societal and financial benefits to being an older mother.

People need to keep their narrow minded opinions to themselves.

I'm an older mother too and absolutely wasn't shattered looking after young children in my 40s - but if you don't want to read people's narrow minded opinions you'd be well advised to stay away from Mumsnet AIBU!

@AntiHop

Had my first at 36, second at 43.

Same as @AntiHop ! I think these age "rules" are a bit outdated, we are living longer now and have much better access to health care. It's personal choice OP

I would consided myself too old personally to have another baby in mid 30's. That said i would never judge or label somebody else! If they feel happy why shouldn't they!

People chat shit.

She is of childbearing age, it’s hardly unusual (in fact v common amongst people I know), and it it’s tight for HER what the hell does anyone else’s opinion matter?

consider^

Sure you can have a child in your mid-thirties, but I think that many aspiring parents don't consider that children easily need 20 to 25 years before they are fully independent and in their early twenties they will be moving into their first few places with little money to do so and will rely on their parents and friends a lot to get from place to place.

I think that people at least owe it to themselves and they future children to look towards the future and be aware they will be in their sixties when their kids are in their twenties.

If you meet someone in your twenties whom you love and trust (and it is reciprocated) enough to try to have a baby then im sure a lot of people would have babies younger, but that didnt happen for me. I had mine at 37 and 38 and whilst the early years were difficult having two so close in age (and still is from a bickering pov), but im glad that i decided not to bother 'waiting' a few years to try to get the second as who knows if i would have been able to, or may have split from their dad by then.

36 is fine. I had my children young, 28 when the 4th was born. All I'd say is, don't underestimate how tired you will get once you hit 50. I don't know how well I'd have coped with stroppy teenagers at that age!

No it isn't.

People need to keep quiet when it isn't their body or life!

I agree it's a generational thing and 36 is on the older side but not too old and not for others to say / judge!

@Youcanbesweet

Old school friend has told me that people are saying she’s too old to be pregnant.

Well she's pregnant so that's proved them wrong.

Seriously she needs to just ignore them. People are so judgey when it's none of their business.

To me it does sound old.

I'm 31 with a 4 year old and an 18 month old and couldn't think of anything worse than trying to look after a newborn at 36.

It seems to be turning in to the "norm" to have your first child a lot older these days.

@CaptSkippy

Sure you can have a child in your mid-thirties, but I think that many aspiring parents don't consider that children easily need 20 to 25 years before they are fully independent and in their early twenties they will be moving into their first few places with little money to do so and will rely on their parents and friends a lot to get from place to place.

I think that people at least owe it to themselves and they future children to look towards the future and be aware they will be in their sixties when their kids are in their twenties.

Is being in your sixties old too then? I'd better tell my parents...

@BunnytheFriendlyDragon

I agree it's a generational thing and 36 is on the older side but not too old and not for others to say / judge!

I think it must depend on social circles. I'm late 50s and my friends and I all had our babies in our late 30s/early 40s.

@CaptSkippy

Sure you can have a child in your mid-thirties, but I think that many aspiring parents don't consider that children easily need 20 to 25 years before they are fully independent and in their early twenties they will be moving into their first few places with little money to do so and will rely on their parents and friends a lot to get from place to place.

I think that people at least owe it to themselves and they future children to look towards the future and be aware they will be in their sixties when their kids are in their twenties.

And..?

What’s wrong with having children in their 20s when you’re in your 60s? Perfectly normal.

@crikey456

To me it does sound old.

I'm 31 with a 4 year old and an 18 month old and couldn't think of anything worse than trying to look after a newborn at 36.

It seems to be turning in to the "norm" to have your first child a lot older these days.

You looked after a newborn at 29 but you couldn’t think of anything worse than doing it at 36? What on Earth do you think is going to happen to you in the next five years?

I worry about the people who think they'll be unable to cope with a newborn at 36, given they're less than halfway through their working lives at that age. However will they cope with a full time job at 65?

@MasterBeth It's just my opinion. I'm exhausted at 31, so can't even imagine what it would feel like to have a newborn at 36. The sleepless nights. Horrific.

I'm not sure what you mean when You ask what I will be doing 5 years down the line - I won't have a newborn baby..

Nothing wrong with it and it's not too old, however to me it does seem late only because I had mine really early

I don't really get why this is asked every 2 weeks. We all know it's the societal norm to have kids at this age now, do you really need MN validation to know that?

However will they cope with a full time job at 65?

For the youngsters it will be 70!

@crikey456 have you had your iron levels checked?