what’s it like to be married to an upper class (posh) man and how do you get with one?

[PlainPiano]

What’s it like being married to an old money, posh upper class man and how did you get with one?

By posh upper class man I mean:
Multiple generations of his family went to Eton, Harrow, Westminster etc.
Went to Oxford to read PPE, or Cambridge
Has family money going back generations
Works a big City job in finance or in politics etc.

What type of woman do they want, thin, blonde..?

The lady who married the Lord fauntleroy of Downton (the real one) was on TV a few years ago trying to stay warm in fur to avoid putting the heating on. I mean can you imagine what their bill is...?

Everyone has their cross to bear. People that don't have money want it; people that have it lie awake at night worrying about losing it. The grass isn't always greener.

I had a couple after me when I was younger. I was not from a posh background but pretty well educated, fun and outgoing. I was not drop dead gorgeous. I never sought them out just came across them at college and through work. Didn't fancy either of them.

However heavy health warning; public school boys (especially those that boarded from a youngish age) can be charming but emotionally unavailable.

And don't for one second pretend you're to be posher than you are- they know their own kind and can sniff you out a mile off if you're not posh.

I can’t imagine them eating things like beans on toast (like I do)

Seeking.com 🤫

My terribly posh friend meets similar minded people on muddy matches. All about the field sports and they all go to Henley with their daft trousers and jackets.

I imagine being in a relationship with him, you would be treated with very good manners but would have to be ladylike - can’t say fuck or bugger

What type of food do they like?

things they've shot themselves?

I don’t know about that @SpikeyFloof

Old money rich people stay that way by not spending and passing assets down through the generations. And even then they are likely to be relatively cash poor, or at least don’t spend because they have inherited all their horses, houses and furniture, and have clothes which were hand made and last twenty or thirty years. They don’t feel the need to flash cash (and find much spending unnecessary).

If you are trying to find a man to spend money on you (which makes me feel queasy and makes me question where the hell your self esteem is) then you’re better off looking for rich rather than posh - someone who has made their own money and continues to do so, and spends visibly and often to shore up the view of others that they have ‘made it’.

Ha! Having dated some men like this I would say it’s pretty miserable. Their parents generally abandon them at boarding school age 8 and I don’t think they ever get over that emotionally. They are certainly naturals at manipulating women and using them for what they need, without any empathy. Quite psychopathic in that way. All these stories about rape culture coming out of the public schools don’t surprise me at all.Main hobby is usually drinking so they’re not even really that interesting!

*and an even better one for postgrad...

@nannannanana

Do you basically mean how to meet a rich man?

Then she is better off marrying a builder with some business acumen.

I've met those types through connections and hobbies, and most are a-holes.

I think you already have to be in their gene pool, OP

Yep, you can’t “out-posh” a person, you’d look daft even trying. I’m probably what you’d call “new money” but I do have what I’d described as proper posh friends who tolerate me
:..and yes they swear like troopers… but they are horsey types like I said

If you're asking on MN, best you can ever hope for is secret sidechick.

I'm a happily married (small s) socialist but I wouldn't mind some posh friends to invite me to balls. I used to love the balls at uni, and most of my friends are married now so there's not many opportunities to put on a lovely dress and dance.

They all eat fresh venison at every meal, and they all live in Henley. You might snare one there. You could create a makeshift trap, & lure one inside with a couple of well-presented jackets. You may have to procure a blonde wig to retain your catch long-term - real Remy human hair though, not that fake plastic shite.

Well I don't think Meghan Markle was all that has been described and she bagged Prince H so theres hope for your, er, friend, op!

@TheVolturi

Well I don't think Meghan Markle was all that has been described and she bagged Prince H so theres hope for your, er, friend, op!

She didn’t have to ask on Mumsnet how to do it though, did she? She came with other assets and acumen.

@Abouttoblow

I hear Rupert Campbell-Black is in the market for a new wife. Only a rumour though, not confirmed.

Oh no! What’s happened to Taggie?!

@MsHedgehog Hope you don’t mind me being nosy, but... finishing school? I assumed they disappeared around the time they stopped presenting debutantes at court. What do they teach? My mental image is of young women walking around with books on their head.

I worked in a bar in central London that often had the same crowd of very loaded stockbrokers working in the city.

My experience was they were loud braying sexist arseholes that talked about women like pieces of meat, very arrogant and off their tits on cocaine, regularly made lewd horrible comments to all the bar staff, very entitled.

Obviously, that's only my limited experience but bleurgh no thanks.

Also weirdly none of them could dance- absolutely no rhythm whatsoever

Ask Kate, she managed it!

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with coming to MN with this because there are SO many people here and you never know who knows who or what

Row in Putney

@TangledTrees

Ask Kate, she managed it!

Hahahahahaha!!!!!!!