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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give my DS my bank card to get a few things from the shop?

231 replies

Seainasive · 13/09/2021 14:49

I mean I know I’m not supposed to let it out of my sight and before COVID-19 I would have sent him with some cash but now I never have any!

Do you/would you let your DC use your cash card? DS is 13.

OP posts:
ChiefAdjusterOfRubensShorts · 13/09/2021 16:43

I do it all the time, he pops to the shops for me a few times a week.

He’s taken my credit card into our nearest city before now to buy himself trainers and never betrayed my trust.

SecretWitch · 13/09/2021 16:43

We used to do it all the time. She is 13 and we just got her very own bank card so now we just put money on it when we need a few things.

louloubelx · 13/09/2021 16:46

I had done in the past but opened up a Hyperjar account so he has his own card. Similar to go henry just no fees. Now he has his own card so I can just transfer the money over if I’m sending him out. Also if he does ever lose his card, I can freeze it there and then on his app. It’s a lot less stressful!

MaryMcCarthy · 13/09/2021 16:46

It's not fraud. It's not illegal. It might be against the terms and conditions set by the card issuer but so are many things.

Original poster
Seainasive · 13/09/2021 16:47

Smile he’s a pretty sensible lad

OP posts:
sirfredfredgeorge · 13/09/2021 16:50

So back in 2018 1 in 3 kids at some point had used a contactless card

Back in 2018 1 in 5 primary school kids had their own card.

At an average 6 years later (primary being age 4-11) the vast majority will have their own.

If you want to claim it's rare you need some evidence, 'cos it's not rare in the slightest.

NoSquirrels · 13/09/2021 16:56

I don’t. Because it’s against the T&Cs, I don’t want to encourage them to ever give their card to others to use (because you’re then liable if someone nicks all your cash) so I don’t let them use mine. Easier to stick to the rule here than blur the boundaries because not everyone is going to be scrupulously honest that they’ll encounter.

They each have a debit card and I transfer money on the app. Just as quick, keeps the ‘rules’ crystal clear.

redgoesfaster · 13/09/2021 17:12

Unbelievable so many posters dismissing the T&Cs of their bank Shock

and dismissing people who follow rules, wow. T&Cs and rules which are there to protect you and your finances. Just wow.

PumpkinKlNG · 13/09/2021 17:18

😂 calm down!

FrangipaniBlue · 13/09/2021 17:25

Yep I do this, I even sometimes give him my phone to just use the Apple Pay

SusieBob · 13/09/2021 17:26

@sirfredfredgeorge

So back in 2018 1 in 3 kids at some point had used a contactless card

Back in 2018 1 in 5 primary school kids had their own card.

At an average 6 years later (primary being age 4-11) the vast majority will have their own.

If you want to claim it's rare you need some evidence, 'cos it's not rare in the slightest.

You know that article doesn't actually say that 20% of primary school kids had their own card and you've just pulled that out of your arse, right?

Regardless, I can't be arsed to argue with a pedantic twat who has missed the actually point being made entirely.

HerRoyalRisesAgain · 13/09/2021 17:27

I do all the time with 12 year old DS.

StormzyinaTCup · 13/09/2021 17:36

I have definitely been asked to input my PIN more often when attempting contactless since COVID when a lot of places stopped taking cash and the contactless amount was increased. Maybe depends on your bank?

cheeseisnice · 13/09/2021 17:37

I send my kids to the shops with my card all the time. It never occurred to me that it might be unlawful or anything. I also give it to my partner to use, or take his to use. I thought it was ok, with the cardholders permission.

SpiderinaWingMirror · 13/09/2021 18:06

Yes I would along as you are happy to accept responsibility

Echobelly · 13/09/2021 18:15

Do this all the time with DD (13)

user1471538283 · 13/09/2021 18:21

My DS started using my card at 11. At first it was to get cash out for his lunches and to get him used to using a card and a pin. Then it was to get things with the card. He knew my pin better than I. By the time he was 16 he had his own account.

AndTime · 13/09/2021 18:37

I have a spending money account so just transfer enough to cover what I want in there and send him with that card.

notacooldad · 13/09/2021 19:06

I take it that's in one day? I never use my PIN.
Not even in one afternoon!!!
I've been shopping at the Trafford centre on Sunday
By the time I bought make up in Selfridges, make up in boots, gone to John Lewis and got something for my kitchen, food shopping and then bought some retro sweets and didn't get asked for pin once. I had tea and various cocktails at a couple of places in Altrincham later on and still no request for a pin.ive even used it in a similar way in Lithuania and Romania and not been asked!

Livpool · 13/09/2021 19:50

My family have done this for years - I used to use my Mum's card by entering the PIN (with her consent).

DS is only 5 but when he is older I would be happy for him to use mine. Me and DH do it all the time. I never realised is was an issue

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 13/09/2021 20:11

@MaryMcCarthy

It's not fraud. It's not illegal. It might be against the terms and conditions set by the card issuer but so are many things.
Would you be so blasé if someone had defrauded you of some thousands of pounds, and your bank refused to refund you because you had broken the Ts & Cs, @MaryMcCarthy?

Banks are not kind and philanthropic, and if they can find a way to refuse a refund, they will use it. Why give them the excuse?

LST · 13/09/2021 20:13

My 9 year old uses my card if he nips in shops for me. Wouldn't cross my mind not to let him.

LST · 13/09/2021 20:16

@SusieBob

"But if the checkout person doesn't see the card, how do they know that the card being offered by a 13 YO male is actually owned by an older female?"

It's fairly rare for a 13 year old to have a debit card - I know they exist, but it's rare - so it's not outwith the realms of possibility the person on the checkout would ask to see it.

Granted it's less likely these days but still possible.

My 7 year old and 9 year old have a bank card. I have had a bank card since I was 11. I think it's an awful lot rarer for a 13 year old NOT to have one.
PumpkinKlNG · 15/09/2021 10:04

My son used my bank card in Sainsbury’s yesterday, the woman saw me give it to him, they didn’t care, only people on MN do, no one irl cares

RandomLondoner · 15/09/2021 10:22

I recently got asked for my PIN, having not been asked for it for about a year. So you do get asked for it sometimes.