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Original poster

To not text him on his birthday?

154 replies

Canunothanks · 14/09/2021 19:38

Been seeing this guy for 5 months ish. He’s gone to see his parents because it’s his birthday (different city).

I was on a shitty work shift last night and he was texting me about it. Didn’t reply to my last text at 1am. Which is fine obviously, but it’s 930pm the next day now. No reply.

It’s his birthday tomorrow.

If he doesn’t text me back do I even say happy birthday? Seems so pathetic to double text

OP posts:
SaltedCaramelIcedLatte · 14/09/2021 21:14

Please grow up

Milkshake54 · 14/09/2021 21:15

Just text him today asking how his day with his family has been?
And text him tomorrow to say happy birthday?

ButterflyAway · 14/09/2021 21:16

I’d be pretty hurt if someone I text regularly through the day went an entire day without texting me too. Maybe give him a call and see if everything’s ok? Only reason I could assume for this would be some kind of emergency has happened. Don’t understand why you’ve had a rough time here either (but do wish him a happy birthday!) Flowers

Aria2015 · 14/09/2021 21:17

This made me smile because if you saw my text history with my dh, you'd see that I'm basically having a conversation with myself! I'd be lucky if he replies to 1 in every 10 texts from me! I know we live together so it's different but I don't think double texting is anything to be self conscious about and it would certainly be 'off' not to wish him happy birthday!

Justmuddlingalong · 14/09/2021 21:17

He’s always going home to family so it’s not like it’s a big event.
Is this the real issue?

Nillynally · 14/09/2021 21:22

Never text him again. He'll have had a lucky escape

MyMabel · 14/09/2021 21:23

Pathetic to double text?

My DP stopped replying to my messages about a month ago.. I still message him bull of crap throughout the day. (What’s for dinner, who he needs to email/call regarding bills/out house sale/buying the new house ect) how our DD went off to nursery. He reads my messages he just doesn’t reply often 😂

Are you really that self conscious about texting more than one consecutive text without a reply between? Text him happy birthday, it would be much more pathetic not to.

Buffoonborisisatwat · 14/09/2021 21:26

@Canunothanks

I think it’s quite rude to ignore a text all day... it takes 20 seconds to reply. He’s always going home to family so it’s not like it’s a big event.

He didn’t have 20 seconds in his whole day to reply or ask how I was after the shift

He texts you back, then you text him again, so it's his turn again, so he has to text you back, then you text again and so on and so bloody on. Jeezus when does it stop? When you decide it's time to stop or when he decides? Fuck! What a fucking head fuck!
Undisclosedlocation · 14/09/2021 21:27

@Canunothanks

I think it’s quite rude to ignore a text all day... it takes 20 seconds to reply. He’s always going home to family so it’s not like it’s a big event.

He didn’t have 20 seconds in his whole day to reply or ask how I was after the shift

Where as I think it’s quite rude to text people at 1am 🤷‍♀️

If you’d text me at that time, I would have ignored your text too. Deliberately.

Original poster
Canunothanks · 14/09/2021 21:28

Can someone please explain why it’s unreasonable to be slightly confused/upset that someone you’re seeing randomly disappeared during a text conversation and nearly 24 hours later still hasn’t replied?

When it’s usually a continuous conversation throughout the day?

Honestly struggling to understand how that means I need to grow up

OP posts:
Wineandroses3 · 14/09/2021 21:28

I’m going against the grain but not a chance I would text him, he’s not replied to you last text so don’t double text him!! It’s difficult you were in an established relationship with him but you’re not! I absolutely would not send him another text

Original poster
Canunothanks · 14/09/2021 21:29

I think that’s the difference... everyone is comparing this to an established relationship, which we do not have

OP posts:
10ColaBottles · 14/09/2021 21:29

Unmmmmm surely if you've been seeing him 5 months you might be concerned about him follow up to check????

and possibly to wish him happy birthday if you weren't so stubborn.

Are you 15?

lemonsyellow · 14/09/2021 21:31

I don’t think it’s rude to ignore a text all day. Even all week. Or all month. Because there is nothing more to say on whatever you were talking about. The conversation is finished. It’s not ignoring the text, it’s just not continuing a conversation. Are you like that when talking? Someone has to always be talking and there’s never a time of silence? Or the last person who talked shouldn’t “double talk”?

MyMabel · 14/09/2021 21:32

@Canunothanks

Perhaps the honeymoon phase is ending. This is why the texts slow, the x’s on the end become less or stop completely. You don’t feel the need to constantly check in and have a conversation all day because you’re comfortable enough with each other to have that virtual space, then talk about your day later on.

To not text him on his birthday?
MyMabel · 14/09/2021 21:33

Pressed too soon. Example A) of a completely honeymoon phase-less relationship. 😂 don’t ask what it’s about as I barely remember, a shopping list and what looks like me begging to be brought a cup of tea upstairs 😂

lemonsyellow · 14/09/2021 21:33

@Canunothanks

I think that’s the difference... everyone is comparing this to an established relationship, which we do not have
I’m not comparing it to an established relationship. What you are doing is a sure fire way never to get an established relationship. It’s demanding and controlling.
CoronaPeroni · 14/09/2021 21:33

Lol at double text! GrinWho plays these games? Also, were you only going to text happy birthday and not actually speak? I don't understand all the new rules.

spotcheck · 14/09/2021 21:34

OP
There are many, many reasons why he hasn't text back. Perhaps cool your jets a bit and give him a chance?

Crunchymum · 14/09/2021 21:34

@Canunothanks
You mean WhatsApp right? And not an actual text.

So you can see her read your message and when he was last online?

MatildaIThink · 14/09/2021 21:36

@CoronaPeroni

Lol at double text! GrinWho plays these games? Also, were you only going to text happy birthday and not actually speak? I don't understand all the new rules.
I am pretty sure even the OP does not understand the rule she is making up.
Bluntness100 · 14/09/2021 21:37

Um he disappeared at one Am op, so he likely went to sleep. This is acceptable behaviour. He is busy today and likely forgot to continue your conversation. This is also ok.

It’s not ok to decide in advance to punish him for this by not wishing him happy birthday,

I don’t know what’s causing your behaviour, if it’s neediness or manipulative, but it’s not ok.

lockdownalli · 14/09/2021 21:37

Are you very young OP?

It all sounds like a load of tedious drama over nothing.

CoronaPeroni · 14/09/2021 21:38

Why wouldn't you just text, hi how are things today? Honestly, I'm surprised anyone ever has a relationship.

PatchworkElmer · 14/09/2021 21:39

Text him on his birthday, for goodness sake