what’s it like to be married to an upper class (posh) man and how do you get with one?

[PlainPiano]

What’s it like being married to an old money, posh upper class man and how did you get with one?

By posh upper class man I mean:
Multiple generations of his family went to Eton, Harrow, Westminster etc.
Went to Oxford to read PPE, or Cambridge
Has family money going back generations
Works a big City job in finance or in politics etc.

What type of woman do they want, thin, blonde..?

@LukeEvansWife

God this is depressing. Gold digging is alive and well

Knowing that lot (toffs) quite well I would say that they are the expert and constant gold diggers.

Knock up a cracking old school shepherd’s pie

Shoot from the hip any wildlife that enters the estate

Have a concave face that looks like a range rover backed into an old saab

There’s probably more but those three for starters will get you a chance of riling up the old shooting stick.

@PurpleParrotfish

Not nosy at all!

It was mainly social skills...how to sit, how to eat, how to host, dinner conversation and small talk, how to introduce people to one another, how to address people, how to dress, and so forth. The sort of thing that someone will learn naturally as they enter the working world.

The one lesson that has stuck with me and I am still paranoid about is not making any scraping noises on my plate when eating...to this day I am mortified if I accidentally scrape my plate, and I immediately notice it when others do it!

High on the criteria is someone who can turn a blind eye

This is nuts. You can’t categorise people like this, if you’ve got any sense.

Why is PPE the only subject that makes you posh, out of interest?

@PlainPiano

Do you think the upper classes are open to the idea of interracial marriage? Like it is accepted? My mhm “friend” is not particularly blonde

It is possible, but expect to meet some difficult people.

My husband was really worried about introducing me to his family. I’m not white or blonde (I am tanned skin with dark hair) and he was really worried about how his dad would take it. In the end, his dad loved me, and it’s his mum and mum’s side of the family who I struggle with. She is the one who makes —deliberately rude and / or racist— ignorant comments. Her background is more middle class so it’s surprising that she has been the least welcoming.

Oops...that was my attempt to use a line through a word and I failed spectacularly!

Bag yourself a membership to Aspinalls. There you will find some of the richest men around, but those who like to spend their money.

Well-bread men are notoriously cheap. I could talk for hours about some of the rich men I've known and their cheap ways. You need to either find an outlier or some nouveau riche type.

Good luck! I would love for you to report back if you are successful.

• They marry their relatives and/or women who remind them of their childhood nannies
• they'll shag anything though as are v needy
• they've got tonnes of money but they don't spend it on things that normal people would like nice clothes, nice things for the house or central heating
• they're a bit weird about dogs and horses
• their furniture is shit and uncomfortable

Her background is more middle class so it’s surprising that she has been the least welcoming.

I am not surprised to hear this. Upper Class people have nothing to prove. Whereas Middle Class people lack the perceived finesse and eccentricities of Upper Class people. And they also lack the interesting attributes common in Working Class people. So they are often quite bland and ignorant individuals, desperate to transcend the class system. Which of course they never will. Not in the UK, anyway.

@CraftMaker

Her background is more middle class so it’s surprising that she has been the least welcoming.

I am not surprised to hear this. Upper Class people have nothing to prove. Whereas Middle Class people lack the perceived finesse and eccentricities of Upper Class people. And they also lack the interesting attributes common in Working Class people. So they are often quite bland and ignorant individuals, desperate to transcend the class system. Which of course they never will. Not in the UK, anyway.

This is such clichéd Mumsnet stuff. Lionising the aristocracy, patronising towards the 'interesting attributes' of the the working classes, and sneering of those ambitious middle class types.

Free yourself from this classist bullshit.

@gibletjane

That’s why they’re monied & have retained their riches; because unlike “new money,” who spend spend spend on trash & flash, old money

I never understand why morally old money is somehow better than new money.

In order for old money to become 'old money' (from the new money it started off as), it must be managed well. Spendthrifts blow it all before they get the chance to become old money.

Boris is probably on the lookout for a new mistress now that he’s married. Get a job in the Tory party, he’ll find his way to you.

Are you planning to copy the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? Wander the streets of Chelsea handing out pheasant flavoured lollipops to any passing Hugos and Peregrines

Please do this, OP. Such jolly japes!

Meet them at boarding school/university.
(Worked for Kate Middleton.)
They’ve made their connections before you ask the question.

It is incredibly easy.
All you need to do is be born into an upper class posh family who still have significant wealth yourself & go to the right schools etc...
You'll meet an oceans worth of them.

@RickySpanishhh

Boris is probably on the lookout for a new mistress now that he’s married. Get a job in the Tory party, he’ll find his way to you.

I love your response but I mostly love your username (I went to Cambridge but American dad is my AMSR)

@CraftMaker

Her background is more middle class so it’s surprising that she has been the least welcoming.

I am not surprised to hear this. Upper Class people have nothing to prove. Whereas Middle Class people lack the perceived finesse and eccentricities of Upper Class people. And they also lack the interesting attributes common in Working Class people. So they are often quite bland and ignorant individuals, desperate to transcend the class system. Which of course they never will. Not in the UK, anyway.

Oh give over and give your head a wobble. Seriously! Upper class people have nothing to prove. Oh rilly??? Working Class people have interesting attributes? Middle class people are often quite bland and ignorant individuals?????

The most pretentious and ridiculous post I have seen on Mumsnet in 15 years.

My DH went to Marlborough college boarding school, which cost £30k per year 20 yeaes ago, and mixed with lots of these types. His dad is a banking millionaire, so new money. He played sports with Eton boys in fixtures. They were mainly twats. Lots of drug use, in fact one of his friends died after taking ketamine. DH himself is pretty normal.

@PlainPiano

What type of food do they like?

😂

This thread is fantastic! What kind of food do they like… as if you’re going to sprinkle it down a nice street and hope ‘posh’ Etonians are lured out and follow the caviar all the way to your trap of a cardboard box propped on a stick.

Gosh. Just marry someone you like and read Jilly Cooper or something on the side.

Posh men don’t buy things. They have ancient stuff worn to tatters or handed down in the family.

Look how Millie Mackintosh and prof greens relationship ended! 2 ends of the social ladder.
They both seem really happy now though.

This is such clichéd Mumsnet stuff. Lionising the aristocracy, patronising towards the 'interesting attributes' of the the working classes, and sneering of those ambitious middle class types.

Free yourself from this classist bullshit.

Oh give over and give your head a wobble. Seriously!
Upper class people have nothing to prove. Oh rilly???
Working Class people have interesting attributes?
Middle class people are often quite bland and ignorant individuals?????

The most pretentious and ridiculous post I have seen on Mumsnet in 15 years.

Couldn't agree more with both posts. I tell you this sort of shitposting is rife on MN. This is how you know MN's real demographic, not what it's claimed to be.

I've heard some landed, titled types are too cheap to heat their houses properly. Plus, a lot of the things they do for "fun" look like the exact opposite to me.

You do you, OP, but I don't see the appeal of old-money poshos outside of Jilly Cooper's imagination.

@3womeninaboat

Being upper class and posh yourself.

🤣