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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not text him on his birthday?

154 replies

Canunothanks · 14/09/2021 19:38

Been seeing this guy for 5 months ish. He’s gone to see his parents because it’s his birthday (different city).

I was on a shitty work shift last night and he was texting me about it. Didn’t reply to my last text at 1am. Which is fine obviously, but it’s 930pm the next day now. No reply.

It’s his birthday tomorrow.

If he doesn’t text me back do I even say happy birthday? Seems so pathetic to double text

OP posts:
maddy68 · 14/09/2021 19:38

Wow. High maintenance much....

gamerchick · 14/09/2021 19:40

You're joking right? He didn't reply to a text at 1am and he's currently visiting family?

Come on man.

Cloverforever · 14/09/2021 19:42

How old are you?

Cocomarine · 14/09/2021 19:42

“Double text”? Someone you’ve been dating for FIVE MONTHS.

I’m only surprised you work working a night shift, as I thought there was legislation preventing 13 years olds from doing that 🤷🏻‍♀️

ikeepseeingit · 14/09/2021 19:42

Why are you playing games this way? He probably just forgot to reply seeing as it was so late when you text him last. Of course you should send him a happy birthday message if you care about him.

Justmuddlingalong · 14/09/2021 19:43

Yes. Text him happy birthday. He's visiting family so is busy.

thehistorymum · 14/09/2021 19:44

Yes, text him happy birthday!

Annoyedanddissapointed · 14/09/2021 19:46

@Cocomarine

“Double text”? Someone you’ve been dating for FIVE MONTHS.

I’m only surprised you work working a night shift, as I thought there was legislation preventing 13 years olds from doing that 🤷🏻‍♀️

My face on a side there😂
To not text him on his birthday?
lynntheyresexpeople · 14/09/2021 19:49

For the love of god, really?? What is it with all these bloody mind games these days?? Text the man. He's visiting his family, you know he's busy. Why on earth would you consider not wishing him a happy birthday out of spite? He's visiting family and was up until 1am texting you about a bad day you're having. That speaks volumes. You're being shockingly self involved.

Canunothanks · 14/09/2021 19:49

I think it’s quite rude to ignore a text all day... it takes 20 seconds to reply. He’s always going home to family so it’s not like it’s a big event.

He didn’t have 20 seconds in his whole day to reply or ask how I was after the shift

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 14/09/2021 19:50

You spoke to him during your shift.

INeed2P · 14/09/2021 19:52

@Canunothanks

I think it’s quite rude to ignore a text all day... it takes 20 seconds to reply. He’s always going home to family so it’s not like it’s a big event.

He didn’t have 20 seconds in his whole day to reply or ask how I was after the shift

It also takes you 20 seconds to send a quick text saying "oh that shift was awful, hope I didn't keep you up texting too late!" surely? You're obviously more bothered about not double texting than actually speaking to him!
lynntheyresexpeople · 14/09/2021 19:52

@Canunothanks

I think it’s quite rude to ignore a text all day... it takes 20 seconds to reply. He’s always going home to family so it’s not like it’s a big event.

He didn’t have 20 seconds in his whole day to reply or ask how I was after the shift

He was up in the middle of the night asking you about the shift - he doesn't need to continue asking about it. You're not the first to have a bad working day.
Bimblybomeyelash · 14/09/2021 19:52

So he was texting you last night but didn’t reply to the last message? You sent a text at 1:00 at night. Did it need a reply?! You’ve been dating for 5 months of course you message him to say happy birthday, what the hell is wrong with you?!

Canunothanks · 14/09/2021 19:53

It’s unusual for us not to speak during the day

OP posts:
lynntheyresexpeople · 14/09/2021 19:53

@Canunothanks

I think it’s quite rude to ignore a text all day... it takes 20 seconds to reply. He’s always going home to family so it’s not like it’s a big event.

He didn’t have 20 seconds in his whole day to reply or ask how I was after the shift

And he might well go home to family often, but it's his birthday - so it is a big event to them. Not your business anyway. Honestly op you sound so entitled Confused
GiveMeAUserName123 · 14/09/2021 19:54

Wow, your high maintenance.

Did you ask him a direct question for him to answer back too? If not then why would he text again? The shift is over so why still talk about it a day later?

Wish him a happy birthday and stop playing childish games

peboh · 14/09/2021 19:56

If you don't text and he thinks you're ghosting him, honestly he's made a lucky escape.

Yummypumpkin · 14/09/2021 19:56

Let me ask you this. Do you care about and truly wish him a good birthday? Then tell him it's easy.

If not, don't bother and let him find someone who does.

Waspsarearseholes · 14/09/2021 20:12

Jesus Christ. Grow up. Most people have learnt that the world doesn't revolve around them before they're old enough to have a boyfriend.

Antinerak · 14/09/2021 20:14

LTB. What an asshole. Get your ducks in a row and get out of there hun xx

HeddaGarbled · 14/09/2021 20:19

You had him up till late whinging about ‘me me me’ and you can’t even wish him a happy birthday?

Winemewhynot · 14/09/2021 20:21

Yeah he’s probably doing his ex.

Or maybe he’s just spending time with family and hasn’t realised he’s playing a game of text stalemate with his girlfriend of five months Hmm

gamerchick · 14/09/2021 20:24

You're hard work OP.

In fact I think this is a bit of a piss take because nobody is that self involved. Jolly good.

DroopyClematis · 14/09/2021 20:27

Five months in and you're playing 'text or no text?'