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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wish people would stop saying childless

278 replies

Moolihooli · 14/09/2021 00:17

Watching loose women today, Katie Piper - not for the first time - used “childless” in reference to women without children.

Previously she has also said that she dreads employers who are childless because they lack the empathy for women with child care needs.

I wish people would stop using “childless” as a description for people who are not parents.

OP posts:
Elouera · 14/09/2021 00:18

What is YOUR preferred term then???

I'm interested, because I have no children.

Sparklfairy · 14/09/2021 00:20

I've heard childfree but then that can imply that children are a massive burden Grin

gardeninggirl68 · 14/09/2021 00:21

You can't say anything these days without offending someone!

ShippingNews · 14/09/2021 00:21

If you are talking about some topic which is relevant to having / not having children ( such as the topic you mention), there isn't really any alternative term. What would you suggest ?

Kite22 · 14/09/2021 00:22

But, if that is relevant to the subject under discussion, a term is needed.

What would you allow ?

Viviennemary · 14/09/2021 00:22

I agree. Its crass.

Alpenguin · 14/09/2021 00:24

I never wanted kids (ended up with two later in life) and hated childless because it valued me only in terms of reproductive capacity or success.

I’m not sure what I’d have considered as an alternative because anyone who knew me knew how kids were not in my plan (well that went well didn’t it?) never raised the issue or introduced me as being without kids.

Singlebutmarried · 14/09/2021 00:24

So you want DINKs or SINKs?

Adult only?

Perhaps a badge so no words needed?

A lanyard, card, oooh special handshake to convey the lack of (or absence of - do you have a preferred term for describing not having something?) children (or is it the child part of child less you object to?)

olidora63 · 14/09/2021 00:25

If you don’t have children for whatever reason…you are childless/ child free 🤷‍♀️

NortieTortie · 14/09/2021 00:25

I don't see why it's an issue?

Surely it's just quicker than saying people without children. Plus doesn't carry the connotations of 'childfree'

MorriseysGladioli · 14/09/2021 00:25

It's just a descriptor, I think.

Sweetchocolatecandy · 14/09/2021 00:26

I don’t have kids (by choice) and I prefer the term childfree to childless. I wouldn’t get majorly offended if someone referred to me as being childless but I can see how it could be upsetting to some people who have had miscarriages or who are unable to have kids.

Original poster
Moolihooli · 14/09/2021 00:27

Childfree is ok. Or, even, without children is better.

But the suggestion that being “childless” means a lack of empathy is absolutely wrong.

OP posts:
KeyboardWorriers · 14/09/2021 00:28

I see where you are coming from. But also other than "child free" (which many would assume meant : has children but is without them at this moment in time) I can't think of another succinct descriptor?

BasicDad · 14/09/2021 00:29

Childless is a negative connotation though, as is homeless and YANBU.

Childfree is much better and implies choice.

MorriseysGladioli · 14/09/2021 00:30

What about people who haven't made a choice?

KeyboardWorriers · 14/09/2021 00:31

@BasicDad but then we would have to try and guage before using a descriptor whether that person was not a parent through choice?

belimoo · 14/09/2021 00:31

@gardeninggirl68

You can't say anything these days without offending someone!
Agreed. When did everyone get so unbelievably caught up in semantics.
BasicDad · 14/09/2021 00:36

[quote KeyboardWorriers]@BasicDad but then we would have to try and guage before using a descriptor whether that person was not a parent through choice?[/quote]
Then it would be more appropriate to just simply say they/he/she don't/doesn't have children.

It's not the end of the world, but it's on a par with describing women as females.

ShippingNews · 14/09/2021 00:37

@Moolihooli

Childfree is ok. Or, even, without children is better.

But the suggestion that being “childless” means a lack of empathy is absolutely wrong.

But the "lack of empathy" is only relevant in this particular case, ie someone saying she dreads employers who are childless because they lack the empathy for women with child care needs

When people use "childless" in normal conversation, they are not implying that the person lacks empathy. Only in your example is that so.

gardeninggirl68 · 14/09/2021 00:39

Does the rest of the world know we are now not saying 'childless'?

Is it child free and home free now then?

Thethreecs · 14/09/2021 00:39

Oops I use 'childless' myself, although I did use to say 'no children' but people were offended by this. Anyone I know without children refer to themselves as 'childless' . I use the term 'child free' when I'm out without my children. Gosh I just get so confused these days on what's right and wrong, I should do what dh does and just talk about the weather.

Sparklfairy · 14/09/2021 00:40

I suppose you could use parent/non parent but as pp said you're just splitting hairs with semantics no so a minority aren't offended.

Athinginitself · 14/09/2021 00:41

Currently people use childless when the person wanted children but couldn't for any reason and childfree when they chose not to or are happy with the situation.
I'm the former I quite like there being a distinction. There are a lot of horrible assumptions and stupid stereotypes made about women without children but that's going to happen whatever word is used.

October2020 · 14/09/2021 00:43

@MorriseysGladioli generally referred to as Childless Not By Choice.

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