Page 3 | The Tedious Married Man's Script

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 2021-09-13T00:21:11+00:00

Bloke I work with - I have always really liked him and never had any creepy vibes off him. Appeared to be good at his job, pleasant company and if he did mention his wife it was in a nice way. Tonight, texts around tea time about work stuff. Turned into "my wife doesn't understand me" Yawn. Honestly, does he think it's original? I'm nearly 50. Been hearing this shit from married me for 35 years. Yawn.

Moelwynbach · 13/09/2021 08:03

@MaudebeGonne
Loved that film and you made me laugh🤣

MrsScrubbithatescleaning · 13/09/2021 08:05

Screenshot the texts and send them to his poor wife.

There’s probably no point referring it to HR because unless he commits a serious criminal offence that they can refer to the police, they won’t do anything about entitled lecherous male staff.

AnyFucker · 13/09/2021 08:12

Some women must fall for it. It’s the scattergun approach…keep trying and eventually you will get that sweaty leg over.

HelloMissus · 13/09/2021 08:16

I’m laughing so so hard at this thread.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 13/09/2021 08:18

Just tell him to stop being inappropriate. Nip it in the bud.

Sagaz · 13/09/2021 08:20

@AnyFucker

Some women must fall for it. It’s the scattergun approach…keep trying and eventually you will get that sweaty leg over.

ha ha, the sweaty leg.

beigebrownblue · 13/09/2021 08:21

@Guineapigbridge

The reason men go for younger women is that the ones who've been around a bit longer are wise to all their bullshit.

Love this comment. Can I borrow it?

ThePlumVan · 13/09/2021 08:25

Yeah, I'd be snapping you up pal, you're absolutely beyond alluring to a 19 year old temp. Can't wait to become embroiled in your custody arrangements while you pick me up in your volvo and we hang out in a dodgy pub.
I'm there.

beigebrownblue · 13/09/2021 08:27

@HelloMissus

I’m laughing so so hard at this thread.

Me too. I'm in the final stages of getting divorce settlement after x years.

It had been really getting me down, so I needed a laugh and reminding that YES, YES, YES I am WAY better off without HIM

OnwardsAndSideways1 · 13/09/2021 08:35

47 and single... kids grown up - wow you're hot for your age... oh and the best one - many a good tune played on an old fiddle!!

This really made me laugh, thanks!

justnippingoutwillbe5mins · 13/09/2021 08:38

loving this thread

Original poster

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 13/09/2021 08:48

He actually told me that his wife "retired after our youngest was born".

That's right, slag off a woman at me and see if my knickers fall off, mate. A woman who has been raising your kids because you work all the hours that you can and the net result of that seems to be that you have mistaken yourself for an Emperor without his rightful harem.

I'm so CROSS. I usually have a really good creep-dar, and this one was stealth.

His last message finishes by calling me Principessa. I'm a 50 year old, slightly cynical, definitely irritable woman trying to battle the patriarchy and my spanx, not a princess waiting for her prince to come and take me away from all this.

Yuk.

OP posts:

LadyOfLittleLeisure · 13/09/2021 08:57

I would have thought that it was laughable these men would think this would work but I guess it must do or the approach wouldn't be tried so often 🤷‍♀️🤮

EatSleepRantRepeat · 13/09/2021 09:01

Is there some midlife crisis website that gives men the script, or do we think their usual male specialness makes them think its their own unique idea? It's so wearing, especially as most of us know someone (if not ourselves) working their arses off to enable their husbands to mope and complain and leer at the young women in the office.

monicacat · 13/09/2021 09:02

His wife probably understands him very well

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 13/09/2021 09:04

Are you going to tell him to knock it off?
Take screenshots of all the messages.

Twolostsoulsswimminginafishbow · 13/09/2021 09:06

This belongs in classics, so many responses that nail it.

IceLace100 · 13/09/2021 09:07

@vivariumvivariumsvivaria

He actually told me that his wife "retired after our youngest was born".

That's right, slag off a woman at me and see if my knickers fall off, mate. A woman who has been raising your kids because you work all the hours that you can and the net result of that seems to be that you have mistaken yourself for an Emperor without his rightful harem.

I'm so CROSS. I usually have a really good creep-dar, and this one was stealth.

His last message finishes by calling me Principessa. I'm a 50 year old, slightly cynical, definitely irritable woman trying to battle the patriarchy and my spanx, not a princess waiting for her prince to come and take me away from all this.

Yuk.

You are life goals.

ancientgran · 13/09/2021 09:08

@vivariumvivariumsvivaria

I'm photogenic in exactly the same way as an erupting volcano.

Red hot. Probably a menopausal flush.

I'm jealous of the photogenic bit. We had photos done at work once, they were making a new brochure. The photographer said he'd photographed pieces of wood that looked more alive than I did.

I am not photogenic at all but it was a harsh message.

KloppsTeeth · 13/09/2021 09:09

I love this thread.

I remembered one from back in the day. My boss’s brother: “My wife used to have pert and beautiful bosoms like yours before she had kids. I’d give anything to her my hands on those”.

“Bosoms” ffs. Yeah of course John, I’m 22 and you’re a 50 year old creeper. Your wife is lovely, and she works hard. Give anything? How about a court case involving a claim for sexual harassment in the workplace and an expensive divorce?

DrSbaitso · 13/09/2021 09:11

That's right, slag off a woman at me and see if my knickers fall off, mate.

As I get older, I am actually astonished at how many men think that women all hate each other and are in constant competition for male attention. They truly think that if they try to play us off against each other like this, we will fall right into it because we always want to get one up on other women. For them, of course.

There have been so many occasions when I've not got on with another woman and men have decided we are just in competition. One of them hit on me by saying, "You've nothing to worry about, you're much better looking", leading me to splutter, "My issue with her is that she's a workplace bully!!!"

I strongly suspect that after that, he decided I was just pre menstrual.

DrSbaitso · 13/09/2021 09:13

The photographer said he'd photographed pieces of wood that looked more alive than I did.

Side note: that's a very bad photographer. They're supposed to make subjects feel relaxed and confident.

Sexnotgender · 13/09/2021 09:15

Urgh, gross.

It’s always so disappointing when you think they’re a nice bloke too and they come out with the same tired shit.

I bet his wife understands him fucking plenty.

CaMePlaitPas · 13/09/2021 09:16

This thread is too perfect for a Monday morning. It's going to be a great week!

When I had a married, 60 year old man pursue me as a 23 year old, I got the lines "my wife puts everyone before me" and "I wish I had met you before her" and "my wife has gone through the change, but I'd love to get you pregnant". Boke.

Where do these men find the audacity?

JellyfishandShells · 13/09/2021 09:16

I had a really weird line from two male colleagues - different times, different jobs. Both happened just as I was leaving the companies and in both cases I had had pleasant and entirely appropriate professional working relationships with them.

‘How come you and I haven’t had an affair ? ‘

Not sure what they expected my response to be (it was a nervous laugh the first time because I was young and junior and a snapped ‘ because we are both married and I am shocked you with think I would consider such a thing ‘ the second time. )

Was I supposed think regretfully of all the secret fun we could have had if they had made their moves earlier ? Instead it tainted any positive memories I might have had of them.