The Tedious Married Man's Script

[vivariumvivariumsvivaria]

Bloke I work with - I have always really liked him and never had any creepy vibes off him. Appeared to be good at his job, pleasant company and if he did mention his wife it was in a nice way.

Tonight, texts around tea time about work stuff. Turned into "my wife doesn't understand me"

Yawn.

Honestly, does he think it's original? I'm nearly 50. Been hearing this shit from married me for 35 years. Yawn.

Babysitting at 16 one of our neighbours. The dad told his wife he felt ill so couldn’t go might join her later. Me putting toddlers to bed. The Dad comes down in a towel with a bottle of wine and two glasses. Starts putting the fire on in the lounge. I rang up my boyfriend to come over asap. The Dad left to go to the party . They both arrive back my boyfriend left ages ago. Wife asks why all the phones were off the hook and she couldn’t get through. Days of pre mobile. The Dad explained that I had my boyfriend there and didn’t want to be disturbed. He then had the cheek of offering to walk me home because there are strange people about . None stranger than you I quipped and declined and obvs never babysat for them again. My parents just found it funny as nothing happened and even were on speaking terms with him? Such was the acceptance of male douchebag behaviour.

Aged 23, not long finished uni, first job. Sitting in a coffee shop near my office eating lunch and reading my book.

Older bloke, maybe in his 40s, starts chatting to me about the book. We have an interesting discussion about various books we both know. Fine.

Next day, he is already there at lunch, he offers to buy me coffee. Naive little me, who has only had one boyfriend all through uni and never had much other male attention is flattered and we chat for a bit. Then he says that he only lives across the road and has some books I might like, would I like to come over and have a look? Not right now, I have to get back to work.

No worries, maybe tomorrow?

OK, yeah, sure. Being a complete bookworm, I genuinely thought he was going to lend me books!

Tomorrow comes, we go across to his flat. Before we've even got in the door, he's trying to kiss me. I push him away, what are you doing etc etc, he laughs and says did I really think he just wanted to talk about books with a pretty little thing like me? Pretty? Little? I was very much neither of those things.

I managed to get away and never saw him again, but good grief, how desperate must he have been to have spent that much time and energy to get me into his flat? Thank fuck we hadn't got very far into the room - I may not have made it out.

I was gutted though, I didn't dare go back to the shop, and it was the only coffee shop near my office and I had to eat lunch in the car (no cafeteria at work and I wasn't allowed to eat at my desk - customer facing) for a long time, which wasn't much fun in the middle of winter!

Two recurring themes in this thread: Men thinking it's fine to dump their emotional issues (real or not) onto women they aren't close to and men purposely leaving out vital information and then blaming the woman for not knowing this. Such turn ons.

On my wedding day the photographer asked if I wanted some extra photos done 'For the new husband'. He told me he could 'do some for free?'
Ok mate 😨

JayoftheRed

That’s awful because it was you that got punished for his bad behaviour but I can understand why u never wanted to bump into him again .
I worked in a sandwich shop as a student husband and wife team . The husband would come up behind me and put his arms through so around me to demonstrate how to scrape the topping off yesterdays sandwiches to make the free garlic bread to go with soup. So much about that was so wrong 🤮 I only worked one shift never to return.

Read on here a few years ago the brilliant come back ‘ i have already got one arsehole in my knickers, i don't need another one thanks’

I expect she understands him all too well.

And the third and general recurring theme is men thinking that they are somehow entitled to sex, and if they're not getting enough at home then they should be able to have some "on the side" with whoever will let them.

Really sodding unbelievable how damn entitled they all are.

It's the laziness too. No courtship, no effort. I know that's not the most important point but it just adds to the overall picture of women being there for convenient servicing and no interest in any reciprocity, except maybe money...and even that's no effort, it's just a purchase.

This made me giggle and think of this thread.

I think it’s psychologically unhealthy that some men get so intimate so quickly with strangers. Intimacy is about bonding for long term relationships. It’s like that as evolution wise we need family units to stick together for safety and wellbeing.

I wonder if they believe the ‘myth’ that men are wired to ‘seed’ as many children as they can with as many women as they can. There’s no evidence for that. And it’s doesn’t make them a ‘player’ which we jokingly call men who do it, it’s just cringey and shows there is something wrong with their ability to bond.

@DrSbaitso

It's the laziness too. No courtship, no effort. I know that's not the most important point but it just adds to the overall picture of women being there for convenient servicing and no interest in any reciprocity, except maybe money...and even that's no effort, it's just a purchase.

Yeah the throw away ‘compliments’ that are expected to just be a ticket to sex. Really cold. The opposite of how I see a great sexual encounter, which has genuine passion, connection.

My Ex, fairly revealingly, told me with quite a lot of bitterness that ‘women just had to go out and they could have sex with anyone’. He was the Ex who cheated with many women. I wonder if some of it was about being really cross that he couldn’t just have sex any night he chose with a random woman, and so he went out to prove that he could.

I told him that most women wouldn’t, because why would we want mediocre sex with different men all the time? Why is that the goal? Isn’t a loving bond the ultimate goal (with a bit of fun getting there).

@Moelwynbach

My favourite has been from a man saw for one week aged 17. " You are the one that got away, I feel so weighed down by life"

For fucks sake Martin jog on.

That made me laugh very loudly.

Yup @NCblossom It’s also that sex is usually good for men, but not always for women. So for them there’s low risk and high entitlement in seeking it randomly, but we can usually evaluate how selfish a lover Mr “Alright Darling?”is going to be. They don’t get that.
I’m not grateful for being negged by an arse then told “its your lucky night” because a) arse and b) a night of him trying to tune in Radio 5Live on my nipples followed by a few minutes of being a deluxe grunty wank toy strangely doesn’t appeal.

Ha ha! @TheWinterSmoulderSo true. A lot of bad sex around and tuning of nipples - bleurgh! Even if it is ‘wall to wall cock’ as a previous poster said (and will stay with me forever!)

It's a draft, what would you add?

Well, in an idea world I'd add the "SNAP!" of a mousetrap held under the table for unwary wandering hands...

This thread has brought back the unpleasant memories of a temp job in a sales dept when I was 19 where it was made clear that women who got promoted in that department when they slept with the director. Imagine him if you will: sweaty, vastly overweight - straining buttons on his cheap shirt and all, balding, with what hair he has was plastered to his head with a mixture of sweat and grease, and an air of entitlement because he knows promotion rights lie in his grubby hands. I was gutted when the job ended but 20-odd years later I thank my lucky fucking stars.

I worked in the City for a good while, where you used to see the men buying two of whatever it was in the jewellers or at La Perla at Christmas: one for the wife and one for the mistress. Even amongst men that you'd not look twice at in the dark, office affairs were rife and I can only assume it was the amount of money they brought in that protected them. The women involved were much lower down the ladder, so they'd be quietly managed out if it got awkward because of course all these guys were married. I was in my 20s at the time and thought it was all just how it was. We had one guy in our office - perfectly nice, we're still acquaintances - but he ran a harem of women and said he had an open marriage. I've often wondered if his wife was of the same view...

I can’t believe the sheer chutzpah of these blokes. I can’t imagine trying it on with a bloke 20/30 years my junior. Who do they think they are?! The confidence astounds me!

I've often heard men say that rejection is part and parcel of being a man and being expected to make the first move, so a lot of them have learned not to be too fazed by it. They'd never have any success at all if they didn't make approaches.

@Cherrysoup

I can’t believe the sheer chutzpah of these blokes. I can’t imagine trying it on with a bloke 20/30 years my junior. Who do they think they are?! The confidence astounds me!

Male sexual entitlement.

It's a thing.

It's not just entitlement tho is it. It's entitlement gone needy/whiney. I don't really mind a bloke chancing his arm if he takes a knockback without complaining. It's the ones that get all down about it that fuck me off.

There's literally wall to wall cock if you need it as a woman. Do men really think we want to have another woman's dregs.
😂😂😂
This! The amount of posters on here, hourly, typing out paragraph after paragraph about some bog standard shite male, agonising on how to keep the cock in her house is fucking embarrassing. Open your door, trip over hordes of desperate cock. It’s not difficult 🤣

It’s just insulting that these substandard, flaccid, dirty specimens think they appeal to anyone 😂 ‘my wife doesn’t understand-‘ cool story bro, time for your Horlicks, bye.

@vivariumvivariumsvivaria

So fucking disappointing.

Must not have occurred to him to just have an angry wank like an adult.

Hahaha 😂

@NowEvenBetter
Thank you so so much for ‘hoards of desperate cock’. That will keep me going all day

@MeAndDebbieMcGee

It's not just entitlement tho is it. It's entitlement gone needy/whiney. I don't really mind a bloke chancing his arm if he takes a knockback without complaining. It's the ones that get all down about it that fuck me off.

The ones who get angry when rejected are much much worse. It's scary how quickly a man can go from charming convincingly or otherwise and friendly bleurgh when they're trying to get into your knickers, to hostile, aggressive and sometimes downright threatening when they don't get their way. How DARE we shun their advances?

My friend and I were out one day in our twenties (not yesterday!) for a much needed catch up & we were both really looking forward to it & having a great time until these two blokes started trying it on. They just wouldn't get the message when we said we weren't interested, until it got to the point were we had to say 'look, will you please just leave us alone?' INSTANT verbal abuse - we were all the cunts and stuck up bitches of the day. Horrible.