To think I am idealising this idea? (Remote living)

[AtlasPine]

What is it really like living remotely? I dream of a house on a hillside miles from town but that’s possibly because of being in one of the busier parts of London now. Have you or do you live remotely? What are the unexpected pitfalls? Would you recommend it in practice?

@Malin52

I don't even live that rurally but things I never thought about were:

• tradespeople: rarely in the locale and if they are then they are expensive and impossible to book. Shower not working? Electricity suddenly off? 3 week wait before someone will come to 'look'
• so hard for people to visit if you are miles from train stations etc. also don't expect to pop to a fiends house unless you fancy a major expedition. Ime people just say it's too far to visit.
• run out of milk? 40 mins there and back in the car. You have to be so organised.
• you need a car that can cope with extremes of weather and potential terrain. These are usually expensive to run

Plenty more that have already been mentioned.

As I have posted, we get instant attention in power cuts - far faster than on the mainland. ESB our power people have a fine reputation well deserved. And not a huge disaster to be without for a while. Minor really. Ditto a shower; washing is easy enough.

Milk? I keep dried in and that is fine. Milk also freezes well.

And running out if milk is hardly a real problem? A minor thing. .

Yes organised and that becomes second nature. It really does
And that actually is a large part of the appeal ; taking full responsibility for your life and welfare. Not sweating the small stuff

I could list dozens of really hard things re city life but they are not my problem now and never will be.. Thankfully.. Worst is the loneliness in crowded places. Shudders. Faces in a crowd. Impersonal passers by.

But each to their own. Nothing folk have listed here exists as a real problem, Assuming the post re walking six miles to buy frozen peas was a hoax... lol...

I am in the countryside. small village nearby. I think having a mix of incomers and long term residents is the best to avoid gossip, make friends.

Depends on your definition of remote, but we live on a small island (3 sq miles) with a population of about 1900. Food is delivered once a week on a big boat, which is regularly unable to dock.
Everyone knows everyone: so you'll be greeted by name in the street, but there's no avoiding the awful ones either.
Amazon deliver here (though not next day) which maintains some sanity but if you want something you can't find on the island, getting off the island is very challenging, particularly in winter.

It's an adventure, but not one we will make a lifelong commitment too.

I am a fairly introverted and self sufficient person, but living in a remote rural area (especially one with cold and windy weather) would be my idea of utter hell. I have visited and stayed on several Irish islands, and they are beautiful of course, but I like people and shops and restaurants and doing different things., so deeply rural life just sounds rubbish to me. I am lucky enough to live beside a beautiful beach, and am also 40 minutes by train to the city centre, that's much more my kind of thing. But we are all different, and thank goodness for it!

PS not sure if I mentioned this on the thread ? It only intensified what I was already living anyways.

I have serious CFS/ME. And when I asked about the illness in old age I was told by the experts that they do not know as very few live to my age and the main cause of death is overhwleming infection.
I already knew that my immune system is down
SO talked it over with faraway family and we decided to take my island solitude a stage further.
So no more outings etc and that for me when supply lines are so good, is prefect. And saved me having to replace my old car. And retake a driving test due to my age.
So when covid hit I was already in total isolation and my neighbours etc know and respect that. There is a big gate and we chat over it. Masked....
I live as an old style anchoress now. Lacking nothing. And safe in every way.
With deep and enduring pleasure..

This thread has really reaffirmed the rightness FOR ME of my chosen lifestyle. THANK YOU ALL

I basically just felt like life was happening somewhere else, and I was just wishing away all my teenage years waiting for mine to start. My last ex was from London and I felt so incredibly jealous of all the opportunities he'd had and all the memories he has from his teenage years, bonding with people who are still his best friends now, getting to play small gigs, learning who he was. I think anyone with kids should think twice before moving somewhere rural because it's honestly horrible and grim in many ways.

Sadly I don't think your experience is an uncommon one. I'd be really interested to hear from others who were teenagers living rurally. Anecdotally from those I know, it wasn't a positive experience for any of them. Primary years were fantastic. But being a teenager living rurally was for many of my friends a very difficult few years, mostly spent counting down until they could escape.

@alwayscrashinginthesamecar1

I am a fairly introverted and self sufficient person, but living in a remote rural area (especially one with cold and windy weather) would be my idea of utter hell. I have visited and stayed on several Irish islands, and they are beautiful of course, but I like people and shops and restaurants and doing different things., so deeply rural life just sounds rubbish to me. I am lucky enough to live beside a beautiful beach, and am also 40 minutes by train to the city centre, that's much more my kind of thing. But we are all different, and thank goodness for it!

lol.. absolutely all are differnet. Else it would get crowded out here.. lol...I used to visit islands wherever I was and hated leaving in the evening. Now I never leave...

But remote life IS a way of life not an address. You either love it or run for your sanity..lol…

Off to finalise my shopping list... tweaking..

@Whinge

I basically just felt like life was happening somewhere else, and I was just wishing away all my teenage years waiting for mine to start. My last ex was from London and I felt so incredibly jealous of all the opportunities he'd had and all the memories he has from his teenage years, bonding with people who are still his best friends now, getting to play small gigs, learning who he was. I think anyone with kids should think twice before moving somewhere rural because it's honestly horrible and grim in many ways.

Sadly I don't think your experience is an uncommon one. I'd be really interested to hear from others who were teenagers living rurally. Anecdotally from those I know, it wasn't a positive experience for any of them. Primary years were fantastic. But being a teenager living rurally was for many of my friends a very difficult few years, mostly spent counting down until they could escape.

I left home aged 17, for that reason. Ended up going back (long story) and staying way longer than I intended.

Opportunities where I'm from are very limited. They are improving - the internet has played a big part in that. But there is a constant concern about young people moving away and not coming back. Depopulation is an issue. There is however a huge number of people that seem to want to move there. But often the idyll that they thought they were going to doesn't match with the reality, and after a couple of years they head back to the mainland. Some do love it though.

My parents spent every school holiday somewhere fairly remote. As others have said, for a primary aged child, it was idyllic, for secondary aged less so - other than the twice weekly bus into the nearest small market town, there was no way of doing anything independently. DSis lives there now, her oldest DC is now 14. So far doesn't seem as bad for them, fibre broadband made it to the hamlet a few years ago and they spend hours on their tablet which I suspect is what they'd do in a city anyway.

We are rural but less remote. The main thing I'm noticing at the moment is how much is restricts choices about kids after school activities unless you are prepared to drive for miles.

Maybe it doesn't happen where you are. But I know people from other small communities that have moved away, and they all feel similarly to me. So it seems like your community is either the exception, or is just different if your whole family isn't part of it.

IME small communities vary hugely even within one area. I live in a small town. I mean officially it's a town but if you drove through it, you'd think it was a village. People know me but if they gossip, I'm pretty much unaware of it. The people at the grocery store know where I live and they will drop stuff off for me if they haven't got it in stock but will be getting it later that day. The next town along is a different matter though. I know people who've moved from there because of the level of prying gossip. I think in small communities a handful of people can make a big difference to your experience of the place.

I grew up in a city. I was horribly bullied and formed no enduring friendships. There's no-one from back then that I'm still in touch with. I didn't go to gigs, or pubs or do any of the things I could have done given my location. I watch teenagers near me and many of them do enjoy life round here, if they like outdoor activities. They may well have to move to work and study though.

In my 20s I enjoyed being in big cities. I think it would make me ill if I tried it now.

I would really echo everything people have said about it being rubbish as a teenager. I grew up in a tiny village, went to the village primary school, had loads of friends at the same school in the village and we had a brilliant time running riot between each other’s houses and around the countryside.
From secondary school onwards it was a bit of a nightmare. I relied on my parents for lifts everywhere and to be honest spent a lot of my time really bored, which as others have said led to mischief! I don’t think it led to any long term damage but I would have much rather have lived somewhere with a bit more going on.
Incidentally, I now live in a city and absolutely love going to visit my parents in the countryside - feels like a “weekend retreat” . Also now my mum has retired she has made an invaluable group of friends in the village, who gave her so much support (practically and socially) while she was going through cancer treatment.

I love city living but there was one time I really felt lucky to live there - when DH got cancer and was having radiotherapy every day for several weeks. The cancer hospital was only a few minutes drive away.

When I awoke this morning I could hear just one thing - a boat engine. No idea if it was half a mile away - or two miles. As someone else said up thread - it’s very calming.

Trees blowing down are not a concern, however I’m planning to plant pinus nigra and may well regret that in 20 years. the houses are built to last. I think that’s why we see such devastation in the south-east when a storm comes through -the houses just aren’t built for it. Here if a stone wall has been up for 500 years, chances are it’ll make it through this winter.

I personally don’t understand the need to be close to shops. I don’t want to go to the supermarket every day. Worked in Tesco in London when I was young - seen enough supermarkets to last me. My nearest big supermarket is 2 hours and a ferry ride away, so when I do go in I’ll call around friends and tell them to put in a click and collect to save THEM a boring job.

I was a little worried about the lady previously who said she’d be devastated and “have to leave” were her husband to die in the house. At least one person has died in this house and all I think is lucky them! And also have a feeling they’re here looking out for us.

The salt air is hard on cars, so that’s a fair expense - tip for the landlubbers- don’t ever buy a second hand car with island plates!

@CounsellorTroi

I love city living but there was one time I really felt lucky to live there - when DH got cancer and was having radiotherapy every day for several weeks. The cancer hospital was only a few minutes drive away.

I hear you. When my Dad was in hospital on the mainland for weeks at a time having treatment for cancer, I could only visit a couple of times due to the distance and cost of travel.

I am very glad you could be there for your DH.

When I awoke this morning I could hear just one thing - a boat engine

I could just hear birds. In fact I hear more birdsong where I live now than I ever heard in the place I'm from. Maybe it's the lack of trees.

I’ve really enjoyed reading everyone’s different experiences.

I have several different friends who changed their lives and live very remotely. I love vicariously sharing their adventures but still turn away with a slight shudder. When various medical emergencies cropped up, air ambulances had to take them many miles away and the delays in treatment had some significant impacts. I may be a soft urbanite, but my goodness there are advantages.

I go to the theatre six or seven times a year. I while away an afternoon at the cinema at least once a month and then browse a good book shop. I like eating in restaurants, and having a wide range of foods available. I want to be able to to get medical help when needed. A dream of a rural idyll is lovely, but in reality I choose differently.

(I still keep chickens though. Even city people can do that)

@Sagaz

This has been an interesting thread. I am happy on my own and don't need company, but yet, I need to know that other people are nearby.

I would feel terrified being on an island on my own. In fact, that was the end of a Liz Nugent book!

When I left Orkney , ie anither island, I was terrified at the realisation that anyone could get to my home. Just terrified. I felt so vulnerable. Safe again now

I could relish being alone out here as long as they did food drops etc... lol... Very practical..

@HedgeVeg

Depends on your definition of remote, but we live on a small island (3 sq miles) with a population of about 1900. Food is delivered once a week on a big boat, which is regularly unable to dock. Everyone knows everyone: so you'll be greeted by name in the street, but there's no avoiding the awful ones either. Amazon deliver here (though not next day) which maintains some sanity but if you want something you can't find on the island, getting off the island is very challenging, particularly in winter.

It's an adventure, but not one we will make a lifelong commitment too.

That is a high density population. Far too much so for me. I checked al the islands and discounted the ones like that.. lol..

We are very few here now. Very few. . Couriers do not come out here but An Post are excellent.

@Scrowy you're not selling it very well 😂

[quote EverybodyIsInteresting]@SoloISland I can only speak from my experience. Which is 45+ years of living remotely and 4 years of city living.

Maybe if it's not a place where you are born and brought up, it's different. Maybe if everyone around you don't know you and all your family.

But I am glad to be free of it. I find it stifling. I know what people say about others, I know the assumptions that are made. I was told at work a relative of mine had been killed in a car accident. He hadn't been. He was in a car accident, but he walked away with a single broken bone. When I was pregnant, people decided it was my ex's baby. It wasn't.

Where I am now, it's not free of care. People do care, people are interested. They just have enough people around and enough things happening that the kind of crap that goes on in small communities doesn't happen.

Maybe it doesn't happen where you are. But I know people from other small communities that have moved away, and they all feel similarly to me. So it seems like your community is either the exception, or is just different if your whole family isn't part of it.[/quote]
Being a small offshore island with a tiny populations makes a difference.

An d I am not in touch with anyone socially out here. I do what small kindnesses I can remotely and support the local community like that.

No it has not been all sweetness and light; no community ever is. But I weathered a few issues early on with calm and efficiency and am left in peace now.

Weathering all the snags etc. I did have to call the Gardaí once so they know I will do that at need,

Being English of course.. I was quizzed about my ancestry.. lol.. And I do have Irish ancestry..

I came here with three rescued cats. Now I care for the cats left when folk die. Deep rural cats are cruelly neglected in Ireland so I quietly set that right. No reproof to them. Just do what is needful with a loving heart. Stretches my pension.. lol

My responsibility is what I think and do. Not what others think and do. Render to no man evil for evil.. I hear no gossip and say none.

And what matters to me is the sheer peace and beauty here in the life I lead. The lands and ocean. Wild flowers, birds.

Just heard the chopper; I don't think it was for here but I will check with my nearest neighbour and offer prayer and concern.

@Doomscrolling

I’ve really enjoyed reading everyone’s different experiences.

I have several different friends who changed their lives and live very remotely. I love vicariously sharing their adventures but still turn away with a slight shudder. When various medical emergencies cropped up, air ambulances had to take them many miles away and the delays in treatment had some significant impacts. I may be a soft urbanite, but my goodness there are advantages.

I go to the theatre six or seven times a year. I while away an afternoon at the cinema at least once a month and then browse a good book shop. I like eating in restaurants, and having a wide range of foods available. I want to be able to to get medical help when needed. A dream of a rural idyll is lovely, but in reality I choose differently.

(I still keep chickens though. Even city people can do that)

Air ambulance cover here is a lifesaver. Once was evacuated with internal bleeding . As soon as they answered triple nine you could hear the urgency ramping up and by the time a designated neighbour got me to the helipad the Bird was landing.
By ferry and road would have been over two hours; as it was when I lived in the Kerry mountains. Two hours to get to me then two hours to the hospital. …
The Irish Coastguard are heroes, Rescue one one six was lost with all crew not so long ago

@Doomscrolling

I’ve really enjoyed reading everyone’s different experiences.

I have several different friends who changed their lives and live very remotely. I love vicariously sharing their adventures but still turn away with a slight shudder. When various medical emergencies cropped up, air ambulances had to take them many miles away and the delays in treatment had some significant impacts. I may be a soft urbanite, but my goodness there are advantages.

I go to the theatre six or seven times a year. I while away an afternoon at the cinema at least once a month and then browse a good book shop. I like eating in restaurants, and having a wide range of foods available. I want to be able to to get medical help when needed. A dream of a rural idyll is lovely, but in reality I choose differently.

(I still keep chickens though. Even city people can do that)

A few people in my secondary school died because they had accidents (usually farm accidents) and they just couldn't get to hospital in time - the nearest A&E was well over an hour away. Quite a few others lost parents to sudden illnesses that might well have been survivable had they had a hospital nearby. The nearest maternity hospital was about 1.5 hours away so God help you if you went into early labour and something went wrong. People really just don't think about this stuff when they assume rural living is idyllic and lovely.

I'm in rural Scotland and do enjoy most of it, I town is quite apathetic to change though and are happy with outdated facilities and run down buildings. Sometimes motivating the school to make changes is exhausting and it's very isolating at times. Other than that it is wonderful.

[quote hellcatspangle]@Scrowy you're not selling it very well 😂[/quote]
Just trying to be realistic

In reality I love living rurally but the difference for me is that other than a short stint at a city university (which I also liked but found my self craving wide open spaces too much to stay)I've always lived rurally remotely so it runs through me like writing through rock. All those things on my list are as routine for me as locking the doors would be for someone in the city.

I've also seen lots of people come and go over the years in nearby remote properties wanting this life but finding the reality isn't what they were expecting. Some stay a decade or so but very few stay 'forever'.

People always think they will like the remoteness because they think it is all about pretty countryside and no neighbours. The 'difficulties' like frequent power cuts sound like fun adventures, and probably are the first few times. Then it becomes an irritation and the rot starts to set in.

The saddest bit for me is how many people move to a rural area and then try and change it. Complain about tractors working, mud on the roads, smell, people being 'unfriendly' in the pub or the local shop. Those people are always the ones in the converted barn conversions and the ex farmhouses who shut themselves away and treat the locals as if they were straw chewing thickos.

The people who move into the local village and throw themselves into village life and embrace things the way they are find themselves very quickly considered part of the community no matter what colour/background they are.

Love this thread!