To think 36 isn’t that old for a first baby

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Old school friend has told me that people are saying she’s too old to be pregnant.

I don't think it's too old. I had my first two children at 21 and 22 and now pregnant with baby number 3, I'll be 32 when this one arrives. When I had DC 1 and 2 many mothers in the baby group I attended were in their 30s, it never occurred to me that were too old. It definitely wasn't weird. Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Just realised I misread and its your friend who's pregnant. Congratulations on her pregnancy

I was 47 having my first (twins).

My mum, born in 1930 was 37 having her first of five kids. (She's still very healthy).

My granny, born in 1889 was 36 having her first of 3 kids.

My sister and SIL were 37 having their first children.

@Nsky

Biologically it is, as others say, life, unexpected happens or illness, you can’t define it in one word. At 46 tricky, I was full menopause at 45

That is considered early for menopause though. Most women only go into full menopause after 50.

I had my first at 30 and I really wasn't old. But I do live in an area where I was older than quite a few of the first time parents and got comments. I got even more with my youngest (I was 40). So does she live in an area where the mum's tend to be quite young? It skews your perception. For me my few friends that have even had children tended to be late 30s so I've not felt like an older mum from that angle. But I'm aware at school for eg one day a woman laughed at my t shirt (made in 75) as I was stood next to a woman wearing something like 90s baby. She said it was funny as it made me look 20 years older. But it is true. I am 23 years older than that particular mum. And laughing mum is a bit odd.

@CelestiaNoctis

For a single baby, no, of course not. For a first baby, depends on how close you're having the others and if your fertility is good. You obviously won't be able to have as many as someone who started in their 20s.

I'm not sure that really makes sense. I know people who had a baby in their 20s and never had any more, I had all my children after 35 and have three... having children a bit later doesn't mean you can't have more than one, in fact I think there is a higher chance of multiple births when you are older.

36 isn't old. Especially if you've spent your twenties studying, working on your career and ensuring financial stability. Oh and there is that small detail of finding a suitable partner. Those saying it's too old I'd say they are probably the sort who are old before their time.

@LaplandLucy

It depends on what circles you move in. My social circle are university educated, good careers, stable relationships. Only started having children in 30’s and onward.

Lots of women in my home town didn’t go to uni all had multiple kids in their early 20’s. It would probably seem old to them.

I go to university in my early 20s and have two kids so I'm weirdly in two different worlds

36 feels old for a first child to me. I see it like I have 4 years worth of parenting experience and someone a decade and a half older is just getting started

No judgement, I know it's the sensible norm. I'm also closer in age to the kids of most mums I talk to

@spittycup it could be argued they have more life experience. There are pros and cons to both having kids younger and older

Among my friends, 29 was the youngest to have a baby, 47 was the oldest (unplanned surprise! Most started their families early to mid-30’s. I think it’s very normal nowadays.

[quote H03bags]@spittycup it could be argued they have more life experience. There are pros and cons to both having kids younger and older [/quote]
Unless they work in childcare, they won't have more experience with kids than a woman with two kids god knows how many younger siblings

Anyway my point is most 30-somethings confused on career do exactly that: they're not spelling their free time reading child behaviour psychology

It's not a dig, just reality. It's strange to mewhen someone who could be my mum has no kids and I have a whole heap- but of course I'm strange to them too!

I think that poster meant more life experience not necessarily more experience with kids

I had my first at 36 and second at 39, it’s fine

@spittycup life experience isn't experience with children, I'm talking about personal development, so the chance to have worked on yourself, done the things you wanted to do, face some challenges all of which shape you and your values prior to having kids. Everyone reaches that stage they feel emotionally ready to be a parent ready at a different point. I and many friends reached it in my 30s, I wasn't ready in my 20s and didn't have the financial security in place.

@spittycup
That was a bit muddled (am dyslexic and no good at typing quickly) but hopefully you get my point.

Damn people love to argue on here. I said what I said, it's not an attack on anyone.

Damn people love to argue on here. I said what I said, it's not an attack on anyone.

I wasn't trying to argue with you just explain....

Not too old at all. I had my son at 38.