to think I’ll spend most of my time with a newborn at home?

[Jemisphere]

I wondered how much people tended to get out and out with their baby before the 12 week point?

Context is I’m due a baby in December. Especially given covid and weather I think I’ll be spending most of January and February at home in my pyjamas trying to figure out how to care for a new born and watching box sets.
I didn’t think we would be making many plans as I’m planning to EBF, I figured they would spend a lot of time feeding at irregular times, and given I’m good at napping thought I would literally try and sleep when baby does.
I do see from social media that some people I know who have had summer babies have seemed to be out at the pub and at picnics pretty much straight away. It has also been voiced by a family member that of course I’ll want people around everything weekend and to drive the baby out as I’ll be so bored. The response when I said about trying to BF was if I’m a chilled out mum I’ll have a chilled out baby and I can always give them a bottle.
I wondered what others experience was? Is it very dependant on the temperament of the baby?

Do what you want op. See how you go. I didnt go out loads but did go out for walks when the weather allowed and I had quite a few visitors to me. This was all pre covid though. I didn't bother with classes initially as the baby would probably just sleep through it or one horrific nappy you could end up missing half the session! Good luck xxxxxxxxx

You'll be going out of your mind if you stay at home for 12 weeks

I used to try and do a baby group of some sort/ walk or meet someone for coffee in the morning then came home lunchtime and tried to get the baby to nap for a couple of hours so I could get stuff done. Always felt better if I had a little trip out. Fine to breast feed at baby groups or other mums of babies houses. In the end fter a few months,I did 2 formula bottles a day, one when I was out and one just before bed. Found with a hungry baby my milk supply was weak by the end of an evening of non stop feeding so a nice filling bottle of formula before bed helped them.sleep through. Bottle when put in day just gave more freedom.

Why do you need to plan this now? Just see how it goes. I do find it a bit odd that you’re telling people this far in advance that you’ll be hibernating for three months. Same with the feeding, this shouldn’t really affect whether you’ll stay at home or be out - babies can be fed anywhere via breast or bottle!

Do whatever you feel will benefit you, OP.

Which really you won't know until your baby is here and you're home with them.

EBF is tough going, so having no plans for a couple of weeks is a good move I'd say. That's what I did and worked well to just take each day as it comes. When the time/weather/mood allowed then we would have a walk or a trip out to our large local shopping centre as it's very new baby friendly lots of feeding/changing areas.

I'm a homebody but also a change of scenery kept me a tiny bit sane.

Just do what feels right and ignore anyone else's input/opinions. You'll know when you feel ready to do what. X

I had a baby at the same time of year and spent much of the winter trudging around the park trying to get DC to nap. You may well stay inside for a few days, but unlikely you'll be spending all your time at home. I found a daily walk was essential for my mental health and for making me feel less tired. As a PP said too, I think it's recommended for newborns. But yeah I wouldn't want visitors every weekend either! That's not the same as leaving the house for a few walks a day! Bf takes up a lot of time but it wasn't the idyllic situation I'd imagined of sitting in front of box sets with a cup of tea. It can be quite draining and emotional, depending on how it goes for you. I also found it stressful sitting around when there was stuff to do in the house, especially when DP went back to work. A fabric sling was a life saver for being able to potter around the house. Good luck!

Out on safari? No, I wasn’t (also a pre-christmas winter baby)

But out and about? And within a couple of weeks of birth? Absolutely. Supermarkets, seeing people, shopping centres, walks, school runs, popping into town - just general getting on with life. Started slowly, obviously. And of course there were days where we stayed in.

But 3 months is a long time, and this perception that women need to closet themselves for months doesn’t do them or their babies any good.

@iamtheoneandonlyyy

I was paragliding 30 minutes after my c section, As everyone else should be

Just do what is comfortable for you. I personally felt like I'd been hit by a car,both physically and emotionally. Definitely wasn't skipping out the door. I went out for walks and did things close to home but no major day trips or baby groups. Lockdown also played a part in this.

Some days I felt like I was going crazy and others I loved just lying on the couch with my newborn. He was a velcro baby and was chilled as long as you held him 24/7, going out was sometimes tough as to get ready on my own meant leaving him crying his eyes out while I showered/got dressed. I had to do those things in stages and small chunks so he and I weren't distressed, so it could take forever to get out the door.

It all depends on how you feel and how your baby is. Don't feel like you are doing motherhood wrong if you aren't baking cakes and running marathons by the end of the first week, or equally if you can't wait to do those things. As long as baby is fed,safe and loved they will be fine. You do what you need to do to feel physically and mentally well.

I think you need to take it as it comes at you, but I certainly wouldn't plan to be staying at home and not getting dressed for weeks and months on end. I can't imagine that it's going to do you any good mentally or physically.

I’m due in 2 weeks and plan to be out and about as much as I can! Especially with the build up for Halloween/Christmas etccc there will be loads of stuff to do

I’m due a baby in December and I am planning to be out and about as much as possible, even if it’s just for a walk, does wonders for mental health and I think it’s very important to look after that when you’ve just had a baby.

Totally depends on what you want and how you are as a person. I bought loads of comfy lounge clothes and lines up loads of boxes because I thought I'd struggle to get out with a newborn based on what I'd read. I was EBFing and, although that takes time to establish, it doesn't mean you can't get out. We were out on hikes from when my DS was 4 days old and we were constantly out and about for lunch and coffee etc. It's so much easier to take them to places you want to go when they're tiny and sleep half the time. Just be flexible and go with whatever you feel like at the time. Good luck!

One of the beautiful things about EBF is you can do it anywhere, any time. Obviously you do what you want but I honestly think you will be in a minority if you don’t get out and about. It’s boring and lonely being at home all the time.

I had a December baby. It was a very cold January and February with lots of snow and ice. I didn’t feel safe to take the pram out until he was 6 weeks as it was so slippy under foot off the main roads (plus it felt like my insides might fall out as I pushed it).

I started baby groups etc at the 8 week mark. Twice a week. Food shop once a week. Most of rest of time in with the baby. A friend who had her second just before me was here, there and everywhere after a couple of days. Everyone is different and neither way is correct.

Just see how you feel when the baby is here.

I dont think it's worth making plans to be honest. It depends on how the birth goes, how feeding goes, how your recovery goes, how they sleep.

I hunkered down a bit, I had quite bad blood loss and anaemia that meant I struggled to walk up the stairs. I was too exhausted and emotional to even work out how the car seat and pram worked for the first month and I found my episiotomy scar and stomach muscles were sore walking and pushing the pram. It also depends on your personality. I'm perfectly happy with my own company and found baby groups where people just talk about their babies in the early days, a bit boring

I'm surprised by a lot of these responses as it's fairly normal for new mums to joke about not having enough time to get a cup of tea or a shower in the early days.

I think things for me changed maybe about 6-8 weeks when I started feeling a bit more like myself, the baby started sleeping a bit better at night and I started putting the baby in a sling and getting on with stuff and we got into a bit of a routine. By 10 weeks we had gone on holiday (planned before the baby) and were out and about walking every day and went out to eat etc

With my second I was more up for going out but had little control over my bladder for about 4 - 6 weeks so stayed at home til it had healed

Either way it's no one else's business.

Of course, you can do that if you want to, but I find it an odd mindset to be deciding already that that is what you will do.

I'm a massive introvert and love nothing more than staying at home, but when I had dd in December 2019, we were going out for walks after 5 days. Just 30 mins to an hour around the village, to the local shop, etc.

Then at 2 weeks old, we ventured to the local shopping centre and even managed a lovely lunch while she slept in her pushchair. And once DH went back to work I made sure we got out for a walk every day, DD would usually fall asleep as soon as her head hit the pushchair and wake up as soon as we got home

It also depends on how your baby is. They might sleep a lot (like DD did) so doing anything was really straightforward or you might fight the best way to settle them is the motion of the pushchair

I just wouldn't decide on anything you will do until the baby is here. You've honestly no idea how you will find it or what type of baby you will get. Chilled out parents don't always equal chilled out babies, and chilled out adults don't always stay chilled out when they become parents.

Personally, I loved getting out with DD. She was an easy baby so easy to take places and it gave structure to the day. We still did plenty of sitting watching box sets and things, the days are long with a young baby, but getting out to cafes or to see friends was very welcome! DD was a February baby so weather wasn't amazing but after the first week we got out most days (we have a dog so that helped!)

Absolutely do what feels right to you. I remember watching so much TV and vegetating on the sofa for the first couple of weeks. But once we'd got used to each other and (especially) once DH had returned to work, the days started to pall and got oh so very, very long. That's when I started to venture out and go to baby groups. Magically I started to feel much better in myself and the days got much shorter and manageable. Having somewhere to be at a certain time really helped break up the day. I had an autumn baby, so I was out and about throughout the entirety of winter.

Do whatever you want. Babies don't 'need' to be out an about, you might need it, you might not. I stayed mainly home for a couple of months as mine was prem and it was winter. It was cosy and just what we needed. Then I found I wanted company so we went out, joined groups, met friends.

I was pretty shell-shocked with my November newborn. Plus had issues with milk supply and had to pump every 3 hours minimum. I still wanted to start getting out by December.

It depends on your baby but it's a good idea to get out each day if you can, even just to stand on the doorstep or potter.

Although there are some comments saying you absolutely must be going out every day for your mental health, don't push yourself to do that if you don't want to.
I find it incredibly stressful getting out the house on my own with dd who is 13 weeks old. I had trouble walking far for quite a while after birth (episiotomy that partly popped open and got infected) so it was only at around 6 weeks that I was back to normal and walking usual distances.
I would say I go out with dd on average once a week, and alone in evening to pick up groceries/top up items etc twice a week. Some weeks have been 2 or 3 times with dd but heat/rain have stopped me other times. I also feel very self conscious about bottle feeding in public even though there is a 75% chance it is breast milk at any given time.

All that waffle to say do what is best for you, and you won't know what that is until you're there!

It's personal choice. I was desperate to get out of the house in my not-pregnant-any-more body and breathe the fresh air. It made me feel so much better to put actual clothes on and leave the house, even if it was just a ten minute walk.

Actually they are somewhat right and many woman just get on about it with a infant in tow, I was one of them. The fact you’re already planning to stay home in yout pyjamas would indicate maybe that’s what you wish or you have anxiety.

You are absolutely not being unreasonable. I believe there were studies done during the pandemic to show that more mothers were successfully breastfeeding their newborns. They attributed that to the uninterrupted bonding that enforced lockdown provided. In many cultures they have babymoons where the mum and baby/ family are left alone and are provided witheveything they need (how nice!). Whenever I had mastitis the root cause was normally that I was trying to do too many things and as a result not able to listen to cues etc of my babies. I think your instinct is spot on. Different people mother in different ways and it seems to me go be an excellent idea to hibernate a bit in those first months. If you go stir crazy there is nothing to stop you going for a walk. Congratulations!