what’s it like to be married to an upper class (posh) man and how do you get with one?

[PlainPiano]

What’s it like being married to an old money, posh upper class man and how did you get with one?

By posh upper class man I mean:
Multiple generations of his family went to Eton, Harrow, Westminster etc.
Went to Oxford to read PPE, or Cambridge
Has family money going back generations
Works a big City job in finance or in politics etc.

What type of woman do they want, thin, blonde..?

I think you have to be cousins

I think being married to someone like this would be hell on wheels personally.

But I think if you have to ask what they want you’re probably not it.

@MsHedgehog What do they teach you at finishing school? Genuinely curious.
Is it like that "ladette to lady" programme? — all about how to pluck a pheasant and the correct way to grasp a doorknob?

@Ms Hedgehog—Ignore me… I see you have already answered the question!

@ColorMagicBarbie

It's also odd how so many non posh people seem to know with complete certainty exactly what the life of an earl entails. I'd say too many episodes of Downton Abbey watched.

I was thinking of that other programme, The F**cking Fulfords.

They are only landed gentry though, so does that count as posh?

Another person baffled by this thread. I'm married to a "posh bloke" - though no titles or land in the family. I'm a very normal, very unglamorous state-educated type! I went to Oxford and met DH through work, when I was in my late 20s. It mattered that I was an educated professional, and he certainly wouldn't have wanted to be with someone less intelligent than himself. But he didn't give two hoots about my accent or dress size. I am finding this thread bizarre and most of the replies, with a couple of exceptions, are clearly written by people who are clueless. Posh people absolutely don't only marry "their own kind". My best friend from uni went to Cheltenham Ladies' College. She's married to a man she's known since she was a teenager - working-class by upbringing, but again an educated professional (and now works in the City).

I think the guy from Normal for Norfolk was single. Your progeny would be guaranteed excellent eyebrows. Although I see to remember that his mother (who must be about 125) still lives with him.

OP people meet people in settings of their choice...

nobody is ever going to admit to seeking out .. what you consider a posh man.. or woman.. most will meet in Uni settings or work environments or Social events..

good luck in your endeavours ..

They want their own type.. Many of these circles are very small & they marry within their circle... So I would imagine a girl living in London, good job, has gone to the right school & is a horsey type in the country ar the weekends!

Well they definitely don't do it by bumping sodding zombie threads that clearly weren't entirely serious to start with.

One of the school mums I know bagged a former public schoolboy at a yacht club [I daresay she in part hung round there looking for talent], he must have seemed like a fairly safe bet, but 15 or so years later I'm not sure it's totally worked out from a money point of view - though undoubtedly 'posh' by most standards [e.g. nearly always wears deck shoes], his career isn't super high earning and any [probably modest] family money that there is will only filter down to him when his parents die. They don't live in a grand house, or send their kids to private school, etc. I know that she especially would like to have these things, and cheerfully admits it. But she's not at all bitter as far as I can see - annoyingly, they both seem [to me] happier than most couples I know.

@PlainPiano

So I’m guessing their type would be people like Prince Harry’s ex Cressida or her siblings Isabella and Gabriella, artsy, slim, pretty, blonde, grew up posh and went to boarding school ..,

Just reading this thread I stumbled across as it's fascinating! Op cressida's sister married Sam Branson (Richards son) they have a jet set lifestyle... She could have married old money in Prince William but chose new money & the lifestyle that comes with it! Smart girl! I would absolutely choose new money too, the truely posh I know wouldn't give you the steam of their piss...

That is a very odd question.

I imagine, if he is a nice, kind, decent person it would be no different to being with anyone who wasn't 'posh'. At the end of the day, it's character that counts.

@VladmirsPoutine

Try and dress shabbily, have bad teeth and shower once a month.

If someone referred to WC people like this there would be a Mumsnet outcry. Even though the description would be more accurate.

If someone referred to WC people like this there would be a Mumsnet outcry. Even though the description would be more accurate.

Well, with the second sentence you've just said exactly that about WC people, so let's see.

@funinthesun19

If a man ever showed an interest in me (a working class person) I’d think he’s taking the piss and trying to humiliate me.

No thanks mate.

This has made me giggle

@chocolateorangeinhaler

Should have said currently know a lot of posh people and move in their social circles but didn't like to gloat

😂😂😂 gloat? Why on earth would anyone care/be jealous that you ‘know posh people’ and socialise with them! Hilarious.

@PlainPiano

Do you think the upper classes are open to the idea of interracial marriage? Like it is accepted? My mhm “friend” is not particularly blonde

Racism is still pretty pervasive in these circles. The last time I went to an old Etonian wedding there were two people there who weren't white, out of a crowd of 200. But honestly the biggest barrier here is being a prestige hunter. No-one is going to want to marry someone who was deliberately shopping for their credentials.

Being thin and blonde aren't the major qualifications, it's more having grown up together, been to the same kinds of schools and universities, having family friends. 7% of children go to fee paying schools, so everyone sort of knows each other or at least has a friend in common.

Without wanting to be mean, this is a slightly weird thing to be actively looking for.

What’s it like?

Like being married to any man really. He's rather untidy and leaves half drunk bottles of ale in the fridge.

Given that it’s fairly widely accepted that white people can’t be victims of racial prejudice because of the power factor, it follows that the UC can’t be victims of class prejudice for the same reason.

It’s therefore perfectly acceptable to call many of these people out for the privileged, superior twats that they are. And no, it doesn’t work the other way around.

Get set up on a bind date by a mutual friend; go on date; fall in love; get married, have kids yada yada. Worked for Harry and Meghan.