what’s it like to be married to an upper class (posh) man and how do you get with one?

[PlainPiano]

What’s it like being married to an old money, posh upper class man and how did you get with one?

By posh upper class man I mean:
Multiple generations of his family went to Eton, Harrow, Westminster etc.
Went to Oxford to read PPE, or Cambridge
Has family money going back generations
Works a big City job in finance or in politics etc.

What type of woman do they want, thin, blonde..?

I studied together with old money and new money and came from lower middle class. I got told straight to my face on more than one occasion that as I "wasn't even promiscuous" they had absolutely no use for me. Not that I had tried anything. I was never interested in immature, uneducated daddy's boys without any common sense.
Oh well: the poor intelligent student with the sweet nature, goid sense of humour andbody like a Greek god

that I married is now a professor. I am not exactly suffering.

@gibletjane, nor do I. Plenty of their wealth will have been made in the slave trade.

These are not just husbands. These are M&S husbands.

Don't be so middle class. They are Harrods husbands, darliinnngggg...

@Andante57

They weren't all carbon copies of each other, in the same way that working claas people or middle class people aren't all the same as each other. But I'd have thought that was pretty obvious

Lazylinguist, yes I’d have thought it pretty obvious but apparently on mn they are identikit….
I suppose it’s because there are so few minorities that can be insulted with impunity.

I thought it was pretty obvious that nobody is offering serious and genuine advice to the OP’s evidently ridiculous question, and her own assumption that these people form a homogeneous group.

Or is only me who thinks the question and all the replies are part of the same joke?

Do you think the upper classes are open to the idea of interracial marriage? Like it is accepted? My mhm “friend” is not particularly blonde

@stopgap but that's classier apparently 🤔

Lockheart.....well said

Why would you want to be with someone like that? Yuck.

@Andante57

They weren't all carbon copies of each other, in the same way that working claas people or middle class people aren't all the same as each other. But I'd have thought that was pretty obvious

Lazylinguist, yes I’d have thought it pretty obvious but apparently on mn they are identikit….
I suppose it’s because there are so few minorities that can be insulted with impunity.

They do have one thing in common...

...money.

I think that's what the OP is after.

@PlainPiano

Do you think the upper classes are open to the idea of interracial marriage? Like it is accepted? My mhm “friend” is not particularly blonde

Rarely I'd say. Aside from Prince Harry and the Longleat guy (can't remember his title).

Read some Jilly Cooper darling.

@PlainPiano

So I’m guessing their type would be people like Prince Harry’s ex Cressida or her siblings Isabella and Gabriella, artsy, slim, pretty, blonde, grew up posh and went to boarding school ..,

That's oddly specific. Taking notes or something?

This reads like you're trying to write a character in your first novel from a background you know absolutely nothing about.

Um, I have zero desire to write a book about any of this

Watch Jeeves and Wooster for tips.

I know a few very, very rich men who are estate owners (and I mean big, well-known estates) that have been in the families for hundreds of years.

And they are absolutely normal.

They don’t try to make an impression, especially in their homes. Almost all the furniture is old and/or mismatched as it has often been passed through the generations.

I would say, on the whole, those in the middle classes with aspirations of climbing the social ladder (and “new money”) are far more arrogant and materialistic than any true upper class person that I have met.

I’ve heard this from so many people @DixonD

They don’t try to make an impression, especially in their homes

But that's because they don't need too, they are secure & safe in their position.

I’m foreign and now know a lot of very posh types through certain London schools, locally in this part of London, and also DH works with a fair number of them in various capacities (though he is an immigrant). They’re all actually very nice and I kind of like how don’t really give a damn. Can’t stand the loud ones though - no self-awareness. The men are ‘meh’ - not generally very good-looking. Many have parents out in the countryside who are, to all intents and purposes, absolute loons. Very scruffy houses and a lot of clutter making for overall bad hygiene. Very polite though and chatty. One lady was complaining to me today what a drag it is having to wrap Xmas presents and can I believe it’s almost that time of year again already. She said, “ don’t you remember when you were young and the gifts used to just arrive on Christmas Eve, pre-wrapped from Harrods.’ . This is the kind of thing, but they mean no harm. Few women work, but are non-stop doing allsorts.

We have a Whattapp in this road. Once, when DH was away, I thought I was being burgled from the basement at 10am. Within 5 minutes, six neighbours were round. One brought a klaxon . One bought her dog and another brought brandy and a torch. They were all pissed in the kitchen within 20 mins. Everyone knows everyone and there’s coffee mornings in someone’s house once a week.

OP, you would be better going for a self-made man. More intelligent, more style and more able to adapt himself to different situations and blend in. Also more money and generally better-looking on average imo. Think entrepreneurs or those who have made millions in some capacity without Eton etc. Then there’s no need to go to the countryside or traipse in muddy fields or do the cycle of boring sloaney events (or anything to do with horses). You are more likely to find yourself on a yacht in places you actually want to go and a more varied life.

You will have to put up with extreme hobbies etc because there’s a LOT of that. But you can just do your own thing anyway. You need to be independent because they travel a lot with work and sports.

Hello magazine for tips on who to nab and where?!

I would say, on the whole, those in the middle classes with aspirations of climbing the social ladder (and “new money”) are far more arrogant and materialistic than any true upper class person that I have met.

Someone always says this and I do wonder if it's true or if people are just so starry eyed about the aristocracy.

As a 2nd gen immigrant I do find the deference to the aristocracy odd.

If you meet Henry Cavill, can you send him my way!?

he is hot