Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give my DS my bank card to get a few things from the shop?

231 replies

Seainasive · 13/09/2021 14:49

I mean I know I’m not supposed to let it out of my sight and before COVID-19 I would have sent him with some cash but now I never have any!

Do you/would you let your DC use your cash card? DS is 13.

OP posts:
LST · 16/09/2021 12:31

@GreyhoundG1rl

Nothing has happened yet is not the same as nothing will happen.
I think literally everyone in the world has more on their plate than giving a shit if someone was using a bank card with the permission of the owner. I would put my house on nothing ever happening
SirChenjins · 16/09/2021 12:44

Ahhh - but do you have permission from the house owner to do that? Grin

LST · 16/09/2021 12:50

@SirChenjins

Ahhh - but do you have permission from the house owner to do that? Grin
Well technically that's the bank! So no 🤣
SirChenjins · 16/09/2021 13:03

I think you’ll find you’ve actually just committed fraud there - you’ll probably have to go to the big jail if the bank finds out you did that ShockGrin

LST · 16/09/2021 13:11

@SirChenjins

I think you’ll find you’ve actually just committed fraud there - you’ll probably have to go to the big jail if the bank finds out you did that ShockGrin
Oh dear lord no! I shall name change with immediate effect!
FaceForRadio1973 · 16/09/2021 13:15

*'... when at 13 he might be question at Tesco as to whether he is Mrs. Jones?

Not ridiculous at all.

Oh my goodness. My son would say "she's my mum" and that would be the end of it.'*

Admittedly I have never worked in a shop, but if I found a young lad offering me a card that obviously wasn't his, there's no way that" She's my mum" would cut it.

At the very least he would be having an interesting chat with my manager or a security guard!

SirChenjins · 16/09/2021 13:22

How many shops do you think actually check the millions upon millions of transactions that go through every day? In the last 10 years - how many times has the person at the checkout taken your card from you as you've swiped it over the chip and pin thing or before you've put it in the card reader and asked you to prove your identity?

Come on - it just doesn't happen Grin

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 16/09/2021 13:23

Well id risk the interesting chat with the manager or security guard. No one has ever so much as looked at my card when im using it

moynomore · 16/09/2021 13:25

Not sure how "interesting" that chat with the security guard would be once they realise I am his mum.

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 16/09/2021 14:24

moynomore scaredy- cats? 😂 There's no reason to do it. I've never once been in a situation where it would have even been useful. As for "nothing will happen" - the consequences for the child if he does get questioned - why would a parent choose to put their child in that position instead of transferring the money to their account? As dor trusting your partner - joint accounts have a card each.

The consequences for both parent and child if the child accidentally loses the card or indeed if their pocket is picked - police called because they are a victim of crime, what's been stolen and used contactless by the theif? Mum's credit card...

Worse if its cloned at a cash machine when being used by a child or anyone very obviously not the account holder to withdraw cash and the account is subsequently emptied - banks do check the security camera footage at the cash machine in those circumstances.

moynomore · 16/09/2021 14:26

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme

moynomore scaredy- cats? 😂 There's no reason to do it. I've never once been in a situation where it would have even been useful. As for "nothing will happen" - the consequences for the child if he does get questioned - why would a parent choose to put their child in that position instead of transferring the money to their account? As dor trusting your partner - joint accounts have a card each.

The consequences for both parent and child if the child accidentally loses the card or indeed if their pocket is picked - police called because they are a victim of crime, what's been stolen and used contactless by the theif? Mum's credit card...

Worse if its cloned at a cash machine when being used by a child or anyone very obviously not the account holder to withdraw cash and the account is subsequently emptied - banks do check the security camera footage at the cash machine in those circumstances.

But what if? ... but what if? ... but what if? ...
UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 16/09/2021 14:32

moynomore yep - why do something so pointless out of sheer lazyness and put your child in a vulnerable situation instead of something to empower them, like helping them set up their own account with debit card?

LST · 16/09/2021 14:33

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme

moynomore yep - why do something so pointless out of sheer lazyness and put your child in a vulnerable situation instead of something to empower them, like helping them set up their own account with debit card?
They have their own. But when we're on a dog walk and they nip in the shop for me for essentials they use mine.
worriedatthemoment · 16/09/2021 14:46

I used to until dc got own cards and now I transfer them money to get me bits

SirChenjins · 16/09/2021 14:52

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme - Wow, that’s overthinking on another level! I don’t know whether to laugh or be impressed by your imagination Grin

MeanderingGently · 16/09/2021 14:55

No, I wouldn't. I never have. My children are now adults and I still wouldn't let them.....no-one uses my bank card(s) except me.

MrsSkylerWhite · 16/09/2021 21:22

Moynomore

Oh my goodness. My son would say "she's my mum" and that would be the end of it.”

No, it wouldn’t.
Have you worked in banking? I have.

MrsSkylerWhite · 16/09/2021 21:23

LST

MrsSkylerWhite
Ridiculous?

Ok.

You might want to read the terms and conditions you signed when you opened your accounts. It’s fraud, whether you like it or not.

Why would you want to embarrass your son like that, when at 13 he might be question at Tesco as to whether he is Mrs. Jones?

Not ridiculous at all.

Yes it is bloody ridiculous.

Nothing will happen if I let anyone use my bloody bank card. My MIL is a carer and she goes shopping for her clients using her clients bank cards.“

Which is not legal.

Can only repeat, have you worked in banking?

SirChenjins · 16/09/2021 21:29

I have - snd I never once dealt with a fraud case that involved a child using its mum’s bank card. Not once.

And I’ll repeat - How many shops do you think actually check the millions upon millions of transactions that go through every day? In the last 10 years - how many times has the person at the checkout taken your card from you as you've swiped it over the chip and pin thing or before you've put it in the card reader and asked you to prove your identity?

I know some people on MN love a good ‘what if the sky were to fall in’ but good grief.

LST · 16/09/2021 21:31

@MrsSkylerWhite

LST

MrsSkylerWhite
Ridiculous?

Ok.

You might want to read the terms and conditions you signed when you opened your accounts. It’s fraud, whether you like it or not.

Why would you want to embarrass your son like that, when at 13 he might be question at Tesco as to whether he is Mrs. Jones?

Not ridiculous at all.

Yes it is bloody ridiculous.

Nothing will happen if I let anyone use my bloody bank card. My MIL is a carer and she goes shopping for her clients using her clients bank cards.“

Which is not legal.

Can only repeat, have you worked in banking?

@MrsSkylerWhite have you ever entered the real world?
MrsSkylerWhite · 16/09/2021 21:47

LST

@MrsSkylerWhite have you ever entered the real world?”

Don’t be an idiot. Born in 1963 to parents who lived in two rooms, sweet FA to their names. Father illiterate, we were trained to hide when the rent, coal, milk came calling.

Yes, I’ve lived in the “real world”. Funnily enough, the laws of the land applied there too.

If PP’s MILs as carers to vulnerable people are genuinely using multiple bank cards to shop for clients, seriously, they need to stop, now. The law doesn’t cease to apply because you were being kind. They’re there for a reason.
No doubt you’d be appalled if countless old people were being fleeced by “kind” MILs who were just helping them out by using their bank cards.

Again, read your terms and conditions (and stop being an idiot). The law is the law whether you like it or not or however loud you shout “ridiculous”.

MrsSkylerWhite · 16/09/2021 21:48

Incidentally, does her employer know she has access to her client’s bank cards?

No credible agency would authorise such practice.

Booknooks · 16/09/2021 21:55

I think some people are getting the law mixed up with a banks terms and conditions. A card used with someone's permission (if they have capacity) is not illegal, and it's highly likely the bank will be arsed about this breach of the terms anyway. For me the biggest thing would be whether I could trust them to not buy a load of crap!

Booknooks · 16/09/2021 21:55

Bank will not be

gogohm · 16/09/2021 22:04

I've given mine to dd to buy shopping, during lockdown I let her use it for online shops too (I was locked down across the country)