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Original poster

The Tedious Married Man's Script

278 replies

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 13/09/2021 01:21

Bloke I work with - I have always really liked him and never had any creepy vibes off him. Appeared to be good at his job, pleasant company and if he did mention his wife it was in a nice way.

Tonight, texts around tea time about work stuff. Turned into "my wife doesn't understand me"

Yawn.

Honestly, does he think it's original? I'm nearly 50. Been hearing this shit from married me for 35 years. Yawn.

OP posts:
Roussette · 14/09/2021 07:14

This thread has amused and horrified me. I have so many stories but the one I remember in particular...

Worked in a sales office, I was the youngest there. Our biggest customer (probably in his 40s, he seemed ancient to me, married two DCs, well known large employer) liked to schmooze us all and would regularly take us out to lunch, sometimes one of us, or two at a time. He was always cracking jokes, full of himself.

It wa my turn... out for lunch, posh restaurant. I even remember what I ate and we're talking 40 years ago!

He said he had a proposition for me. He would set me up in a flat in XXXXX (could not afford to live there) and would pay the rent and all the bills and he would call round whenever he wanted so we could spend time together. It was quite clear what he meant....

I was in shock and told him NO. I did have a wry smile about 10 years ago when our local paper had his obituary talking about what a wonderful family man he was Hmm

justnippingoutwillbe5mins · 14/09/2021 09:19

Years ago I started dating a man who seemed great, we went out a few times, had really interesting conversations, he was funny and charming and seemed absolutely fascinated with me (ha ha) and then one day he asked to meet for lunch because there was something very difficult he needed to tell me.

He tells me he had a child, they were 6. I asked him questions and said it wasn't a problem. He then said the problem was he was still with the mother, well, living together, and I asked if they were just co parenting and he said she thought it was more than that, but he only stayed because she wouldn't cope if he left, she was like a child. I checked whether they shared a bed and they did and I got up to go and he grabbed my arm and said how much he wanted to be with me, it had only been a short time but he was smitten. I said "so you are going to leave her?" and he said "oh i can't, she wouldn't cope, but i want so much to be with you"

It took me about 24 hours to compute how much of a mug I had been! I have other stories but that was probably the worst.

Wallywobbles · 14/09/2021 11:25

@AnyFucker

Some women must fall for it. It’s the scattergun approach…keep trying and eventually you will get that sweaty leg over.
I remember reading that if you asked women if they fancied a fuck 1 in 10 (maybe lower odds even) would say yes.

I'd rather be asked that than all this my wide doesn't understand me bollocks.

skodadoda · 14/09/2021 17:39

@TyneTeas

Does he understand his wife...
That would be my response. ‘My wife doesn’t understand me’ translates as, ‘I’m bored and fancy a bit with someone else’.
MaitreKarlsson · 14/09/2021 17:45

Aged 21, first job in London. Walking over Hungerford Bridge. Got chatting to a fellow commuter - couple of years older I thought. Got on well and he took my number. Later on he phoned and we went out for a drink - I immediately noticed his wedding ring. I said - oh - hang on are you married? He looked slightly embarrassed- 'yeah - I thought as I was wearing a ring you'd already spotted that and were up for a laugh'.
So I said - no - I hadn't actually been looking out for that when we walked across a bridge side by side. Sorry - definitely am not up for that. 'Date' lasted approx 5 mins Grin I mean, I know I was probably a bit naive but FFS trying to blame me!

skodadoda · 14/09/2021 17:58

Nip it in the bud
I don’t think OP should be taken that advice in the circs 😆

toxic44 · 14/09/2021 17:58

I had one recently from a guy who walked into my studio. 'I'll take you out to lunch and for a drive. Better than sitting here by yourself. My wife's in a care home so I've nothing to go home for.'
I told him his wife has my every sympathy and I don't care for familiarity.
A formal 'rebuke' always works, lol. Creep!

skodadoda · 14/09/2021 17:58

Taking!

OVienna · 14/09/2021 18:09

@BathMatToe

Yeah it's the same shit from 20 years ago. I worked in admin telling all over... the amount of 'here's my card if you ever want to meet for a coffee' on my leaving days.

Yeah I'd love to meet you, bring your wife and kids as well maybe?

Or the classic 'my wife doesn't understand me...' like the OP.

He's anyone had 'if only I'd met you first...' or 'pity I'm married...'

Yeah, I'd be snapping you up pal, you're absolutely beyond alluring to a 19 year old temp. Can't wait to become embroiled in your custody arrangements while you pick me up in your volvo and we hang out in a dodgy pub.
I'm there.

Oh, the days of temping. I had one guy assuring me that it would be no problem whatsoever to make sure his kids weren't around the weekend he was going to fly me up to Boston from NJ. Lol - he had big plans, it was funny thinking about what was running through his head, none of it had any chance of coming to fruition.
Vixyboo · 14/09/2021 18:11

@Monty27

Block block block
This definitely this
OVienna · 14/09/2021 18:40

@Roussette

This thread has amused and horrified me. I have so many stories but the one I remember in particular...

Worked in a sales office, I was the youngest there. Our biggest customer (probably in his 40s, he seemed ancient to me, married two DCs, well known large employer) liked to schmooze us all and would regularly take us out to lunch, sometimes one of us, or two at a time. He was always cracking jokes, full of himself.

It wa my turn... out for lunch, posh restaurant. I even remember what I ate and we're talking 40 years ago!

He said he had a proposition for me. He would set me up in a flat in XXXXX (could not afford to live there) and would pay the rent and all the bills and he would call round whenever he wanted so we could spend time together. It was quite clear what he meant....

I was in shock and told him NO. I did have a wry smile about 10 years ago when our local paper had his obituary talking about what a wonderful family man he was Hmm

@Roussette Bet you would have loved to be a fly on the wall at that funeral! Goodness knows who would have been coming out of the woodwork, blimey!
OVienna · 14/09/2021 18:42

How many were 'set up' in flats, that is!

ERFFER · 14/09/2021 18:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsTSwift · 14/09/2021 19:23

My Dh has met several men like that at his cycling club. Wealthy 50 something men they dump same age first wife and teens for a perky 30 something. Wahey!! Then - no shit - perky thirty something wants a baby…Cue much hand wringing moaning and wailing to fellow male cyclists that they have ended up back where they started but back to soft play and nappies😁 ha ha ha

Ahardyfool · 14/09/2021 19:30

I’ve had this at a Horsey place (trying not to out myself as he told me in strictest confidence Hmm )

He’s early 20s I’m approaching 50. I’m overweight and quite tedious from a 20 something’s perspective but…oh no… he doesn’t see a future for them together and he chose to tell me this one night when I was the only one there… sigh

MargotsBumpyNight · 14/09/2021 19:52

'I can take you places, baby!'

I was a 16 year old virgin and thought he meant clubbing.

MargotsBumpyNight · 14/09/2021 19:58

'We're splitting up. I'm looking for my own place'
OK, so call me when you move?

Never here from him again but see pics of him on insta a few months later with his wife and newborn baby.

PyongyangKipperbang · 14/09/2021 20:07

Not always older men.

Just last week I had a man who (I made a point of telling him) was the same age as my SON trying to pick me up. He has "always loved older women as they 'get' me in a way younger women dont" Really? Or is that younger women wont look at you twice because you are full on creep who made my skin crawl and you think that because I am "old" I must be desperate? Tbh thinking about it since I am feeling that there is a real Incel thing going on in his head..... I dont know why I think that but I would never be alone with him.

Shame really as I really fancied the work mate he was with who is the same age as me!

frerecoler · 14/09/2021 20:26

Ugh. Yup. My sleaze bag landlord (20 years older than myself) had a sudden interest in a) my mum b) my sister and c) my lesbian best friend.

Then proceeded to tell me that he had bought a butt plug.

Envy
lilstarr99 · 14/09/2021 20:26

@MrsScrubbithatescleaning

Screenshot the texts and send them to his poor wife.

There’s probably no point referring it to HR because unless he commits a serious criminal offence that they can refer to the police, they won’t do anything about entitled lecherous male staff.

I disagree. This is sexual harassment and HR should definitely deal with it. Inappropriate comments to a colleague is not a acceptable - ever!
Betty65 · 14/09/2021 20:38

Sadly some women really do...or are so desperate they don’t care...

PyongyangKipperbang · 14/09/2021 20:44

The thing is, some women have either been unlucky with the men they have been with or out of the game for a while and lap it up when someone tells them "I know I am married but I have never felt like this about anyone" and all the flattery etc They want it to be true so they believe that it is, even though I suspect deep deep down they know it isnt.

Bobsyer · 14/09/2021 20:50

I think a lot of young women fall for this shit because they literally don’t have the life experience (or a handy forum like Mumsnet Wink) to know it’s all a line. Some of them will, sure, but I know there was a lot I put up with as a teen and younger 20-something that I wouldn’t entertain for a second now.

panauchocolat · 14/09/2021 21:13

What is NAMALTS ?

This thread is hilarious. I’m reading from beginning to end and wondering if my middle aged DP use one of these scripts with his young office coleagues … not that I care - take it pls 🤣
We all know them really well, don’t we ?
I’m glad to see women united though.

Aliceclara · 14/09/2021 21:25

Best (worst) line I ever got from an older (45) married bloke when I was 18...

"If I was single, you'd be pregnant"

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