to think I’ll spend most of my time with a newborn at home?

[Jemisphere]

I wondered how much people tended to get out and out with their baby before the 12 week point?

Context is I’m due a baby in December. Especially given covid and weather I think I’ll be spending most of January and February at home in my pyjamas trying to figure out how to care for a new born and watching box sets.
I didn’t think we would be making many plans as I’m planning to EBF, I figured they would spend a lot of time feeding at irregular times, and given I’m good at napping thought I would literally try and sleep when baby does.
I do see from social media that some people I know who have had summer babies have seemed to be out at the pub and at picnics pretty much straight away. It has also been voiced by a family member that of course I’ll want people around everything weekend and to drive the baby out as I’ll be so bored. The response when I said about trying to BF was if I’m a chilled out mum I’ll have a chilled out baby and I can always give them a bottle.
I wondered what others experience was? Is it very dependant on the temperament of the baby?

My DS is a December baby. We tried to get out most days for at least a walk - even when it snowed! I had probably a week without really going anywhere, though, and that's just because it was the Christmas season so we could hole up because everyone else was too! But then walks and definitely two weeks later is the first evidence I have for having driven anywhere with him.

It entirely depends on you and what you want. I have two winter babies (one born in November and one at the end of December) and we got out loads as I got really bored and lovely at home. Just things like meeting friends for coffee, going to peoples houses, walks etc.

We were out and about on day 2, I couldn’t sit in all day. Fresh air, even if it’s cold, clears the head and helps the little one to sleep. Little bit of daily exercise for you as well.

12 weeks in the house would have been hellish for me.

I was out loads with a newborn. Shopping, baby classes, walks, coffees, baby cinema, everyday at least once. I was ebf too.

It’s entirely up to you, but I don’t know where you’re getting that this an expectation.

With DS1 I was going out twice a day every day, even though I was EBF.

Well, there was nowhere to go with mine as we were in lockdown, but even so I took her out for a walk as much as I could - I think by 1 month I was doing a walk every day with her. I was certainly desperate to have friends round/ go round to theirs but it wasn't allowed for ages as we're in Wales! I think the tricky bit for bf was up to about 6 weeks with us as she would randomly decide to cluster feed all afternoon. So you'd only want to make very flexible plans before then I think.

I had my first in the big snow in 2010 and we spent a lot of time inside. It was nice for a while but then got very stifling and I got more worried about taking them out by myself because I had built it up.

When my others came along I didn’t make any big plans but was definitely out for walks, casual coffees, baby classes.

Congratulations and hope things go well!

Oh, and he was EBF.

My first was born mid November. The first time we went out was in January when I signed him up for a couple of baby classes. November and December we were curled up on the sofa breastfeeding and watching box sets, it was lovely. It's entirely up to you what you do. The first six weeks or so my baby just wanted to bf 24/7 so it was just easier to stay in plus it was so cold and wet outside.

YANBU. We cocooned for ages with both our babies, only really getting into going out lots after three months. Particularly with breastfeeding it’s much easier to be at home, and that time of the year will be chilly and there will be all sorts of viruses going round. I’ve heard recommendations to keep babies away from crowded places until their first lot of vaccinations around 2 months. Plus they tend to get much more manageable with fewer nappy changes and blow outs around two or three months.

Cocooning worked for us. However, you need to find what works for you and your family. Try to avoid all the ‘shoulds’- you should do this, you should do that- and find what feels right for you.

I think getting out every day at a time that suits you and baby is different to having timetabled plans you have to follow. That said, if you plan more than one child, all subsequent DCs will quickly get used to being dragged around like hand luggage!

I found the loss of routine was quite disorientating, particularly in the winter months where it is dark for so much of the day. Being up, dressed and out of the house every day really helped with with that.

I’d suggest not committing to anything at this point, but also being careful not to burn any bridges or entrench your position. See how you feel when baby is here.

2 c sections and both ebf. Went out pretty much every day from about 4 days old with both. One of my first ports of call with my first was a local breastfeeding group. The support was invaluable, I'm still friends with some of the ladies from there and feeding there helped give me the confidence to feed elsewhere.

Do what suits you. But like others, I had a EBF baby in December and went out pretty much every day from about day four. Sometimes it was just a walk for an hour, or I’d go to baby yoga or meet some friends in a coffee shop. Breastfed everywhere! I also did a lot of sitting on the sofas home, getting breastfeeding to work etc. But I needed to get out each day to avoid cabin fever.

Apart from the odd walk around the village I didn't go anywhere for 8 weeks because I was establishing breastfeeding and more comfortable and chilled at home. Then I started doing a bit like a baby massage class once a week and seeing family for an hour or two another day. I haven't been bored at all!

It isn't wrong to want to spend the fourth trimester at home bonding with your baby in a lovely little bubble. I am loving it! It's no one else's business but yours what you do when.

Do whatever you want to do and whatever is good for your mental health. I couldn’t think of anything worse than staying home for 12 weeks, personally.

Both of mine are autumn babies (one born last year so between lockdowns) and I’ve been out and about a few days after leaving hospital, going for walks, coffee with friends, baby groups etc. But equally, I did enjoy the days where I’d stay in my pyjamas, cuddle the baby and watch boxsets. A good mix worked for me. You might not know what works for you until the baby arrives.

We had so many visitors with our first, once the first month had passed! So I spaced them out and had a 'day off' in between at least, but we still went for a stroll every day- summer baby so was easier. We met up once a week for a coffee with our NCT group but picked places and times that were baby-friendly.

I didn't feel the need to go to the pub or what have you or even drive to family tbh for a long while but we did start a baby group when was about 10 weeks old (a new baby/mum specific one) and that was really useful. Some days just popping to the supermarket was more than enough.

So do whatever suits you and you can play it by ear. I would just strongly suggest having a doing day followed by a 'do what you like' day so you don't get too overloaded. I'm due our second in October and I've had to do it differently this time as will have a toddler at home getting bored but we won't be doing much on the two days a week she's at nursery purely to keep up this idea of having a 'do what you like' day just me and the baby. Some days we will go out, others we will be relaxing.

It also gets easier to say no to things as you go along, don't be afraid to put people off a bit and make sure your partner knows to do the same. Just because you're, in theory, "sat at home" doesn't mean it's an open house!

Ignore the crap about being chilled out too. If BF works for you it's really easy and convenient especially when you do go out. But if it doesn't turn out hat way then it's for you to decide if and when you want to use a bottle, whatever works for you and baby.

Op you're just wrong. About everything.

Breast feeding. Bottle feeding
Going out quickly, staying in
Having visitors, not having visitors
Cloth, disposable

If there's an opinion to be had, someone will tell you you're wrong.

I had Dec twins and pushed myself to go out because we also had a 4 yo. I wish I could have just intended to hunker down at home and then go out if I feel like it. I think it puts much less pressure in you than booking in a load of expectations.

I think most people are 'out and about' before their baby is twelve weeks. It's your baby and your life so do what you want is my advice.

I was in the park going down the slide the day after I came home from the hospital with my second as I was trying to keep things normal for my toddler. Everyone has different circumstances and there is absolutely no point in trying to compare yours with someone else's or looking down on other people's decisions. We are all just trying to do the best we can.

Mine was born in Feb and we were out walking/going to pubs as a couple pretty much immediately. We definitely spent more time at home, and I wasn't fond of visitors as the house was a mess and I was often a mess too whereas when going out I could go when suited us (I.e. baby just fed, changed and sleepy and me with enough energy) and not pre-arrange with anyone. I was EBF too. I wouldn't plan to be either way. See how you feel and everyone else can sod off.

It was a long time ago for me (25 years!) and my first born was a summer baby but I breastfed him and within his first 12 weeks remember twice going to stay with my parents for the weekend, once to attend a bbq, the other time to go to the beach, visiting my grandmother for the day, going to meet up with my NCT group, forming a friendship with 2 others with babies and meeting them for coffee, and at the end of the 12 weeks,, my.husband and I took the baby on holiday, hiking in the Lake District. People also visited me at home. I dont think you will necessarily want to be cooped up that long and, to be honest, breastfeeding your baby makes them more mobile, not less.

It depends on how you feel!

I had a c-section and then we went into the December lockdown, so we were in enforced isolation. I would have loved to be up and about more. For the first couple of weeks we just nested at home but after that I was raring to get up and go and wasn’t able to. It was quite lonely and isolating and I was so happy when things opened up again and we could get out.

That said - if you’re happy at home there’s nothing wrong with staying there. Don’t let other people pressure you into anything you’re not ready for. It’s absolutely fine for you to do things in your own time.

I had ELCS and I’m sure getting out each day for a walk helped my physical recovery. Baby slept so much better after being out and I needed to get out of the house each day. It also helped in establishing a routine in getting up, dressed and out for a walk.

Well I have had 3, 2 of which are winter babies and all EBF. I walked to the corner shop for cake the afternoon after having DC2. I love cake though !

I would intend to nap when they do as you say, then have suitable pram or sling that if baby sleeps and you do feel like going out you can quickly and easily. If it’s a dry day it’s lovely to be out early with a tiny baby in a gorgeous pramsuit.

Disclaimer - I love pramsuits, it’s like a packaged baby that can’t move 🤣

Also 'chilled out mums have chilled out babies is largely bollocks'. I've had one of each and I know friends that have too. You get what you get, especially at that age

I'm due in early November and I cannot wait to get out and about. I have made a list in my head of things I want to do. I've really bad PGP so I can't even do a bloody food shop.