what’s it like to be married to an upper class (posh) man and how do you get with one?

[PlainPiano]

What’s it like being married to an old money, posh upper class man and how did you get with one?

By posh upper class man I mean:
Multiple generations of his family went to Eton, Harrow, Westminster etc.
Went to Oxford to read PPE, or Cambridge
Has family money going back generations
Works a big City job in finance or in politics etc.

What type of woman do they want, thin, blonde..?

Kate went to a girls boarding school then to St. Andrews but I think she was already in his social circle

@Katshouldnotswim

Horsey type

That's not legal.

@ineedsun

My terribly posh friend meets similar minded people on muddy matches. All about the field sports and they all go to Henley with their daft trousers and jackets.

I imagine being in a relationship with him, you would be treated with very good manners but would have to be ladylike - can’t say fuck or bugger

The really posh horsey people I know swear every sentence. It’s just enunciated differently so rather than fuuuuuck it’s fukh

"Charming but emotionally unavailable". This in spades. Being sent to board on your 7th birthday would do that to a chap though. Certainly did to the one I know

Is this a joke? It’s not like going fishing, you can’t just put bait on a line and sit there waiting.

Most men of that background marry women of the same background - eg minor aristocrats, very wealthy, own plenty of land and capital, went to the right schools, from the right families - it’s not like placing an ad on Tinder

And if you do happen to meet a single man from such a background he’ll probably want what we all want - to meet someone nice and genuine, who truly loves them for them, not just who sees them as a meal ticket.

You come across as a rather naive gold digger.

I hope you’ve got brains- a friend of ours is an old Etonian, he’s incredibly clever and married a fellow Oxbridge grad. He wouldn’t have been interested in someone who wasn’t academically as able as him...

@PlainPiano

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with coming to MN with this because there are SO many people here and you never know who knows who or what

There’s nothing wrong with doing it, but it rather signals you’re on a hiding to nowhere.

Do you think people on here are going to ‘hook you up’, or something?

Maybe you can give us an idea of your - sorry, your friend’s - credentials, and they can have a flick through their little black books for someone suitable.

Do you not fancy earning your own money then?

Oh OP upper middle class girls have the most fun. Money, freedom, none of the social restrictions of the landed gentry, and being able to enter relationships as an equal instead of being treated like a breeding mare. If your friend you is after a husband, is that life what you would want for your children?

This is a wonderful thread

Proper posh are often thick as two short planks so unlikely to tick your list. Is this a problem?

You can do it if you put your mind to it and are willing to sacrifice your sanity in doing so. Kate basically had one goal and achieved it. But she started young and was very focused on it. Depending on your age you might manage. But Kate was very dogged minded - I mean it was the future king she set her sights on. She couldn't be caught slipping! But imaging those cold Norfolk nights can't be fun.

Don't do it OP, setting yourself up for a miserable time!

@LadyOfLittleLeisure

Don't do it OP, setting yourself up for a miserable time!

I don’t think there’s any danger of the OP actually being successful.

@PlainPiano

What type of food do they like?

Are you planning to copy the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? Wander the streets of Chelsea handing out pheasant flavoured lollipops to any passing Hugos and Peregrines.

@Ori3

Old money is also clever, as well as frugal. They’d spot intent like this a mile off. That’s why they’re monied & have retained their riches; because unlike “new money,” who spend spend spend on trash & flash, old money - well, sometimes you wouldn’t always know at first.

Christ. I love how horrified some people on MN ar by people who've actually done something as vulgar as earn money.

Give me the trashy flashy nouveaus any day over some frugal Cholmondely-Farquharson who counts the lumps of coal as they go on the fire.

Also, upper class English men just aren't very fuckable. The lack of jaw line, the braying, the fluffy hair. No thank you.

Go to uni at St Andrews or Cambridge or Oxford 🤷‍♀️
Play polo?

Why would you want one? Sound dull as fuck.

You must have a career you're willing to give up when you breed. 3 x men I know with your description. Pretty wives all now stay at home mums. DH's family was new money (now lost. That's another story) so went to school with old money. We use them as examples of why we're happy we have less money but as a wife I certainly have a more fulfilling life in my eyes.

They are certainly naturals at manipulating women and using them for what they need, without any empathy. Quite psychopathic in that way

Sweetbabycheese excellent stereotyping! So all working class men when they aren’t getting into fights outside pubs wander around muttering ‘innit’ and ‘fucking mental’.

Find yourself a bitter old Dowager who can take you under their wing and introduce you to high society.

I think you need something in tweed and understand what the fuck you are meant to do with Kale to make it palatable.

Become a nanny for a blue blood family.

You'll be right at home.

There are few things more daft than assuming that all the gazillions of people from one of the social classes have identical tastes in hobbies, food and partners. I knew lots of extremely 'posh' men at university. They weren't all carbon copies of each other, in the same way that working claas people or middle class people aren't all the same as each other. But I'd have thought that was pretty obvious...

@PlainPiano

I can’t imagine them eating things like beans on toast (like I do)

Mine is obsessed with curries lol

Assuming you’re trying to find a DH of your own, try to get invited to Hurlingham or some other private members club.

They weren't all carbon copies of each other, in the same way that working claas people or middle class people aren't all the same as each other. But I'd have thought that was pretty obvious

Lazylinguist, yes I’d have thought it pretty obvious but apparently on mn they are identikit….
I suppose it’s because there are so few minorities that can be insulted with impunity.