To think I am idealising this idea? (Remote living)

[AtlasPine]

What is it really like living remotely? I dream of a house on a hillside miles from town but that’s possibly because of being in one of the busier parts of London now. Have you or do you live remotely? What are the unexpected pitfalls? Would you recommend it in practice?

It's very lonely and isolating. Winter is very harsh. Honestly its not all its cracked up to be.

We're 15km from the nearest town and we love it. How remote do you mean, exactly?

We're 3 hours from a city and 45 minutes from the next similar sized town. Winters are harsh, it is isolating and shops are extremely limited. Our nearest Aldi and Lidl are at least 2 hours away for example and JustEat etc are non existent. There's no supermarket deliveries either.

However, the community are great and we enjoy living here.

I think it's important to remember you won't just be inhabiting an isolated landscape, you'll be joining an isolated community. I think when people fantasise about rural leaving they don't remember to include the people.

*living

@JeanBodel

I think it's important to remember you won't just be inhabiting an isolated landscape, you'll be joining an isolated community. I think when people fantasise about rural leaving they don't remember to include the people.

This. Or think about how they might be damaging existing communities by moving .

How rural?

It really depends on what creature comforts you prioritise. The food availability when you are rural is pretty bad so if you like eg artichokes in season that’s something to think about. Plus it is hard to have friends over and chat and go home, so their is a lot of overnight hospitality.

Another thing to consider is doctors treatments and local hospitals. It’s just not the same and it can be very stressful. I know someone whose young child died tragically on one of the Scottish Islands. A helicopter was scrambled but it wasn’t fast enough. It may have been a different story but for the location.

That said if you can sort the broadband MF the heating it might be amazing.

We live in a quite secluded house in a small village 4 miles from nearest small town. So there are people around, and a shop just about 1.5 miles and a pub ditto, so walkable if you have the time. We love not being surrounded by people but then we’re both quite antisocial. But yes, winter is long and muddy. Beer and haircuts are cheaper, but we spend a fortune on petrol/diesel - in London I filled my car once every 2-3 weeks here it’s every week. I don’t think I could go back to a city now.

It depends to a large extent on your personality: some people might really take to it.

But I would say that remote, rural communities always look more attractive to ta visitor than to someone who lives there.

We had family friends who lived in a seemingly idyllic house on the beach in a remote and very beautiful part of the countryside. We would visit in the summer. It was an incredible place to stay: the epitome of pastoral bliss. I later learned that the wife in the family had had a series of breakdowns because she felt so isolated for most of the year and they eventually ended up moving back to a city because she couldn't deal with it.

You don't say if you have children but I think you need to think very hard about a rural life for them. Very rural areas are great for small children, not so much for teenagers. Opportunities are more limited, schooling can be a challenge, having a social life requires a great deal of ferrying around from parents and there's often very little to do, leading to higher levels of delinquency and drug-taking.

If you live in London, do you own a car and can you drive? If you don't drive then I wouldn't even consider it.

Agree re mental health, a family member had a breakdown in part triggered we feel by rural isolation not suiting them at all.

How rural are you talking? We're in a small rural town:

• nearest hospital is a 45 minute drive.
• no UBEReats or other delivery services.
• no bus service, irregular trains (often cancelled, especially in winter and they don't run at all on Sundays or BH's), limited and expensive taxi services that need to be booked well in advance for long journeys.
• the nearest airport is three hours away
• poor roads in winter which means we're often cut off from everything. DH has numerous "snow days" each year as the roads are closed due to snow and ice or accidents.
• no cinema, bowling alley or chain restaurant within 45 minutes.
• harsh winters in terms of weather.

But there are lots of positives

• gorgeous views and loads of isolated, quiet walks and places to go
• miles of empty coastline to explore
• exceptionally dog friendly
• everyone knows everyone and helps out in an emergency or when you're stuck or in trouble
• some great local independent restaurants, pubs and cafés
• property prices are very low - you can get a 4 bed terrace with a garden for less than 80k.
• fantastic work-life balance for most.

It all depends on what you want and what sacrifices you're prepared to make to get it.

You don't say if you have children but I think you need to think very hard about a rural life for them. Very rural areas are great for small children, not so much for teenagers. Opportunities are more limited, schooling can be a challenge, having a social life requires a great deal of ferrying around from parents and there's often very little to do, leading to higher levels of delinquency and drug-taking.

I also agree with this. I moved away from a rural village just before Secondary school. My childhood was idyllic, but the friends I left behind really struggled with being so isolated as teenagers. They felt like a burden asking for lifts, and drug use / drinking was a regular activity due to boredom.

We lived about half a mile from a town. Broadband was unusable for anything more than playing prerecorded stuff... zoom, video calls etc crashed frequently. Another consideration if you are planning on WFH.

I have members of family that lived remotely for about 20 years .
It was a stunning barn conversion that they did 80% of the work themselves on .
Because was quite a long time ago so there was no such thing as supermarket / just eat / amazon delivery's , but I have no doubt even now that house wont be eligible for them .
I know there biggest issues were getting trades men to come to their home even after it was finished , it was just to far out for most to consider .
It was on a un owned road , ie the council did no repairs / no street lights / no drains .
It wasnt to bad in the summer but in the winter the road was hellish to drive on as it was steep and had a steep camber so it was very easy to slide sideways off the road and end up stuck .
They both had very good cars that were up for that kind of terrain, and had winches on them so they could rescue themselves / each other .

It was not unusual for them not to be able to leave the house for days at a time when the weather was bad .
They relied on gas and oil been delivered for heating and had a generator for electric for when the national grid failed them .
And had a septic tank that was a logistical nightmare for them to install .
All that said they loved the house and the area was absolutely stunning .

I think my biggest worry would be what would happen if I need the emergency services , with the best will in the world and everything going perfectly I recon it would take at 30/45 mins for them to get to that house

I am very rural Scotland and don't drive (still waiting for a test date). I'm lucky there's an hourly bus that passes the farm track. -6° mornings waiting there is not fun.

No neighbours is bliss but not being on mains gas/broadband can be expensive and frustrating.

I'm lucky Asdas deliver to us, even came out in the snow last year to the village where the farmers came down in tractors to collect!

I couldn't go back to city living.

for us it means:

Poor mobile phone reception (or none). We don't even get 3G let alone 4/5G
No such thing as superfast broadband
Frequent power cuts
No main sewerage system - you will be on a septic tank or similar
No 'kerbside' bin collections
You may not be on mains water - if not you require a water treatment system that requires regular filter changes
You have to drive everywhere for everything. Need a pint of milk on a Sunday afternoon = 30 mile round trip
No uber, taxis have to be booked well in advance and if the one local firm can't do it you just have to drive instead
No takeaway deliveries
Collecting a Takeaway is a 30 mile round trip - might as well just cook
Winter is just eugh, summer is never long enough
If it snows you may well not be able to leave your property for a number of days
You will need a very large freezer and well stocked pantry
Throughout winter your shoes and car will always be muddy
Delivery drivers routinely can't find your house
You can't do anything without the rest of the community knowing about it.
You will be on first name terms with the postie
Tractors are a fact of life
So are animal smells and noises - you think you won't mind either, but overwhelming new people to the countryside can really struggle with this
Moles will dig up your garden
The locals will find it very very irritating if you can't reverse
Mice

It's nice in summer
You don't have to worry about how much noise you are making or bothering the neighbours
If you make the effort you could be part of a great community

I’d hate it but to each their own.

I live rurally but not remote. Nearest pub/shop is 1.5 miles in either direction. Surrounded by farms. Can't hear or see any neighbours. However our village (5 min drive) is bustling with cafes, independent shops, a lovely pub etc and we are 25ish mins drive from Belfast. I'm from home counties and have lived in London and Belfast before.

I love:

Not ever worrying what neighbours think/about making noise
Absolutely massive house and 5 acre garden. Kids run wild and free
Enjoy general lifestyle of chopping our own wood, foraging berries and making jams etc for winter, having space in outbuildings to store
Amazing birdlife (we have our own woodland)
Scope to grow own fruits and veggies etc.
Generally feel calmer and more content
Amazing cycling/walking on doorstep
Local amenities and beauty spots are never over crowded and can always park

Dislike:
Have to drive everywhere
Some things more expensive - e.g. we are on oil for heating
We get supermarket deliveries but if something important is missing and not in village shop we have to drive 15 mins to nearest lidl or 20 to nearest big 4 supermarket
Generally just more of an event to go anywhere rather than 'popping' to Dunelm etc. Then again, felt the same in central London as public transport made getting places a bit more lengthy. Belfast was easy though
Bit harder to make friends. People here have known each other since they were kids/are family friends/related etc
Less going on in local area. Have to drive 20 mins to take an evening class or something
Only have a choice of about 3 takeaways that will deliver and 2 are miles away so much would probably be cold. Never thought I'd miss this but I do
No taxi service here! So I can't really drink out of the house!

I've thought about this too, OP. I'm an antisocial person and no longer enjoy city nightlife now I'm nearing 50.

I live in Liverpool which is getting bigger each year with lots of city centre high rises being built. This has meant the population is way more than what it used to be years ago. I lived in London for 4 years and always felt claustrophobic because of the population density, noise and pollution so I moved back home as I liked having the convenience of the city nearby but one which wasn't as big and overpopulated as London.

However, there has been a massive expansion in building in the city centre, with multiple high rises etc. I live in the suburbs but even here the population is growing as any disused buildings are converted to flats, and older larger family houses are also knocked down and replaced with boxy tiny badly designed flats. It means that what I enjoyed about the city has gone. I generally don't relish it anymore, there are people EVERYWHERE, especially in the summer when there are a lot of tourists.

Traffic flow used to be much easier than London and you could always get a seat on the train if you commuted into the city centre (and park either in the station car park or on the road outside for free). Now, you struggle to park anywhere near the station. The roads are really busy, I'm sure it's stressing people out more as drivers seem more aggressive and selfish.

During lockdown the parks were literally swarming with people whose usual weekend haunts were closed. It really opened my eyes to how overpopulated the city is now. One side of our city ends in the river so it's not even as it can grow outwards in a circular fashion. It feels hemmed in now. Don't get me wrong, it's still way less populated than London, but I just find that people irritate me more now, and there is more antisocial behaviour.

So, I dream of moving somewhere quieter and calmer. Yet I stop to think about what I like about here: 10 mins from a leading children's hospital, 15 mins from a proper A&E and leading specialists in all fields for outpatient appointments. 2 mins from a large 24 hr supermarket which stocks a wide range of more exotic foods. Multiple late night opening shops. 10 mins from an out of town retail store, cinema etc. 3 universities. etc etc.

While the noise from some of my less thoughtful neighbours drives me mad, I like having the comfort of hearing someone nearby, especially if there was an emergency - I know any of them would help out.

Rural living is lovely, I'm sure, if you can find the perfect set up so that you've got peace and quiet with nice neighbours at just the right distance to provide support and a community feel without feeling hemmed in, but also have good access to decent shops and medical facilities. I'm way past nightclub age now but I also appreciate having decent restaurants here. Pub food is lovely in a rural community but if it's your only choice and the menu doesn't change it can get a bit samey, and is often quite traditional food.

I've thought about buying a caravan somewhere rural but not sure we would have the time to use it often enough to get the benefit.

I know exactly how you feel though. You just want a quiet life.

I love it. But completely isolated, not part of a community or village. I’d hate that.

It has its advantages and disadvantages.

If you're very remote you might not have gas (we have oil central heating). You may not be connected to the sewage system and have to have the septic tank emptied (we have a septic tank). Getting anywhere takes a lot longer than expected. In winter roads can be cut off so you have to be prepared. Mud. Mud. More mud

Food deliveries may not be possible. Take away deliveries not possible for me (I collect and re heat). Any local shops are more expensive. Wifi is dreadful even with two boosters

However, it's helped my mental health immensely. I love that I can take the dog out for a walk in the local woods and even if the car park is full I might not see anyone. I love it when we're snowed in and the fire is lit. I love that I don't have the hustle and bustle of city life now. Id Never go back to city living

I live in outback australia. Its absolutely brilliant. My kids and I love it. The only thing we miss is the cinema. We do live walking distance to a handful of very very basic shops though which i think makes all the difference, and walking distance to friends houses. I wouldnt want to live too far away from basic shops and other people.

Everything everyone has said, plus if you move to the Highlands, you are no longer apparently part of the mainland according to many businesses (despite the fact that we are, it's just the islands obviously). So you get to pay extra for delivery, or not get your stuff at all in some cases.

You need to get in the car to go anywhere. Limited arts and culture cinema or sports facilities.