To not text him on his birthday?

[Canunothanks]

Been seeing this guy for 5 months ish. He’s gone to see his parents because it’s his birthday (different city).

I was on a shitty work shift last night and he was texting me about it. Didn’t reply to my last text at 1am. Which is fine obviously, but it’s 930pm the next day now. No reply.

It’s his birthday tomorrow.

If he doesn’t text me back do I even say happy birthday? Seems so pathetic to double text

It isn’t pride speaking, it’s more experience from being messed around in the past and still not being sure what I want. I’m guarded in relationships and this behaviour just highlights why.

OK - but there's guarded, which is understandable - & confusing, which is what your man is likely responding to.

He wants to be in a proper relationship, & you do not.
He's now possibly being avoidant, or punishing you, or taking a step back because he;s protecting his own non-reciprocated feelings ...
or possibly, he's just forgotten his phone charger, or is living in the moment with family & old friends.

You both need to wise up & TALK instead of overthinking or (possibly - we don't know his view of things) gameplaying via withdrawal.
And one of the consequences of that talk might be that you fully own that you don't want a proper 'label' relationship with him, & allow him to move on if he is unhappy with that.
Equally, in that talk, if you decide to stay together, you should express how you feel about communication styles, & ask him to commit to being consistent with his.

But given your update about his immaturity & frequently acting like a teenager - are you really that bothered? Would it not be simpler to split, & leave yourself available for a new FWB when you feel ready for one?

Fair enough, Cananothanks. However you are upset that he didn't return your texts (though he might have done so by now).

I'm not sure either of you know exactly what you want from this relationship but it has only been five months, some of it during lockdown.

Why not give it a break and then reassess how you feel in a while. There are more fish in the sea.

I think @Cocomarine and @ChargingBuck are probably right.

OP, what do you actually want? You told him (probably rightly) that you needed to think about things before committing to a relationship with him, which suggests a certain level of distance/rationality about the relationship, yet you seem unduly upset by his texting slowdown. He might even think he's giving you the space you want. Or, having done the cliché 'I always withdraw from the ones I have feelings for;, he could also just be trying the old line on an old flame he's re-encountered.

The thing is what you want out of it all. And why you would find someone you describe as immature and behaving like a 15 year old attractive enough as an FWB, far less a boyfriend?

I expect he’s thinking about dumping you for being too high maintenance