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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give my DS my bank card to get a few things from the shop?

231 replies

Seainasive · 13/09/2021 14:49

I mean I know I’m not supposed to let it out of my sight and before COVID-19 I would have sent him with some cash but now I never have any!

Do you/would you let your DC use your cash card? DS is 13.

OP posts:
Tinacollada · 13/09/2021 15:03

Wow what a load of unnecessary worry.

They ain't gonna arrest you kid for going down the shop for mum. Honestly they won't 🤣

RJnomore1 · 13/09/2021 15:05

It’s not fraud

They don’t need your PIN number

No issue here

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 13/09/2021 15:05

We keep cash in the house for this one purpose.

shinynewapple21 · 13/09/2021 15:05

Yes I've done this.

Although on one occasion he managed to drop the card out of his pocket on a 10 minute walk Hmm luckily it was still there when he went back to look .

SusieBob · 13/09/2021 15:05

@Seainasive

I dunno, I was just doing what I was told as a 16 year old.

If a 13 year old boy turns up at a checkout with a debit card with "Mrs" on it, I'd just suggest that it's fairly likely it will get questioned.

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 13/09/2021 15:05

If you do this, and then become the victim of bank fraud, the bank could use the fact that you had told someone else your PIN and let them use the card as justification to refuse to repay any stolen money.

You don't need to give PINs away - everything is contactless.

Musicaltheatremum · 13/09/2021 15:06

For POA this should be registered with the bank and the bank should give the attorney their own card for the account. The card usually has POA or something similar written on it. Your aunt shouldn't be using your grandfather's card. My partner has POA for his father and has his own card.

ChickenSandwichYum · 13/09/2021 15:06

@Musicaltheatremum

For POA this should be registered with the bank and the bank should give the attorney their own card for the account. The card usually has POA or something similar written on it. Your aunt shouldn't be using your grandfather's card. My partner has POA for his father and has his own card.
I haven't questioned her deeply about it she may well have her own card.
shinynewapple21 · 13/09/2021 15:07

@ChickenSandwichYum I have also done this for my parents and my FIL.

Original poster
Seainasive · 13/09/2021 15:09

Thanks and no he doesn’t get my pin and as it’s all contactless surely no-one can see my name on the card?

Anyway glad to hear that others do this too.

OP posts:
Unmute · 13/09/2021 15:10

I transfer money to ds's account when I need him to shop for me. It takes 30 seconds, which is quicker than me finding my wallet. But I don't think I would have a problem sending him with my card if needed, although it has never come up.

CanICelebrate · 13/09/2021 15:10

I do this a lot with my teen ds.

shinynewapple21 · 13/09/2021 15:10

@ChickenSandwichYum re POA eventually I got POA for my parents and was then issued with a card for their bank account in my name. You have to register the POA with the person's bank and provide your ID for them to issue this.

Notcoolmum · 13/09/2021 15:11

Yes. I do this often with my children.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 13/09/2021 15:11

@chocolatesaltyballs22 - I think my point still stands even if the PIN isn’t disclosed - I think the banks would still seize on it as an excuse not to repay money lost to a fraudster. This may just be me being cynical about banks, but I suspect they will do whatever they can not to reimburse a fraud victim, and it’s better not to give them any excuse.

ilovepixie · 13/09/2021 15:14

I work in a shop and we get this all the time. You can get children's debit cards now anyway so a child paying with a card wouldn't raise any eyebrows.
The only thing I would say is after every 5 contactless payments the user has to enter the pin so if they don't know your pin and this happens you can't use it without inputting the pin.

HollowTalk · 13/09/2021 15:15

@MrsFin

I would, but technically it's fraud.
How is it fraud?
fartasapissed · 13/09/2021 15:15

I always did that when my DC were at home. DM lent her bank card to my DS when we were all out for lunch a couple of weeks ago so she could pay for us but wouldn't have to get up.

GreyhoundG1rl · 13/09/2021 15:16

@Wilkolampshade

I did/do this. Occasionally DD2 likely to add a few things of interest to herself to my list in the guise of 'I bought you a treat mum' 🙄❤️
Yeah, that's the only real risk Grin
SusieBob · 13/09/2021 15:16

[quote SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]@chocolatesaltyballs22 - I think my point still stands even if the PIN isn’t disclosed - I think the banks would still seize on it as an excuse not to repay money lost to a fraudster. This may just be me being cynical about banks, but I suspect they will do whatever they can not to reimburse a fraud victim, and it’s better not to give them any excuse.[/quote]
You aren't wrong. It's in the T&C's of every debit/credit card that you do not disclose your PIN to anyone.

If a card is lost/stolen and a bank has reason to suspect that someone else knew the PIN to it, it can make reclaiming lost money very difficult.

Whoopy1 · 13/09/2021 15:17

I have allowed my ds and dd to use my card occasionally and they do know the PIN number. I also used to use my dm’s card to get her groceries etc.

However, I would think it would be a bit suspect if I was on a till and a young boy came in with a card!

purplesequins · 13/09/2021 15:18

don't contactless transactions sometimes ask for a pin at random intervals?
or not in the uk?

Doggiedementia · 13/09/2021 15:18

Every so often the contactless doesn’t work and you have to put your pin in though. How would you manage that?

Plus as I said and agreeing with @SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius I think it would give the bank wriggle room if you were a victim of fraud.

Scbchl · 13/09/2021 15:18

I use to do it all the time. Only issue we ever had was one person saying us this your mums card. Daughter said yes and she replied your mum knows she shouldn't be giving you it and I'm suppose to keep it. She never and I didn't actually realise it was a huge issue. They now have their own cards and I just transfer cash to them if they are going to the shop.

MasterBeth · 13/09/2021 15:19

@ilovepixie

I work in a shop and we get this all the time. You can get children's debit cards now anyway so a child paying with a card wouldn't raise any eyebrows. The only thing I would say is after every 5 contactless payments the user has to enter the pin so if they don't know your pin and this happens you can't use it without inputting the pin.
This is nonsense. I don’t have to use my PIN every five contactless payments.
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