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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give my DS my bank card to get a few things from the shop?

231 replies

Seainasive · 13/09/2021 14:49

I mean I know I’m not supposed to let it out of my sight and before COVID-19 I would have sent him with some cash but now I never have any!

Do you/would you let your DC use your cash card? DS is 13.

OP posts:
sweeneytoddsrazor · 15/09/2021 10:44

I don't know when or what shop you worked in @SusieBob but I can tell you most 13 year olds have debit cards, and nobody on a checkout would ask to see their card.

moynomore · 15/09/2021 13:53

Would you be so blasé if someone had defrauded you of some thousands of pounds, and your bank refused to refund you because you had broken the Ts & Cs

How would the bank know you'd broken the Ts & Cs by giving your card to your own child? I've never known anyone irl to worry about doing something like this. Some people seem to live very stressful lives worrying about stuff like this.

Agadorsparticus · 15/09/2021 13:55

DD paid out of her own bank from 11yrs on her debit card and I'd reimburse her by bank transfer.

wingardium8 · 15/09/2021 14:08

DD (15) has my credit card more often than I do. She knows my PIN and knows that if she ever spent more than I’d explicitly allowed, she’d be in trouble and wouldn’t get it again, so she’s sensible with it.

More surprising is that she has never been queried, not even when she was paying a couple of hundred quid for her birthday meal out with friends Shock

Convenient for us but terrible from a security point of view…

MackemLass79 · 15/09/2021 14:15

@Wilkolampshade are we the same person? Haha. My dds tho young adults now use to do the very same thing when I sent them to shop for something as teens whether it was cash or card (I also use to send them with my card) we would suddenly have chocolate or ice cream or biscuits appear 😂😂😂😂

MondeoFan · 15/09/2021 14:15

It's fine, I would do it and do it on occasion

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 15/09/2021 14:17

I wouldn’t. It’s illegal and if anything happens- such as it being stolen - you risk not being reimbursed for any fraud etc

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 15/09/2021 14:21

DD paid out of her own bank from 11yrs on her debit card and I'd reimburse her by bank transfer.

^^
I do this. Or i transfer to her in advance

FaceForRadio1973 · 15/09/2021 14:30

I can't entirely blame you, and no, I don't believe that it's fraud, but the fact that you have let anyone else use your card is against the bank's T&Cs.

If your card were lost or stolen in your son(?)'s (Sorry, I can't see the thread while replying) care, there is no way that the bank would help you out.

I suspect that if the bank knew, you might be liable for any future losses too....

Bouledeneige · 15/09/2021 14:39

Yes I used to do this. My DC were good about checking with me if they wanted to add something.

GoWalkabout · 15/09/2021 14:53

I wouldn't but I am a total goody two shoes.

Flowerlane · 15/09/2021 18:53

I have been letting my 12 year old do this since he was about 10 and have never even given it a second thought.

He also knows the PIN number in case it randomly asks.

tigger1001 · 15/09/2021 19:21

@HarebrightCedarmoon

It's fairly rare for a 13 year old to have a debit card - I know they exist, but it's rare - so it's not outwith the realms of possibility the person on the checkout would ask to see it

DD2 has had a pre-payment card which does contactless since she was about 8.

Yep. Both mine have had a go Hendry card since they were 8. My eldest got a bank debit card from 11.

I would think it's becoming really ordinary for kids to have cards with contactless capabilities

icedcoffees · 15/09/2021 19:36

Would you be so blasé if someone had defrauded you of some thousands of pounds, and your bank refused to refund you because you had broken the Ts & Cs

How would they know @SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 15/09/2021 19:50

Is it worth the risk, @icedcoffees?

Nat6999 · 15/09/2021 19:58

I ping ds some money if I need anything.

FawnFrenchieMum · 15/09/2021 20:00

Yes I do all the time. He also has one of my second cards (revolut, used mainly for holidays) on his phone with Apple Pay so if ever gets stuck without money etc there is always a little bit on that card for emergency use.

FawnFrenchieMum · 15/09/2021 20:02

@FrangipaniBlue

Yep I do this, I even sometimes give him my phone to just use the Apple Pay
My DS has one of my cards on his phone for Apple Pay Grin
BashfulClam · 15/09/2021 20:07

My mum used to leave her card when my dad and her went on holiday. They had my dads card with them and I would use her card to pay for shopping and for emergencies. I used it to take cash out the cashline though.

icedcoffees · 15/09/2021 20:09

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius

Is it worth the risk, *@icedcoffees*?
I don't see it as a risk at all.

How are the bank going to know unless you tell them?

WhyAmIDoingIt · 15/09/2021 20:22

I don't see how the banks would know?

If you had fraudulent activity on your account wouldn't you just take ownership of the transactions you know that you or your child/dp has made without explicitly saying they were the ones using it at the time?

Would they go to the trouble of investigating transactions you'd ok'd. Surely they'd only concentrate on the ones you flagged?

puppyknowsbest · 16/09/2021 08:57

I had to make a police statement when my card was used fraudulently, as part of a big local investigation. If my card had been used by someone else I would have had to lie to the police or admit to breaching the T&Cs in which case the bank would not have covered subsequent losses. The losses would definitely not have been covered if it came out that I lied to the police.

HarrietsChariot · 16/09/2021 09:02

It would be a breach of the terms and conditions of the account and is arguably fraud because unless it's a prepaid card you are effectively giving him the ability to run up an overdraft on your account.

Also, sometimes contactless payment cards require you to put in your PIN as a security check. Your DS will look like a right idiot if this happens and he doesn't know it.

notacooldad · 16/09/2021 09:47

Never mind giving the card to one if your children, we had a colleague who handed his card over to whoever was doing the butty run!

Once someone asked if they could borrow a tenner from him and he gave them his card and pin and said he didnt have any cash on him but they could use the atm and, by the way, could they draw out a twenty for him!!

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 16/09/2021 09:55

I'm always surprised that so many people think this is fine, or indeed have any cause to do it in normal circumstances. No - nobody has ever used my bank card and I've never used anyone else's.

If I need my kids to spend my money for me I transfer it to their own debit cards - they have all had one from age 10. DH and I both have cards for the joint account so no reason to ever use one another's.

I see so many problems posted on here with partners taking one another's cards and forgetting to return them, leaving the one the card belongs to in the lurch.

Additionally of course it invalidates any fraud claim if you lend your bank card out, and a young teen boy using his mother's card looks like a pick pocket/ thief - why put your child in that position?