Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Spending 43k savings on a wedding.

364 replies

Cosmos123 · 19/09/2021 06:59

I know a couple who are spending 43k (all savings) on a wedding yet have no where to live.
He is a 1st year nursing student on a bursary she is looking for work as a nursery nurse.
They are currently looking for 1 bed flat with a budget of £500pcm as that is all they can afford on his bursary. For which they have asked myself to be a guarantor.
Yet they are have an expensive wedding in 6 weeks.

I did discuss to them about spending less and perhaps the money as a deposit on a property further down the line. They seem to agree then bang this is what they decided.

OP posts:
sloutside · 19/09/2021 07:54

Don't really believe this. This story is off.
Where has the money come from? How have they managed to save this much?
I really can't believe that they would be that stupid as to spend all that money on the wedding but not keep sufficient back to be able to rent a decent property, pay deposits etc. or even keep the majority of the savings for a property purchase in the future.
Do they have even more than 43K saved?

Somebody's telling porkie pies here.

GCAcademic · 19/09/2021 07:55

People who are asking how they saved that money, most likely it was an inheritance. My husband inherited a sum of money in this ballpark when we were PhD students. We used it as a deposit for a house and there isn’t a day goes by when I’m not grateful that we were able to do that. I’d feel utterly sick to fritter that money away on one day and then not be able to afford housing as a result. Madness.

ChaToilLeam · 19/09/2021 07:59

I would not be happy to act as a guarantor for any so irresponsible with money.

KeyboardWorriers · 19/09/2021 08:01

Definitely do not agree to be their guarantor

User4378645 · 19/09/2021 08:02

Obviously don't be a guarantor for them, then it doesn't really matter how they spend their money

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 19/09/2021 08:02

Whats the back story? One of them is your child ? You're worried they will come to you in the future when the money runs out?
If not I'd wish them a lovely wedding but you are unable to guarantor their flat

MrsColon · 19/09/2021 08:03

Don't be a guarantor!

Explosivefarts · 19/09/2021 08:03

Wedding will be all payed for now. No one they have booked for the wedding will accept being cancelled this close without high penalty’s. Just say no they can spend their money on whatever they want and you can say no to being guarantor.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 19/09/2021 08:03

@anon12345678901

It's ridiculous, do not sign to be their guarantor. They are blowing a huge amount of money on a day and then asking for you to sign in case they can't make payments on the rent. Their priorities are skewed.
This ^

Id be very blunt and not sugar cost anything if asked to help as guarantor if that much money was being blown on a party/whole big day. It could have been a house deposit.
The two couples I know who blew huge similar amounts on a wedding are already divorced.

Auntienumber8 · 19/09/2021 08:06

If a couple are in their late twenties/ early thirties and have lived rent free or paid a nominal amount to parents and have saved then it is certainly possible.

What’s really relevant in your post is the request to be guarantor, do not do it. I’m fascinated as to how you know them as it’s such a big ask. I would not act as a guarantor for anyone regardless of what they were like with money.

Fifteentoes · 19/09/2021 08:06

It’s always possible they have another income source they don’t want you to know about. And don’t want their future landlord to know about.

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 19/09/2021 08:07

This has got to be a joke!how did they get that much in savings in the first place? Living with parents perhaps?

Well, it's their money and their choice but bloody hell. Nearly 50 grand on a party when you don't have a roof over your head is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read on here.

As is you even entertaining the idea of being guarantor for people who have such stupid priorities that they spend all the money they have in the world on a party then beg help from others to secure a place to live.

You'd be an idiot to do this. They'd probably spend their rent on nights out. 🙄

Disfordarkchocolate · 19/09/2021 08:07

They can spend what they like an their wedding but I'd never be their guarantor.

KillerAntAmbush · 19/09/2021 08:09

Spending that sort of money on a wedding when you’re in that type of financial position likely means they are stupid with priorities when it comes to money. Don’t be a guarantor.

TheKeatingFive · 19/09/2021 08:10

Those figures don’t sound very plausible.

Regardless, don’t be their guarantor

ScrumptiousBears · 19/09/2021 08:12

They are showing you what they are like with money. Do not be a guarantor for them.

RubyGoat · 19/09/2021 08:16

None of your business. That includes being the guarantor though. And I'd tell them so. That's enough for a house deposit FFS, in some parts of the country they could buy a house even if they could only afford £500 pcm.

Maskless · 19/09/2021 08:19

OMFG I have read 100's of threads on MN and this is by far the STUPIDEST thing I have ever heard people doing.

Knock their heads together!

MrsLargeEmbodied · 19/09/2021 08:21

why on earth are you their guarantor?

darklindor · 19/09/2021 08:21

You must know this couple very well OP for them to ask you to be a guarantor.

Is there something about them that makes this more understandable?

MrsLargeEmbodied · 19/09/2021 08:21

do they not know where they want to live? is that why they are renting?

TheRebelle · 19/09/2021 08:25

Barmy, depending where they live that could almost be 1/3 of the purchase price of a house!

My wedding cost £5k (5 years ago) and was a lovely day with a 3 course meal, big white dress and professional photos, there’s no need to spend £40k on a wedding unless you’re very wealthy already.

Darbs76 · 19/09/2021 08:26

Agree it’s their money but don’t spend all your savings on a wedding and then ask someone to be your guarantor - no way

Branleuse · 19/09/2021 08:27

There is not many people i would be a guarantor for. Its a massive ask.

Katyrosebug · 19/09/2021 08:29

43k on a wedding! Wow, I wish I had that much, ours is costing about 5k and that's calling loads of favours with the photographer, DJ food etc..
I wouldn't be a guarante for them, there spending is reckless