Page 3 | Same mum brings older siblingto parties and let's them join in

mymobileisonsilent · 2021-09-12T16:18:10+00:00

Now I know some people have to bring siblings and ask in advance. However I know this person doesn't ask, as they brought their older sibling to my child's party a few weeks ago and didn't ask. I had made packed lunches, so I didn't have extra boxes . In fact they didn't even say when arriving. The --very rude child-- then demanded lunch and a party bag, the mum was oblivious and today was style same. Today this sibling who is at least 5 years older than the birthday child took prizes when not enough for the actual friends of the birthday girl. AIBU, or should I and al parties over cater for a everyone to bring siblings?

GreyhoundG1rl · 12/09/2021 18:53

@Kuachui

I knew someone who had an extra 17 guests.... Because of siblings In her house/garden 😂😂 I would have kicked them all out, someone even brought 4 siblings ranging from 1 to 14 to the 8yr olds party

You must know some very strange people

. If I knew anyone this stupid I wouldn't be inviting any of their offspring to a party.

Lennybenny · 12/09/2021 18:56

When my dc were little someone brought along her twins as extras. She didn't tell me at the time. I said they could stay but the food and party bags were planned for the kids attending. They did get dessert as the caterers miscounted but there wasn't an expectation of them having anything else.

You explain they aren't involved in the party. They are there to basically watch. The parents fault for bringing them.

seaandsandcastles · 12/09/2021 19:00

@liveforsummer It depends if you were a cheeky fucker or not.

If you asked if younger sibling could go and said you weren’t expecting anything for them/were willing to pay and they said yes, you were not cheeky or rude.

If you just took younger sibling without asking, you were rude and cheeky.

Cameleongirl · 12/09/2021 19:01

@GreyhoundG1rl. Yeah, I was a coward and caught on the back foot, tbh. Plus I didn’t want to say anything front in front of her children.

I asked the owner and he was nice enough to let us have an extra child join in, probably because DS was having lessons there as well.

I’ve learnt my lesson now-DS wants to go paint balling for his next birthday and we’re sticking to the numbers!

They

GreyhoundG1rl · 12/09/2021 19:02

Plus I didn’t want to say anything front in front of her children.
Yes, of course.

That's probably what the cheeky bastards bank on!

ittakes2 · 12/09/2021 19:08

I had this and the mother not only brought two older siblings but she also brought her mother. It was 30 children at a bouncy castle venue and we had discussed with parents beforehand we were only allowed 30 children due to the place's safety restrictions. Not only did these older siblings come, play and eat - my m'n'law accidentally gave them party bags so two of the actual guests missed out. My m'n'law had kindly sewn these cute bags for party bags and we had only made up what we need so she had to sew two more and we then gave them to the guests who missed out during the school week.

Mermaidpool · 12/09/2021 19:16

Named party bags given out by parent as the children are leaving. I've allowed siblings to stay and have food after invited children have had theirs

Bighousebustup · 12/09/2021 19:28

I didn’t know about this kind of thing at my daughters party, we ended up with 7 siblings 🙈 one mum to be fair to her did ask and said she would bring lunch etc for her other kids but because I knew in advance I was able to include them. I think the ones that don’t ask are super cheeky. DD’s next party is pay per head and numbers capped at a limit, there’s a lot more siblings around now so I will be interested to see what happens 🙈

Redsquirrel5 · 12/09/2021 19:28

Named bags or boxes are the way to go.

I would have asked the older siblings to sit at the side no way should they have been winning a prize that is meant for the birthday child’s friends.

I think some of this behaviour is because a lot of parents can seem to say no to their children. To me it is a life lesson and you explain it to your child. I have never taken a sibling. My best friend and I used to swap so one would take the party children while the other one had the siblings. We had 6 boys between us and then I had DD but she just mucked in with the boys. They treat her like a sister now.

GreyhoundG1rl · 12/09/2021 19:31

I would have asked the older siblings to sit at the side no way should they have been winning a prize that is meant for the birthday child’s friends.
Yes, this is the only way to stop it, really. It continues because people just shrug and accept it, no matter how annoyed they actually feel.

Moonface123 · 12/09/2021 19:48

I always think the more the merrier, this was never a problem for me and alot of the time l hosted parties solely by myself. Not everyone has a husband or partner to leave other sibling with, or an army of help.
The sibling who gets the party bag and cake is usually happy to share, or l would usually just make do with something else, like a balloon, not a big deal. l think it's abit mean to exclude siblings.

PartyStory · 12/09/2021 20:06

This happened to me as a child 20 odd years ago and ruined my birthday. Someone took their brother along that I didn’t even know which meant there wasn’t enough chairs. My mum managed to find a storage stool and gave it to me as she said she couldn’t give the worst to a guest. As the stool was so short I couldn’t see over the table and missed out on everything, even the cake being handed out. The brother took my party bag too.

Barnybrown · 12/09/2021 20:07

@ Moonface123 not everyone can afford to pay for your children to attend their child’s party just because you don’t have childcare. Parties are expensive and they are for the birthday child’s friends - it isn’t mean not to invite children who aren’t even known to the birthday child. You are about to get flamed on here - and if you are genuinely suggesting it is mean not to include siblings in parties they aren’t invited to them I think you probably deserve to!

GreyhoundG1rl · 12/09/2021 20:13

@Moonface123

I always think the more the merrier, this was never a problem for me and alot of the time l hosted parties solely by myself. Not everyone has a husband or partner to leave other sibling with, or an army of help. The sibling who gets the party bag and cake is usually happy to share, or l would usually just make do with something else, like a balloon, not a big deal. l think it's abit mean to exclude siblings.

It's absolutely fine to think the more the merrier and invite whole families along to your parties. Not fine to shoehorn extras in when the host clearly isn't of the same mindset and has invited (by name) one of your children only.

sassbott · 12/09/2021 20:14

@Moonface123, I didn’t have a partner to leave my kids with. I also didn’t expect other people to feed/ provide for my children as a result of my situation.

olidora63 · 12/09/2021 20:15

Why don’t people just drop off and pick up at end of party nowadays? I have three children who all had parties and attended parties but we never had parents or siblings at the party . I really just don’t understand why you would! I just had the grandparents and a couple of godparents to help if necessary.

CreamFirstThenJamOnTop · 12/09/2021 20:15

The parent is being very rude, I’d not blame the kid at all.

I’d clearly put on invite whether siblings are welcome or not.

I never mind if they ask first so I can accommodate the extra child and usually have enough for 1 or 2 extra party bags but not asking is rude.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 12/09/2021 20:16

@catfunk

Id make a big song and dance of 'oh I didn't realise they were coming so I haven't catered for them sorry' and would add something to the invite such as 'if you need to bring someone else along please let me know as I will be catering for invitees only otherwise' Hopefully that'll make them realise that if everyone bought an extra kid it'd double the numbers !

Far too polite. 'No' is a complete sentence, as I have learned from MN. These CFs rely on nobody saying an outright no to them. Hints won't work, politeness will be read as a sign of weakness.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 12/09/2021 20:18

@Barnybrown

@ Moonface123 not everyone can afford to pay for your children to attend their child’s party just because you don’t have childcare. Parties are expensive and they are for the birthday child’s friends - it isn’t mean not to invite children who aren’t even known to the birthday child. You are about to get flamed on here - and if you are genuinely suggesting it is mean not to include siblings in parties they aren’t invited to them I think you probably deserve to!

Agreed on all points!

starmoonsun · 12/09/2021 20:33

If pay per guest party eg trampolining then no extra siblings unless arranged directly with host in advance. If its an entertainer in a hall type then I think its fine to bring a sibling if you check first, if their close in age / young its not very nice to say they have to sit and watch. Most parents I know would over cater anyway easy to get extra crisps, biscuits etc and wouldn't expect a party bag but again lots seem to do extra or give sweets.
Also you soon learn who the cheeky parents are who tend to ask if siblings can come along. Most parents I've found often invite siblings if numbers not important anyway especially when reception/year 1 age.

Bighousebustup · 12/09/2021 20:46

I’m doing my DD’s in a hall and I’m worried people will think it’s no big deal to bring siblings, but my entertainer has a limit on how many children they can have without needing to pay for a second entertainer. Just because it’s in a hall doesn’t mean there can’t be the same cost/number restraints.

GreyhoundG1rl · 12/09/2021 20:49

If its an entertainer in a hall type then I think its fine to bring a sibling if you check first
If it was fine to bring a sibling it would be mentioned on the invitation. You don't get to decide what's fine. At least you mentioned checking first, which is good, but sometimes this just puts people on the spot and they feel awkward refusing.

GreyhoundG1rl · 12/09/2021 20:49

@Bighousebustup

I’m doing my DD’s in a hall and I’m worried people will think it’s no big deal to bring siblings, but my entertainer has a limit on how many children they can have without needing to pay for a second entertainer. Just because it’s in a hall doesn’t mean there can’t be the same cost/number restraints.

Yes, exactly that.

KingsleyShacklebolt · 12/09/2021 20:59

@IHateCoronavirus

This is so rude of people. Mostly they get away with it.

They do. Because despite all the pithy and smart-arse responses that we can all think of afterwards, in the heat of the moment, and when you're dealing with organising/running a party, you don't have the presence of mind to just ask the CF parent what the actual fuck they think they are playing at?

And CF parents know this, know they are unlikely to be called out on their cheeky fuckery, and take advantage of that.

So rude and totally unacceptable. ANY siblings whatever their age, need to be taken away and entertained elswhere. Or if it's a soft play party scenario, paid for separately, actively parented and kept well away from food/party bags.

Getawaywithit · 12/09/2021 20:59

When my dc were younger I had to bring younger dd along to any party or my older dd who was always the invitee at the time couldn't have attended. I always dropped off when I could or paid separately to ply and eat if it was somewhere like soft play it here were times I had to stay and there wasn't that option. No one ever complained but i have since worried about it seeing responses on here

I have been single for years with no real support. I always had to take my other children. I always paid entry and a meal and never expected a party bag, Seems single parents and those without support at the right times have never really been welcome. Not sure why that surprises me but it’s very sad for the children concerned.