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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give my DS my bank card to get a few things from the shop?

231 replies

Seainasive · 13/09/2021 14:49

I mean I know I’m not supposed to let it out of my sight and before COVID-19 I would have sent him with some cash but now I never have any!

Do you/would you let your DC use your cash card? DS is 13.

OP posts:
Plumtree391 · 16/09/2021 10:05

It is perfectly fine. I trusted my husband and child with my debit card, they trusted me with theirs. It's quick and easy so why not? It is NOT illegal though it goes against bank guidelines.

I can't imagine the cops sending me off to gaol for allowing my nearest and dearest to use my debit card. I get that it wouldn't be a good idea for some people, ie those who cannot trust their family to be honest and that's why banks deter you from doing it.

puppyknowsbest · 16/09/2021 10:27

No one is saying you're going to go to jail for doing it. But by invalidating the T&Cs your bank will not reimburse you for any fraudulent transactions.
My account was emptied, taken into unauthorised overdraft which then triggered big fees. It was very stressful, police and fraud teams involved over months, and that was knowing i was going to get the money back and credit rating restored. I can't imagine being in that situation and liable for all the losses.

LindaEllen · 16/09/2021 10:44

@MrsFin

I would, but technically it's fraud.
Is it bollocks fraud. He has permission to use the card. Me and DP both use each other's cards depending on who has the most money when we want to buy something - we trust each other - it's not fraud. Fuck me.
Bluntness100 · 16/09/2021 10:46

I don’t think they did prove your point, one in three fhen and much more now is hardly the definition of rare.

Tee20x · 16/09/2021 10:53

Some of the responses here are so funny. "I wouldn't let anyone use my card" ? It's hardly a stranger, if you wouldn't allow your child to nip into the shop and pay with your card I think that's crazy.

It's such a non-issue the police are hardly going to knock down your door with the bank staff armed to close your account.

GrandmaSteglitszch · 16/09/2021 11:11

@Helloumi

Yes, I see no problem. And if it's contactless, he doesn't even need to know your PIN.
And he can buy whatever he wants.

And if he loses it, someone else can use it without a PIN too.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 16/09/2021 11:21

@icedcoffees - all I can say is that I have seen stories (on programmes like Watchdog) where people have been refused refunds of fraudulently taken money because they have violated this particular T&C - how the bank found out, I don't know - but it's a risk I wouldn't choose to take.

But maybe I am more risk-averse than necessary, and you are the sensible one.

MrsSkylerWhite · 16/09/2021 11:22

No, wouldn’t want the consequences if he were questioned.

LST · 16/09/2021 11:32

@MrsSkylerWhite

No, wouldn’t want the consequences if he were questioned.
What are those then?
LadyMaid · 16/09/2021 11:34

I let me 10 year old go to the local shop with my credit card.

It's not an issue.

GreyhoundG1rl · 16/09/2021 11:38

What are those then?
Maybe the police called if it were assumed he'd stolen it?

NotMyCat · 16/09/2021 11:43

@notacooldad

Never mind giving the card to one if your children, we had a colleague who handed his card over to whoever was doing the butty run!

Once someone asked if they could borrow a tenner from him and he gave them his card and pin and said he didnt have any cash on him but they could use the atm and, by the way, could they draw out a twenty for him!!

I used my colleagues card last week. He was working, I wasn't and he asked me to go get a few beers for the end of the day
MrsSkylerWhite · 16/09/2021 11:47

LST

MrsSkylerWhite
No, wouldn’t want the consequences if he were questioned.

What are those then?“

It’s fraud. I have no idea who would be held responsible, presumably OP. If so, I imagine her bank account will be closed at the least.

moynomore · 16/09/2021 11:56

I never realised how many scaredy-cats there are in the world! Literally nothing will happen if your child takes your back card to the shops. Nothing

LST · 16/09/2021 11:59

@MrsSkylerWhite

LST

MrsSkylerWhite
No, wouldn’t want the consequences if he were questioned.

What are those then?“

It’s fraud. I have no idea who would be held responsible, presumably OP. If so, I imagine her bank account will be closed at the least.

Don't be ridiculous
LST · 16/09/2021 12:00

@GreyhoundG1rl

What are those then? Maybe the police called if it were assumed he'd stolen it?
Or maybe a call to the owner to say yes I gave them the card.

Though it would never happen anyway

MrsSkylerWhite · 16/09/2021 12:02

Ridiculous?

Ok.

You might want to read the terms and conditions you signed when you opened your accounts. It’s fraud, whether you like it or not.

Why would you want to embarrass your son like that, when at 13 he might be question at Tesco as to whether he is Mrs. Jones?

Not ridiculous at all.

SirChenjins · 16/09/2021 12:05

I let the DC 15, 22, 24) use my card whenever I or they need something from the shops and I’m not able/don’t have the inclination to take them. They even know my pin number which is very handy when I forget it. If they ever took money out of my account without asking that would be theft though and I’d deal with as such.

I do love reading the works of fiction on MN - such vivid imaginations some of you have Grin

NoSquirrels · 16/09/2021 12:06

In terms of letting my child use my card it’s nothing to do with not trusting them - it’s just my parenting rule is not to normalise something that’s ‘fine when I do it, not when others do it’.

If, in the future, when they’re a teen making questionable decisions, I want to be sure my kid isn’t at risk of being scammed by a so-called ‘friend’ using their card and them having no comeback with police or the bank, then I’d better lead by example now and drum good habits into them.

nomoneytreehere · 16/09/2021 12:08

Lmao at all the unqualified lawyers. Of course it's not fraud.

Doggiedementia · 16/09/2021 12:12

[quote SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]@icedcoffees - all I can say is that I have seen stories (on programmes like Watchdog) where people have been refused refunds of fraudulently taken money because they have violated this particular T&C - how the bank found out, I don't know - but it's a risk I wouldn't choose to take.

But maybe I am more risk-averse than necessary, and you are the sensible one.[/quote]
I’m the exact same @SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius

LST · 16/09/2021 12:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

moynomore · 16/09/2021 12:26

@MrsSkylerWhite

Ridiculous?

Ok.

You might want to read the terms and conditions you signed when you opened your accounts. It’s fraud, whether you like it or not.

Why would you want to embarrass your son like that, when at 13 he might be question at Tesco as to whether he is Mrs. Jones?

Not ridiculous at all.

Oh my goodness. My son would say "she's my mum" and that would be the end of it.
GreyhoundG1rl · 16/09/2021 12:26

Nothing has happened yet is not the same as nothing will happen.

moynomore · 16/09/2021 12:27

But what on earth could happen?