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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave a small child high and dry?

496 replies

SewhereIam · 13/09/2021 13:33

I give a lift to a boy in my dd's class, and drop him off after school. They live 30 mins from school, so I drive 20 mins in the wrong direction and then 30 mins on to school, and the same in the afternoon. We live a 10 min drive from school so it adds 40 mins to our morning.

I don't pick up my dd one evening after school, and don't drop off the following morning, due to ex--p's access. The mother of the other child has said I still need to do her school run as she has no other way of him getting to or from school. He is reception aged.

The child is always ready on time and is a lovely little boy, but nothing is contributed towards petrol etc and, while I don't expect it, I thought it was a short term thing while she sorted out suitable transport. It turns out I seem to be that suitable transport and she expects this for the rest of the school year!

I feel bad for saying that I will not collect her child.

OP posts:
LightDrizzle · 13/09/2021 13:35

Bonkers!
I wouldn’t be going 20 minutes out of my way on normal days either. How on earth did this start in the first place?

DressBitch · 13/09/2021 13:35

Why the fuck are you doing this anyway?

Her child is not your concern.

CaMePlaitPas · 13/09/2021 13:35

You need to say no.

Thirtyrock39 · 13/09/2021 13:35

Some people are outrageous -of course you don't need to provide transport for another child

Croprotationinthe14thcentury · 13/09/2021 13:35

You should paint 'mug" on your forehead whilst running around for this cheeky freeloader. Honestly just say no can't do it anymore bye.

Overthebow · 13/09/2021 13:36

Of course you don’t have to pick him up on your day off from the school run. Don’t feel bad about saying no, he’s not your child and the mum is being a CF expecting you to do it. What is the reason she can’t do it herself? She will need to get paid childcare.

shouldistop · 13/09/2021 13:36

Why have you been doing this? Are they a close relative?

BlameItOnTheBlackStar · 13/09/2021 13:36

Whaaaaat? Are you crazy??

villainousbroodmare · 13/09/2021 13:37

How did this start? I'm a pretty easygoing person but this would be a non-runner for me practically speaking, and that air of entitlement would finish it off completely.

TinnedPotatoesRock · 13/09/2021 13:37

The mother of the other child has said I still need to do her school run as she has no other way of him getting to or from school. He is reception aged

Anyone who spoke to me like that would be getting a mouthful, he's not your responsibility to get too and from school. You need to tell her the arrangement stops now and tell her why - cheeky cow

Overthebow · 13/09/2021 13:37

Also to add this is not your responsibility so don’t feel like it is.

KillerAntAmbush · 13/09/2021 13:37

Madness to agree to take him at all

LostSocksBrigade · 13/09/2021 13:37

Just say due to a change in your circumstances you won't be able to do it anymore starting from next week, so she has this week to figure out alternate transport.

WhereismyHeathcliff · 13/09/2021 13:37

She is just being cheeky, tell her you can't do it and don't feel guilty. Going 20 minutes out of your way is silly, and I would be telling her she needs to find another mug to do her school run asap
You could soften the blow by doing it up until a certain date, or say that you have decided to walk to school instead of using the car

olivermcfuddling · 13/09/2021 13:38

She now expects you to do it and doeznt even offer petrol money. Just say no

NorthLodgeAvenue · 13/09/2021 13:38

Poor little kid.They should have thought about this when they bought a house and chose a school.
I suppose you could be kind and offer one more week until they organise themselves.

halcyondays · 13/09/2021 13:38

Just stop doing it altogether. You’re driving an extra 40 minutes out of your way every day as a favour and the boy’s mother now sees you as her personal unpaid taxi driver. How was she planning to get him to school when she applied for a place at a school 30 minutes away?

Travis1 · 13/09/2021 13:38

Dear lord no. Pack it in now

Tiredmum12389 · 13/09/2021 13:39

This is crazy... your incredibly kind offering initially but it sounds as though you are free taken advantage of. My daughter had a lift for a couple of weeks from a friend and they lived next door. I felt terrible. How do you have time to do this?

I would stop all lifts, and you are deffinately not being unreasonable. There's nothing wrong with saying that it's not doable for you, you don't need to have a reason.

HopeYourHighHorseBucks · 13/09/2021 13:39

Theres no "you need to do" anything in this situation. Cheeky cow.

You have to be direct with people like this or she will keep trying it. "I can't take him on XY days as I am not doing the school run"

I would stop doing all the school runs tbh only because of how cheeky she is.

CottonSock · 13/09/2021 13:39

This is insanity. Is there a huge back story?

Cam2020 · 13/09/2021 13:39

I don't think you're a mug, I think you sound very nice, but this woman is taking advantage of you! You don't have to do anything! It's her responsibility to get her child to school!

Thirtyrock39 · 13/09/2021 13:39

I think a polite text to say you had no idea this would be a long term expectation and that is fine as a one off favour but that you are no longer able to take him as it adds so much time to your school run.

Perching · 13/09/2021 13:39

There has got to be a massive dripfeed…

How did this start?
Is this your sister?
Madness. Just stop!

Original poster
SewhereIam · 13/09/2021 13:39

Thank you all. I thought I was lacking in "all pull together" spirit by being cheesed off by it. Glad to see it's normal to feel like this!

OP posts:
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