Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

The Tedious Married Man's Script

278 replies

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 13/09/2021 01:21

Bloke I work with - I have always really liked him and never had any creepy vibes off him. Appeared to be good at his job, pleasant company and if he did mention his wife it was in a nice way.

Tonight, texts around tea time about work stuff. Turned into "my wife doesn't understand me"

Yawn.

Honestly, does he think it's original? I'm nearly 50. Been hearing this shit from married me for 35 years. Yawn.

OP posts:
Itawapuddytat · 13/09/2021 12:52

20-something years ago, I was the interpreter for a group of businessmen ( not in UK), all of them in their forties-fifties. All nice, polite and friendly. On the day-before-last one of them pulled me on the side and says something along these lines: "Look, I am married and I have children in my own country, but if I have a girlfriend here that I can see regularly [this group had connections with the local businesses] I will look after her very well and I won't let her regret this a single moment". I was in my early twenties, looking great, had just graduated Uni and about to start my first full time job (as a teacher!) , single (and very much NOT LOOKING ). Why on Earth did he think the position of "girlfriend to an almost fifty year old businessman, married , with children, nothing to look at from any point of view" could make me jump with joy and say "yes, please, where/how do I sign up for this"?

Of course, I turned him down very politely even though I almost burst into laughter and wanted to ask him "do you think I am really desperate or that I am a prostitute? Either way the answer is still no, creep!"

DrSbaitso · 13/09/2021 12:58

@Bluue

Tbf women can be just as bad and desperate. Dh knew a woman through work and she sent him a gif of a couple fucking, apparently because she'd 'fucked up the diy' Confused.
They can be, but they're usually not.
RealBecca · 13/09/2021 13:02

@NCBlossom what a shithead your ex was.

They hide in plain sight dont they.

Yeah, she doesnt understand why her husband is texting other women and neither do we!!

Oh yes, please let me get into bed with a man who cant communicate to his wife ans looks for a side shag. Please pick me!! Im so flattered!

Moonface123 · 13/09/2021 13:12

My neighbour is the worst, told me him and his wife are "more like brother and sister" , he makes a nuisance of himself when she's not around. I no longer answer the door, and l have to make sure l do all my gardening jobs before he gets home from work. He has a caravan in his back garden, told me he sleeps in there in the summer......with the door open. Lucky old me, is he expecting me to pole vault over the fence? I absolutely cannot stand him and feel sorry for his wife, who works 12 hour shifts.

flibberyjibbery8 · 13/09/2021 13:15

Honestly, this kind of tripe makes me wonder why I repressed my sexuality for so long and actually CHOSE men and willingly ignored that I was attracted to women. Nothing clamps me shut faster than a man these days.

Bearnecessity · 13/09/2021 13:18

'If I had my time again I wouldn't have got married'.......ye olde chestnut that came my way from a persistent married trier who likes to pretend he is happily married for appearances....

user1493423934 · 13/09/2021 13:21

@NCBlossom
What shit your ex was.
Yes - why do some women fall for it and believe everything sleazyman says? Hmm

ememem84 · 13/09/2021 13:38

@Thelnebriati

Him - "my wife doesn't understand me" Me speaking clearly and loudly - ''Have you tried speaking more clearly and loudly?
😂
mrspitt · 13/09/2021 13:42

A guy in the gym that I hadn't seen for a while....
me: not seen you in a while?
Him: yeah we're going through a hard time, my wife has breast cancer and has just had a mastectomy
Me: oh I'm so sorry to hear that, that's awful for her
Him: yeah, so I was thinking...when can I take you out?
Fucking speechless!!!

DrSbaitso · 13/09/2021 13:45

@mrspitt

A guy in the gym that I hadn't seen for a while.... me: not seen you in a while? Him: yeah we're going through a hard time, my wife has breast cancer and has just had a mastectomy Me: oh I'm so sorry to hear that, that's awful for her Him: yeah, so I was thinking...when can I take you out? Fucking speechless!!!
"I'll take you out right now. With the kettlebells."
whatthejiggeries · 13/09/2021 13:48

You've still got it though 😂😂 he's a twat

Itawapuddytat · 13/09/2021 13:53

@mrspitt

A guy in the gym that I hadn't seen for a while.... me: not seen you in a while? Him: yeah we're going through a hard time, my wife has breast cancer and has just had a mastectomy Me: oh I'm so sorry to hear that, that's awful for her Him: yeah, so I was thinking...when can I take you out? Fucking speechless!!!
Shock Envy Shock Angry
Gennever · 13/09/2021 13:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

ClawedButler · 13/09/2021 13:59

WOW. That's....that's another level.

Nothing like masectomy and cancer chat to get us in the mood for a pill-assisted sweaty bonk, eh ladies.

ClawedButler · 13/09/2021 14:00

You married him though.... the bitterness disguised as 'emancipated braying' is cringeworthy to say the least.

I'm presuming he wasn't a balding Porn-hub moth when she married him though.

vivainsomnia · 13/09/2021 14:04

They don't have MN, so need to rant elsewhere!

RickOShay · 13/09/2021 14:07

@Gennever
Just looking for my crystal ball

LadyOfLittleLeisure · 13/09/2021 14:11

@mrspitt

A guy in the gym that I hadn't seen for a while.... me: not seen you in a while? Him: yeah we're going through a hard time, my wife has breast cancer and has just had a mastectomy Me: oh I'm so sorry to hear that, that's awful for her Him: yeah, so I was thinking...when can I take you out? Fucking speechless!!!
What the actual fuck????
Bluue · 13/09/2021 14:11

'They can be, but they're usually not.'

True not all women are like that, just as not all men are like that. However, I know friends of both sex who receive explicit texts from random people at work who are in relationships and know the recipient is, the cliche that it is just 50yr old pervy men is false. There are many, many women leering and flirting with married men to boost their poor self esteem.

This thread should be called 'The Tedious, Desperate Married Person's script'.

UniversalAunt · 13/09/2021 14:14

‘ I’d be tempted to reply ‘work it out with a relationship therapist.’’

Don’t hesitate, just say it.
It usually shuts them up.

Particularly if you say with an arched brow of a knowing Auntie.

DrSbaitso · 13/09/2021 14:15

@Bluue

'They can be, but they're usually not.'

True not all women are like that, just as not all men are like that. However, I know friends of both sex who receive explicit texts from random people at work who are in relationships and know the recipient is, the cliche that it is just 50yr old pervy men is false. There are many, many women leering and flirting with married men to boost their poor self esteem.

This thread should be called 'The Tedious, Desperate Married Person's script'.

Try it on a site filled almost entirely with men and see how it compares in terms of hatefulness, entitlement and depth of graphic description.
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 13/09/2021 14:17

I'm going to say it - there obviously are women who fall for their tired old bollocks though!

Who are they? Are they just insecure young women who are flattered that an older man (presumably with at least some money) finds them more attractive than the wife? I can't imagine they're all conniving "ha ha, I stole yr man!" types! So WHY do they fall for it?

Anyone know?

StaceysmomandIhavegotitgoinon · 13/09/2021 14:20

Ex next door neighbour, fat, bald, in his 60's. Wife with stage four lung cancer. Me getting out of my car about a thousand years pregnant and by then very single. Over to me he comes to open my door like a gent and then hit me with 'I really want to take you to bed as I know how horny women get when pregnant'. Im available day and night because WIFE doesnt notice when I leave the house.

He moved away shortly after the wife died. I am still not the better of it.

NChelpforDH2021 · 13/09/2021 14:21

@Bluue

'They can be, but they're usually not.'

True not all women are like that, just as not all men are like that. However, I know friends of both sex who receive explicit texts from random people at work who are in relationships and know the recipient is, the cliche that it is just 50yr old pervy men is false. There are many, many women leering and flirting with married men to boost their poor self esteem.

This thread should be called 'The Tedious, Desperate Married Person's script'.

I can't roll my eyes at this enough.

Yes it does happen that women sometimes can be like this.

However, men are by far the worst perpetrators, come on now, let's not pretend otherwise.

I would bet my house that if you asked 100 men and 100 women, nearly all the women will have had comments like have been discussed on this thread, 90% or more, and flip the numbers for men receiving from women.

Also you don't specify if your friends are getting random, unsolicited explicit texts or if there has a been flirtation leading up to it, and you also don't specify if your male friends are receiving those texts from women.

DrSbaitso · 13/09/2021 14:30

@ThumbWitchesAbroad

I'm going to say it - there obviously are women who fall for their tired old bollocks though!

Who are they? Are they just insecure young women who are flattered that an older man (presumably with at least some money) finds them more attractive than the wife? I can't imagine they're all conniving "ha ha, I stole yr man!" types! So WHY do they fall for it?

Anyone know?

If the man actually is sexy, and some of them are, it's not hard to see why. Women enjoy sex and feeling good and desirable, and excitement, just as men do.

If they're not, my experience is that the women are either vulnerable without much else to turn to and the guy is doing a good job on the emotional support as they see it, or they're getting something else from the deal. Might be money, advantage at work, exciting trips away or whatever. That kind of thing can be confused for actual lust or love. It's powerful.

There are some women who love the feeling of "winning" over the wife, but I really don't think they're that common and when they do exist, it's usually about something else. For example, I knew a woman in this situation who liked to crow about how she had been "chosen" (she hadn't, he never left his wife however much he bitched about her). However, she had herself been dumped by her husband when he ran off with an OW. It wasn't actually about getting one over on the wife as much as it was about re-enacting her own devastating scenario, but this time in the other position, which she saw as more powerful. She was actually a very nice person apart from this. I felt sorry that she had such a shit picker and couldn't free herself; she was clearly reacting to trauma.

Swipe left for the next trending thread