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Original poster

To wish people would stop saying childless

278 replies

Moolihooli · 14/09/2021 00:17

Watching loose women today, Katie Piper - not for the first time - used “childless” in reference to women without children.

Previously she has also said that she dreads employers who are childless because they lack the empathy for women with child care needs.

I wish people would stop using “childless” as a description for people who are not parents.

OP posts:
FOJN · 14/09/2021 09:06

I don't have children, you can describe that anyway you like. I'm a grown up who doesn't need the rest of the human race to validate or approve my life choices and I refuse the responsibility of validating or approving the life choices of others.

My issue with her comments are about women with childcare issues needing empathy from employers, are we ever going to get past the idea that father's are barely more than sperm donors.

lockdownmadnessdotcom · 14/09/2021 09:07

@Generallystruggling

Not entirely sure what term is PC then, can you enlighten us all? I’d say child free personally, unsure whether that works? So hard to keep up nowadays. Watched a video on BBC news last night where women were called menstruators. Even women is an offensive term now.
Yes I also saw an article on the BBC about festivals being awkward for "people" who have periods. Grrrr.

Returning to the thread, as a pp said, why does everyone go out looking for reasons to be offended?

The charge that a woman without children lacks empathy is crass and rude. But that is a different point to what you call a woman without children.

HarrietsChariot · 14/09/2021 09:10

I hadn't considered this before but you're right that "childless" is quite offensive. It's the same as with describing anyone with a claim they are not something, it implies that the thing they are not is the default and therefore they are somehow inferior.

You can't do that with race or other comparators. Eg "We've got a good mix of people applying for the job, there are some non-whites and non-heterosexuals."

DeepaBeesKit · 14/09/2021 09:37

I prefer 'childfree'. I also get really annoyed at the implication that if you don't have kids you don't have empathy. That really ticks me off. angry

Are you sure people are implying that when using that term?

Childless isn’t neutral either. It implies something lacking, that having children is the default, the norm.

Being really factual here, of course having children is the default. We are living beings, we reproduce, by and large. Species would not in fact survive if we didn't. It doesn't mean people need to get offended if they haven't. There are outliers to any norm, that's why the term "normal distribution" means what it does.

SmileyClare · 14/09/2021 09:39

Childless is a statement of fact. It's only offensive if like Katie Piper you're lumping all childless people into one homogeneous group and attributing negative characteristics to that "group".

Using "less" as a suffix is indicating a lack of. That doesn't have a negative or positive connotation, it's simply a fact.
It's simply saying "without". For example, weightless, doubtless, homeless, needless, selfless, harmless.

Nobody is saying a lack of children or being without children is a negative thing by saying "childless". I think it's absurd to take offense.

DeepaBeesKit · 14/09/2021 09:39

I don't have children, you can describe that anyway you like. I'm a grown up who doesn't need the rest of the human race to validate or approve my life choices and I refuse the responsibility of validating or approving the life choices of others.

Oh thank goodness, the voice of reason. I like you.

StoneofDestiny · 14/09/2021 09:42

Homeless = no home
Toothless = no teeth
Childless = no children

StoneofDestiny · 14/09/2021 09:43

Even women is an offensive term now

Only to idiots. Don't pander to it, it just lets extremists dictate what's normal, when it's not.

CounsellorTroi · 14/09/2021 09:45

Nobody is saying a lack of children or being without children is a negative thing by saying "childless". I think it's absurd to take offense

Nevertheless childless is sometimes used as a pejorative rather than just a descriptor. .

DeepaBeesKit · 14/09/2021 09:46

Counsellor I think people make a choice to interpret the speakers intention to be pejorative.

Neonplant · 14/09/2021 09:49

@Elouera

What is YOUR preferred term then???

I'm interested, because I have no children.

Surely the obvious one is child free?
IrisLilyRose · 14/09/2021 09:49

I disagree that homeless is pejorative.
It's all about intent.

CounsellorTroi · 14/09/2021 09:57

It's simply saying "without". For example, weightless, doubtless, homeless, needless, selfless, harmless.

Heartless, senseless, tactless, reckless,soulless, spineless, cheerless, joyless, ruthless, mindless, aimless ……not all -less words are simply saying without. They carry judgement.

EatYourVegetables · 14/09/2021 09:59

Oh FFS. I wish I had enough time to be outraged by a neutral term like “childless”.

“Childfree” seems problematic.

HumunaHey · 14/09/2021 10:06

@CounsellorTroi

It's simply saying "without". For example, weightless, doubtless, homeless, needless, selfless, harmless.

Heartless, senseless, tactless, reckless,soulless, spineless, cheerless, joyless, ruthless, mindless, aimless ……not all -less words are simply saying without. They carry judgement.

But isn't that because it's typically a negative thing to not have a heart, sense, etc?

I think that's why some people find offense with 'childless'. It really depends on how you feel deep down about not having children (positive/negative/neither).

ManifestDestinee · 14/09/2021 10:12

I wish people would stop using “childless” as a description for people who are not parents

If you don't have a home you are homeless. If you don't have a job you are jobless. If something doesn't hurt it is painless.
If you don't have children you are childless. You can't change the English language because you don't like the connotation.

IrisLilyRose · 14/09/2021 10:49

Fearless, painless, selfless, harmless, noiseless, fatless (of a sponge in baking), yeastless (of dough) are not negative words but descriptive.

FiveShelties · 14/09/2021 10:55

I have no children, I am childless, please do not give me some new fangled PC descriptor.

I was devastated when I found I could not have children, but it has never occurred to me to be upset about someone thinking I am childless. I would have to work really hard to be offended by that.

Viviennemary · 14/09/2021 11:01

I dont like the expression. We dont say husbandless. Partnerless. It's implying something is lacking.

CounsellorTroi · 14/09/2021 11:05

@Viviennemary

I dont like the expression. We dont say husbandless. Partnerless. It's implying something is lacking.
Good point.
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 14/09/2021 11:05

Thing is that child free is pretty awful too, as it suggests children are a huge burden etc.

“Without children” seems the most neutral.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 14/09/2021 11:06

I dont like the expression. We dont say husbandless. Partnerless. It's implying something is lacking.

Husband-free I like!

vivainsomnia · 14/09/2021 11:08

Abs how about painless? Careful next time you go to the dentist. Don't ask if the procedure is painless, he might be offended.

CounsellorTroi · 14/09/2021 11:11

Thing is that child free is pretty awful too, as it suggests children are a huge burden etc.

I think people who have chosen not to have children should be free to use a term which reflects how they themselves feel.

Berkeys · 14/09/2021 11:15

@Athinginitself

Currently people use childless when the person wanted children but couldn't for any reason and childfree when they chose not to or are happy with the situation. I'm the former I quite like there being a distinction. There are a lot of horrible assumptions and stupid stereotypes made about women without children but that's going to happen whatever word is used.
This