what’s it like to be married to an upper class (posh) man and how do you get with one?

[PlainPiano]

What’s it like being married to an old money, posh upper class man and how did you get with one?

By posh upper class man I mean:
Multiple generations of his family went to Eton, Harrow, Westminster etc.
Went to Oxford to read PPE, or Cambridge
Has family money going back generations
Works a big City job in finance or in politics etc.

What type of woman do they want, thin, blonde..?

@gibletjane

he is hot

Amen to that!

@talismaniac

We have a Whattapp in this road. Once, when DH was away, I thought I was being burgled from the basement at 10am. Within 5 minutes, six neighbours were round. One brought a klaxon confused. One bought her dog and another brought brandy and a torch. They were all pissed in the kitchen within 20 mins. Everyone knows everyone and there’s coffee mornings in someone’s house once a week.

I think this might be the best anecdote I have ever heard on Mumsnet, I love it! And I'm glad that you weren't actually burgled.

Its very easy.

You need to go for a walk in the countryside, because you're upset over a boyfriend dumping you or something.

Look a little chubby (not really chubby, like a 10) wearing impractical shoes and tight white jeans that are a fetchingly a bit muddy on the arse because you fell in a puddle.

Your hair is a wild blonde cloud and your complexion peaches and cream despite your tear stained cheeks.

You are very ditzy but utterly adorable. Rakes are always attempting to ravish you.

If you follow this advice to a tee, you will inevitably fall into the path of an initially angry but devilishly handsome (and utterly posh) horse rider. He will be furious with you for nearly unseating him- but don't worry it won't be for long. Soon you will be whisked away and drinking poulliy-fume with your aristocratic lover - and you'll know all the rules of Polo.

Absolutely no credit at all to Jilly Cooper in this advice

They don’t try to make an impression, especially in their homes. Almost all the furniture is old and/or mismatched as it has often been passed through the generations.

I would say, on the whole, those in the middle classes with aspirations of climbing the social ladder (and “new money”) are far more arrogant and materialistic than any true upper class person that I have met.

Statements like this are all over MN and they always make me chuckle.

You'll find them in the White Cross in Richmond. Braying dickwads. Tally ho!

I think was shagging one of these types in my 20’s. He was gorgeous BUT sadly a wanker. Used to judge people by the university they attended and the posh voice was hugely off putting during sex.

He was also tight with money!!

you would be better going for a self-made man. More intelligent, more style and more able to adapt himself to different situations and blend in. Also more money and generally better-looking on average imo. Think entrepreneurs or those who have made millions in some capacity without Eton etc. Then there’s no need to go to the countryside or traipse in muddy fields or do the cycle of boring sloaney events (or anything to do with horses). You are more likely to find yourself on a yacht in places you actually want to go and a more varied life.

This sounds altogether more appealing.

I thought it was pretty obvious that nobody is offering serious and genuine advice to the OP’s evidently ridiculous question, and her own assumption that these people form a homogeneous group.

I dunno... are you suggesting the OP's question was tongue-in-cheek, or that she's for real but everyone should be giving tongue-in-cheek answers because the question was so stupid?

I dated one not so long ago 😂 he even had a title like earl of....

I was set up by a friend of a friend to go on a date with him. I'm surprised we hit it off initially as we are from completely seperate ends of the social spectrum. I really don't think he was expecting a working class Welsh woman 🤣 but we got on well, he was nice to be honest. In the end I called it off because of the distance between us, and I knew deep down I'd never unsettle DS for anyone. So that was that.

But friend of friend is also a titled person and I met her via a charity event I was running that had some titled people attend. I'd invited non titled friend and she brought along titled friend of hers.

They have thousands of friends. Friends from family, friends from school, friends from god parents, cousins, friends of their cousins.
They don’t need to meet new peoplec

An American woman I know bagged one and still works full time herself in the city earning squillions, as does her horsey husband. At the weekend she loves playing squire's wife at their massive country pile. They're nice enough. Bit dull. But so am I.

@bakingdemon That was my assumption too.

I haven't RTFT, so apologies if this common method used for catching one has already been described, but the following is often successful and reasonably simple.

Dig a pit.
Dangle a copy of Horse and Hound magazine over it.
Wait somewhere out of sight until you hear a cry of 'Golly gosh, what beastliness is this?'
Claim your prize.
Job's a good'un.

This is a wind up no?

Closed circles. You’ll never get in.Friendly and charming and it may seem like you’re “in” but unless it’s the right school/uni/family/friend/fathers profession/hobbies it’s a surface relationship. It’s very closed. That’s why it’s so unattainable. It’s exclusive.

Or you just might if you’re exceptionally lush and in just the right time and place. But that’s unlikely.

Best make you’re own money.

Most children of old money types I've seen tend to be Paris Hilton types who take lots of coke and go to parties and don't really work.

The types who become business moguls are usually the sons of business moguls (who aren't usually earls etc).

It's also odd how so many non posh people seem to know with complete certainty exactly what the life of an earl entails. I'd say too many episodes of Downton Abbey watched.

The OP is a journalist. For sure. Even with his/her protestations it's for a friend. Bullshit. I know my own type 🤣

They are looking for either women in those same circles, or highly educated, very successful people. If you have to ask, you are not going to be the type they marry, if you are very attractive you might be the kind they sleep with, until they find the one they are going to marry.

Old money types don't have serious dalliances outside of their circles.

@ThinWomansBrain

I think they're available in exchange for tesco clubcard points

They also tend to either be fat or a bit wimpy IME. I'd much rather be with a rich man of working class origin.

I went to the Villa game tonight with the owner of one of the groundworks companies we work with this evening. Can't have been more than 30 and had his own directors box, £150k Merc, a fair few properties, etc. More than enough money to live a decent quality of life, but he also had the banter and evidently a good solid gym body.

Looked like he could actually do a day's hard physical graft which I find so much more attractive than most of these soft businessmen who chug lots of expensive cheese and wine.

If one has to ask, one will never know.

On the whole, in order to to bag your old money, posh upper class man you need to be an old money, posh upper class woman. Or an American.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles

You could try à 10/0 fishing hook, or dig a big hole and cover it with branches and then a layer of leaves. (The latter worked for Tom and Jerry)

😆😆😆