To think I am idealising this idea? (Remote living)

[AtlasPine]

What is it really like living remotely? I dream of a house on a hillside miles from town but that’s possibly because of being in one of the busier parts of London now. Have you or do you live remotely? What are the unexpected pitfalls? Would you recommend it in practice?

@batmanladybird

No kerbside bin deliveries! What happens with rubbish?

Well there isn't a kerb for a start.

Depends on the area but most very rural bin collections are served by a little truck that goes and picks it up separately to the big bin wagons as it can better deal with narrow country lanes, rough ground, tight turning circles, marauding sheep etc.

Much like in urban areas the bin men won't always come onto your property to collect the bins so in many cases the council insist they have to be left at the nearest council owned road.

In my case that's 2 miles away.

Luckily however our bin men have a shortish round and happily come all the way to our farm yard to pick up our rubbish weekly, and our recycling once a month. Unless it snows then we have to take it down to the main road.

@BertramLacey

No kerbside bin deliveries! What happens with rubbish?

Depends. I lived somewhere with kerbside collection, so long as I deposited it at the end of a 1/4 mile track myself. Where my parents live there are communal bins that are collected periodically.

But if you buy less and are more organised, you also tend to waste less.

And you are also very aware that any rubbish you generate has to be dragged a quarter of a mile or more down a grassy boreen, which tends to make you think hard about packaging, waste etc.

It's a fucking nightmare living in the sticks. Once your children are of an age to want to do clubs/see friends you'll never leave your car. Nowhere for coffee, nowhere to walk except the same old same old woods and paths. I hate it.

Dd (our dc4) should pass her driving test soon. So we have bought her a car then I can start worrying about her driving it down shitty little narrow lanes in an area where everyone thinks drink driving is fine because the police never come. 10 miles to her school! And yes it's the nearest one.

I grew up pretty remotely. As a younger child it was brilliant but as I got older I became increasingly fed up because it stifled my independence. There was no bus route, I couldn't go to the shops independently, if I wanted to see friends I was dependent on my parents taking me and getting a part time job was a nightmare. Oh, and we had no phone signal and shitty internet.

No idea if you have kids, but if you do that's worth considering.

@Mumwithbaggage

It's a fucking nightmare living in the sticks. Once your children are of an age to want to do clubs/see friends you'll never leave your car. Nowhere for coffee, nowhere to walk except the same old same old woods and paths. I hate it.

Dd (our dc4) should pass her driving test soon. So we have bought her a car then I can start worrying about her driving it down shitty little narrow lanes in an area where everyone thinks drink driving is fine because the police never come. 10 miles to her school! And yes it's the nearest one.

Yep. Several kids from my school were killed in car accidents - one of the main reasons my parents wouldn't pay for driving lessons or a car. Then of course, the rare time I did go out and do something, I had to get a lift with teenagers who were less careful and responsible than I would have been.

Drink driving is rife in rural areas, as is drug use and excessive drinking because there's nothing else to do. I wish more people who moved rurally because 'it's great for the kids' would think about this stuff.

Fucking miserable for 8 months of the year, paradise for the other 4.
We've just moved from very rural to quiet urban because we were so isolated- anything we wanted to do was a 30 minute+ car journey, no streetlights, no road, no mains gas, no taxi, no food delivery, no delivery people could ever find it.
A battle.

Thank everyone for sharing. What a fascinating read - it has given me to much to think about.

I’m in my early 60s with adult children who are very established in their lives across different countries.

I’m leaning towards less isolation - edge of a market town perhaps - having really considered what everyone is saying. Soloisland - your life sounds incredible but I’m not sure I am practical enough or resilient enough.

I don’t care for takeaways at all but perhaps I need variety more than I have previously admitted to myself.

Thank you again and many apologies for taking so long to come back to this thread.

I think perhaps my feelings of desire for isolation are really about the increasing crime in my area of London and the impacts of COVID.

Nowhere for coffee, nowhere to walk except the same old same old woods and paths. I hate it.

I live in a small rural town which to me gets the best of both worlds, or at least aspects of both. I can go for a coffee in a local pub or cafe. There's less choice than I'd get in a city, but it's there. Or I can just have coffee at home. And I absolutely love the woods and paths. To me, they're not the same. Every day and every year, every season, they change. They have different character and moods depending on the weather and what's just happened there. I love looking out for animal tracks or spotting new plants, or just staring at some particularly beautiful leaf patterns.

Would this satisfy a teenager? Very few of them. I love it. Given your age, OP, I'd maybe consider a small town or large village with amenities you can walk to, and a bus service to the nearest civic centre. Complete isolation might not suit you long term, but something quieter than London probably would.

Drink driving is rife in rural areas, as is drug use and excessive drinking because there's nothing else to do. I wish more people who moved rurally because 'it's great for the kids' would think about this stuff

You can tell people but they don’t believe you or they think it won’t happen to them.

Or just that you are exaggerating

@Bythemillpond

Drink driving is rife in rural areas, as is drug use and excessive drinking because there's nothing else to do. I wish more people who moved rurally because 'it's great for the kids' would think about this stuff

You can tell people but they don’t believe you or they think it won’t happen to them.

Or just that you are exaggerating

They think that they'll have a calm and lovely rural life but from the posts on here it seems like there's more 'life admin' (to use an MN phrase)

I think Soloisland has been a bit disingenuous here as her posts on another thread said she was a hermit Nun, hence living in solitude, and that’s a very different situation to be looking at rural living from that of someone with a partner / kids / family to consider!

@Adarajames

I think Soloisland has been a bit disingenuous here as her posts on another thread said she was a hermit Nun, hence living in solitude, and that’s a very different situation to be looking at rural living from that of someone with a partner / kids / family to consider!

I didn’t know that she’d been a nun, but it was fairly clear to me from @SoloISland’s posts on this thread that she lived alone. And the OP only asked about living remotely, not living remotely with a family — not every decision to live remotely needs to default to a consideration of children and a partner! I made it clear I was alone in my post when I lived on an island — in fact, I had a partner, but on the mainland.

I'm in Scotland - where I am (SW rural) people do not drink and drive. It's absolutely tedious but you can probably barely have a half glass of wine without going over the limit.

Drug taking youths? I wouldn't know but I'd say they were much more likely to drive into a tree/bridge/wall and damage themselves than hit someone else. Of course there are no drug issues in cities

I'm pretty sure there are many fewer speeding crashes nowadays compared to the past. Kids aren't so obsessed with owning some souped up deathtrap. More likely a little run around.

I've found the posts by SoloIsland and others very thought provoking.

My dream would be a deserted cottage in a remote place .............but as a holiday home I'm not sure how stable my mood would be long term on my own.

@Stircraazy

I'm in Scotland - where I am (SW rural) people do not drink and drive. It's absolutely tedious but you can probably barely have a half glass of wine without going over the limit.

Drug taking youths? I wouldn't know but I'd say they were much more likely to drive into a tree/bridge/wall and damage themselves than hit someone else. Of course there are no drug issues in cities

I'm pretty sure there are many fewer speeding crashes nowadays compared to the past. Kids aren't so obsessed with owning some souped up deathtrap. More likely a little run around.

Yeah, exactly you wouldn't know. As someone who grew up in a rural area, I do know. My parents would also say there's not a drug problem in the area...they just don't know about it. Weird how you also seem to think it's not a problem for teens to take drugs as long as they don't kill anyone else. Pretty sure the average MNer wouldn't love the idea of their child taking ket in a field.

Never said there are no drug issues in cities, but there's plenty else to do, isn't there? The devil makes work for idle hands, as they say.

It's incredible how people are so determined to brush these issues under the carpet.

We love it but it can be tough, we're not crazy remote but we are rural nearest neighbours a couple of hundred metres away.

Earlier this year snowed in for 5 days.

Earlier this week water leak in field from metal pipe connection (water supply is from spring.

Mainly great and everything you hoped for, sometimes a total pig.

Yeah, exactly you wouldn't know

Well DS was brought up in the countryside, he's 30 now, as was I.
He didn't take drugs and he and his friends drove carefully (to my surprise).
I'm in the country now, same area. I would say it's a class thing. Middle class kids are ok, the ones with parents taking drugs well, the kids are probably in trouble. I know many teachers, drugs doesn't come up much as it isn't the major problem.

There is definitely a drug problem but not particularly bored teens.

I would say it's a class thing. Middle class kids are ok, the ones with parents taking drugs well, the kids are probably in trouble.

That's a pretty naive viewpoint. Drug use is commonplace among teenagers, regardless of their family situation. You may not have encountered it with your son, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen.

@Stircraazy

Yeah, exactly you wouldn't know

Well DS was brought up in the countryside, he's 30 now, as was I.
He didn't take drugs and he and his friends drove carefully (to my surprise).
I'm in the country now, same area. I would say it's a class thing. Middle class kids are ok, the ones with parents taking drugs well, the kids are probably in trouble. I know many teachers, drugs doesn't come up much as it isn't the major problem.

There is definitely a drug problem but not particularly bored teens.

It's definitely not a class thing. I'm not being funny but how would you really know? Do you think teens who take drugs tell their parents they're doing it? Most of them have absolutely no idea.

I'm not saying it's everyone, BTW, but it's enough of a thing to be something I'd worry about if I lived rurally and had teenagers.

@AtlasPine

Thank everyone for sharing. What a fascinating read - it has given me to much to think about.

I’m in my early 60s with adult children who are very established in their lives across different countries.

I’m leaning towards less isolation - edge of a market town perhaps - having really considered what everyone is saying. Soloisland - your life sounds incredible but I’m not sure I am practical enough or resilient enough.

I don’t care for takeaways at all but perhaps I need variety more than I have previously admitted to myself.

Thank you again and many apologies for taking so long to come back to this thread.

I live on the edge of a small town, not a market town though, quite a new town built around a village. I am literally the last house in town. Out of the front door is civilisation, I can walk to the supermarket, dentist, doctor, library or school all 1 mile away or catch a bus. The nearest city is about 7 miles away. Out of the back door is a small wood and farm land, loads of bridleways and tracks to walk, I can see the sea 5 miles away. There are two country parks about 2 miles away in each direction which I often walk to.

It really feels like a good compromise. We spend a lot of time in SW Scotland and dream of moving there but in reality I think I would find it too remote to be there permanently. I grew up in a village and hated it as a teen so am scared I will return to that feeling in old age.

The thread is useful to identify where we fall on that scale of hermit to townie!

When i research places to retire to, i need to know there's a bus /coach / train to dublin at least 4 times a day minimum, that's my cut off. Agree with poster who needs to be able to walk somewhere for a coffee. I need that too. And i want to ask for soy milk and not get a quizical response. I realise now that going for a walk and meeting nobody sounds soulless to me. Useful to know this. There are beatiful places by the sea with lovely thriving villages and good transport links, but hey, a lot of people feel how i feel and they're all expensive... I occasionally research the f_€k out of location and then rule it out when i talk to somebody who knows the place firsthand!

Really enjoying this thread, especially the posts from @SoloISland. My parents spent their time ferrying me into the countryside, very remote places as I had a very outdoor solitary hobby.
I would have loved it
They always joke I need to live on my own in the middle of nowhere
Horses for courses I guess

@Mantlemoose

It's very lonely and isolating. Winter is very harsh. Honestly its not all its cracked up to be.

Pondering the while. It is far far more and far richer and mre fulfilling than it is cracked up to be.. IF you adapt to its reality and do not see it as still living exactly as you were before you left the city..

If it is right for you then it is a sheer wonder and a deeply happy an rich place to be.

I quit because of rhe negativity in the thread by folk who clearly were unsuited to remote life and really were not in the right fit of a place,

Much as I would and do shudder at the mere thought of living in a town or village .. DREADFUL THOUGHT

We are each and all different.

Winter is a challenge. No more than that. I love and enjoy it far more than I do summer. Lighting the stove ever day; bringing in turf and coal.. Bliss...

But then deep rural isolation is my bit of heaven on earth.

Lonely? Nah. It you are not happy with your own company..
Been taking time out and going back into my wondrously isolated remote haven...

I waited decades for this and it is far far more rewarding and happy that even I thought it would be. BUT I did not try to bring all my baggage into this. My life here is in deep simplicity. It has made me more complete and at peace than I ever hoped to be..

OK: I a,m off... on my remote and peaceful island. Blissfully isolated.

The thread is useful to identify where we fall on that scale of hermit to townie

I'm both! 😂 It's much easier to be alone in a place that's anonymous, rather than a place where everyone knows you. Even if that everyone consists of very low numbers.

I have considered trying to find a cave - but I like my internet too much...