To think I am idealising this idea? (Remote living)

[AtlasPine]

What is it really like living remotely? I dream of a house on a hillside miles from town but that’s possibly because of being in one of the busier parts of London now. Have you or do you live remotely? What are the unexpected pitfalls? Would you recommend it in practice?

I think it's important to remember you won't just be inhabiting an isolated landscape, you'll be joining an isolated community. I think when people fantasise about rural leaving they don't remember to include the people.

you could well be isolated far more in London from human contact than in the outer Scottish isles

you may have a corner shop on your doorstep and 24/7 fast food but lacking in anything friendly

@SoloISland

I live on a small offshore island off the west coast of Ireland. Waited a long time for this and already had ten years on an outer Orkney island twenty years ago.

For me it i all I seek. I am nearly eighty and was on disability before I retired so I am well used to a very simply lifestyle.

I have only been off island once in the last two years ; been here six years, And that was by Rescue Air Ambulance in a medical emergency . From my call it was less than half an hour to the hospital . . By ferry then road would have been at least two hours.

Medical care accessible by visiting GP .

Good supply lines. And an excellent postal service. They do a special shoppers ferry every week so I email a list every two weeks and it is delivered to my door. Coastal areas here are very practical and extent that to the isles. Good competitive, prices from a main supermarket that like most rural places sells everything, I even now get a whole cooked chicken with every order..

Good power supply . apparently is used to be unreliable but they laid cables under the ocean and excellent now. One short power cut in my six years here. Good water supply etc and am well used to septic tanks after two decades of rural life out here in the wild west of Ireland. I cook by bottled gas by preference and always a spare bottle on hand. One lasts at least three months.

Heating by excellent solid fuel stove that heats the water and runs radiators. I buy turf from my neighbour so the money stays on island and occasionally smokeless coal eggs . That come over on the ferry

Excellent small local broadband firm. Skilled at coastal regions. The dish is on the north ocean facing wall and never a flicker in the worst of gales. Costs much less than digiweb and coverage is full time with no limitations on it

Winter; well we get gales in off the Atlantic from next month onwards, but between Orkney and Ireland I am well used to them. .. Rarely snow. Rarely frost.

And of course copious supplies are squirrelled away . That is just common sense. I have at any time enough dry goods to last three months and a normal size freezer is fine. Just finishing restocking now.

We are few out here and the silence and peace are deep and total. I lie abed in the dark bliss of night and soak in the sheer utter peace. We are on the edge of a Dark Sky area so just lighthouses and harbour lights.

And of course I know who to call in need. Actually far more available than in a town. We are neighbours. Not strangers.

Life is very seasonal but I love that mightily. And prefer winter to summer. hated winter in towns. Out here it is wondrously bleak. Walking against the wind. I used to be terrified in the bad gales but better now. Orkeny was worse; gusts of a hundred and twrenty four miles per hour r for three days once.

And I love to be out in the very early hours. Total peace and the sheer beauty of the silent or roaring ocean. I give thanks every day now.

And for me what others see as cons? I was never one to eat out or get takeways. Or cinemas etc. I miss a library ,, But with the internet? Someone sent me when I asked a copy of Lord of the Rings and I am ekeing it out; just not the same reading online, lol...
Nio TV by choice but I gather there is good reception.

So happy here I am. I was on the lane at first light, picking blackberries and wild flowers. Then home to a good breakfast

But then I have had all the other remote places and it is my natural element.. and on my own is easy too.

Sold!

@SeriouslyISuppose

I used to live on an otherwise uninhabited island — just me. Canister gas cooker, well water, no electricity, wood/turf fire, no non-ruined buildings apart from my cottage, no ferry. Used to arrange with a local fisherman to do a trip to the nearest port to do a supermarket shop periodically, but in bad weather, the island wasn’t reachable at all, as the only slipway was tiny and exposed. I could see the mainland, but often couldn’t have got there if I wanted to.

I loved it, but I enjoy solitude, am physically hardy, had a lot of reading material for bad weather, and was writing a book. And I knew it was for a finite period.

You win!

Can we have details of the book?

I had an ex who lived very remotely- you had to get a ferry to go visit his family. Some random things I thought were mad:

1. Him and his friends all lost their virginity at about the age of 13- and they'd basically all slept with each other. At the time I was sort of impressed with how experienced they were. Now I just realise they were really bored.
2. They all took drugs and the availability was way more than it was in the city. They came in on the fishing boats. I've rarely seen anything less cool than a group of 20 somethings on ecstasy in a traditional Irish old man pub. Classic night out for them.
3. But the freedom they had was extraordinary. As a young woman is was mad to me how safe they clearly all felt, and how they just walked home from everything and slept on each other's floors without needing to phone parents. There was nowhere anyone could go, and a security that nothing really bad could happen to them that I'd not experienced before.
4. We missed special family events several times because the ferry couldn't run in the bad weather. They were very isolated for most of the year and inability to travel was not something I'd experienced before.

you could well be isolated far more in London from human contact than in the outer Scottish isles

You see it depends what you want from a "community" doesn't it. The stereotype is always that people in London are rude and selfish and there's no "neighbourhood spirit" while people in smaller towns are more open and welcoming.

In reality though its much more complicated than that. People in small rural towns do have a very distinct sense of community and are often on first-name terms etc but in practice it takes a very long time to be accepted. A lot of people have known each other since primary school or even before and outsiders especially those from large cities can be treated with suspicion.

That may work beautifully for you if you have lived there all your life and enjoy small town living. If you move from London/Birmingham/Manchester in search of the good life its likely to be a major culture shock and you'll need to be really committed, to stick it out and to suck up quite a lot of judgement from people before you actually get to enjoy the benefits of that "community".

I've lived in London for most of my adult life and while its certainly true that people aren't usually all on first name terms its not nearly as hostile or isolating as the picture non-Londoners paint, in my experience. Where I live now (in suburban SE London), people are pretty friendly, most of the people I live next door to are on at least nodding if not first name terms, there are local social events fairly frequently and there are half a dozen people I could contact if I were in trouble.

And the good side of it, for me, is that while people will help if help is needed, there is far less of the interference and judgement that can go in hand with rural living. No-one will get over involved in your domestic arrangements, you won't get funny looks if you are a different colour or speak a different language or you are gay. You won't be snubbed for going to the wrong church or inadvertantly rub some important local bigwig up the wrong way because you fail to attend a bake sale or apply for planning permission.

I may be stereotyping a bit: there are plenty of rural communities which aren't like this. But it does irritate me when people paint London as a kind of human rat-run where people are all falling over one another to compete and wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire. There's plenty of community spirit and in my experience without the inwardness or judgement that often goes with living in the countryside. People are generally happy to help if they can but don't have time or inclination to over-involve themselves in stuff that doesn't concern them. Oh, and we don't all carry knives

[quote Sagaz]@soloISland, i didnt see your first post but yes it covers everything. Sounds like you have everything you need.[/quote]
Thank you and yes.

I made one huge boob when I had just moved and managed to run out of gas; I had forgotten that one of the two bottles I had brought over with me from the old place was almost empty.. There were some smirks as my neighbours who run the ferry took the two empties away... They are goodhearted men, . lol... and never done that again..

I agree with @lazylinguist. There’s a happy medium to be found if you don’t like the extremities of rural living.

When I was as Uni my parents bought an old barn to convert in the country.
It was a 10 minute walk to the very small road which was then a 10 minute drive/30 minute walk to a tiny village with 1 pub and a Post Office. There was a larger village 15 minutes further drive away with 3 shops and 2 pubs. The nearest town was 45 minutes by car and the nearest city was 1.5 hours
I bloody hated ever minute I lived there and left as soon as I could. I have never lived rurally since and never will

I agree with @ivykaty44, I lived in London for 10 years and have never been so lonely as then.

Living in a village may mean no takeaway or theatre but people are available and friendly.

@leavesthataregreen

Before you do it, think very thoroughly about the small things in life that bring you joy or frustration.

Do you depend on being able to nip out to the shops to pick up food or milk or a treat if you fancy one?

Do you enjoy people watching? Buskers on the tube, amazing hairstyles and fashion, neighbours having a quick chat while they weed their front garden etc?

Do you or any of your dependants have medical/optical/dental issues that need regular attention that is conveniently nearby in London?

Do you love art exhibitions, live music and theatre?

Do you enjoy gyms, fitness classes, park runs or bootcamps and attend them regularly, spurred on by the cameraderie of all working out hard together?

Do you like walking everywhere?

If so, then I think you'd go mad.

But if you plan menus weeks in advance, are happiest on your own, looking out over rolling hills, never seek company, like crafting and reading more than going out, are happy to jump in the car every time you need something, rather than go on foot, and can handle narrow or rutted lanes in pitch dark and bad weather, then you could be OK.

Rural living is my idea of absolute hell, as you might have guessed

lol, Yes I see what you think of as hell... lol,,, But then all that you value is anathema to me.
Plannng menus ? are you kidding? Food has an infinite variety with a freezer. Serendipitiy…whatever I fancy..

And no car and nowhere to go or need to go in bad weather.. Love being snug inside when a Force OTT gale is shaking the place... LOVE that. Safe and snug by the stove with home made chicken soup simmering and a cat or three purring.. Ah BLISS...

My situation is probably a little different, but we made the move and I love it.

I grew up in the country then moved to the city for work 20 years ago.

Last year, we moved to the country. We’re about 30mins drive from the nearest town.

I love it. We were able to buy a big house with a huge garden with a pond and greenhouse. We do need to plan more- we have a second freezer in the garage for stocks of milk and bread because we can’t just nip to the shop easily.

What’s a bit different is that we have to travel into the City about thrice a month so bought a small 2 bedroom flat right in the centre so we’re close to our offices and don’t need to face long commutes or have to book hotels for overnight stays. It also gives us the chance to soak-up some nightlife, theatre, great grocers etc.
I appreciate that this isn’t possible for most people.

If I had to choose one over the other, it’d be rural life 100%.

@thepeopleversuswork

you could well be isolated far more in London from human contact than in the outer Scottish isles

You see it depends what you want from a "community" doesn't it. The stereotype is always that people in London are rude and selfish and there's no "neighbourhood spirit" while people in smaller towns are more open and welcoming.

In reality though its much more complicated than that. People in small rural towns do have a very distinct sense of community and are often on first-name terms etc but in practice it takes a very long time to be accepted. A lot of people have known each other since primary school or even before and outsiders especially those from large cities can be treated with suspicion.

That may work beautifully for you if you have lived there all your life and enjoy small town living. If you move from London/Birmingham/Manchester in search of the good life its likely to be a major culture shock and you'll need to be really committed, to stick it out and to suck up quite a lot of judgement from people before you actually get to enjoy the benefits of that "community".

I've lived in London for most of my adult life and while its certainly true that people aren't usually all on first name terms its not nearly as hostile or isolating as the picture non-Londoners paint, in my experience. Where I live now (in suburban SE London), people are pretty friendly, most of the people I live next door to are on at least nodding if not first name terms, there are local social events fairly frequently and there are half a dozen people I could contact if I were in trouble.

And the good side of it, for me, is that while people will help if help is needed, there is far less of the interference and judgement that can go in hand with rural living. No-one will get over involved in your domestic arrangements, you won't get funny looks if you are a different colour or speak a different language or you are gay. You won't be snubbed for going to the wrong church or inadvertantly rub some important local bigwig up the wrong way because you fail to attend a bake sale or apply for planning permission.

I may be stereotyping a bit: there are plenty of rural communities which aren't like this. But it does irritate me when people paint London as a kind of human rat-run where people are all falling over one another to compete and wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire. There's plenty of community spirit and in my experience without the inwardness or judgement that often goes with living in the countryside. People are generally happy to help if they can but don't have time or inclination to over-involve themselves in stuff that doesn't concern them. Oh, and we don't all carry knives

hmmm.. I don't see much connection between your words and my life here. But as one Irish lady elsewhere rightly opined, when you live on a small island it is different with a very very strong respect for and observance of privacy that I have not seen anywhere else. As the lady said rightly, if you fall out with you neighbour on a small island? Ouch.. There are past disagreements inevitably but folk treat each other with a care and respect regardless. Mostly.. lol.. and even if it is superficial it keeps the wheels turning.. But then I am all but housebound.. and I know these folk have a lifetime of knowing each other and treat that with quiet respect.

Pitfalls are lack of mains public services (water, gas, sewage, sometimes electricity.) or if there is electricity, long power cuts ( because they repair remote supplies last).
Not getting roads cleared after snow. (
Difficulty persuading workmen to come to remote location.

 All of the above are perfectly manageable if you are young fit  capable resilient and independent.    But if you  become old frail  ill or disabled you may be forced to leave  at very little notice.

We live off grid 8 miles from nearest small town with crap tiny supermarket. Can’t see any houses from our house/land. Neighbours drive to see us.

Super friendly community, peaceful, amazing views, incredible lifestyle, unbeatable for our kids.

But we are happy in our own/each other’s company and working towards self sufficiency. We have a small holding and we’re literally living our dream.

Annoying if you forget to buy something, but you soon learn!
Had to do school run until this year which took an insane amount out of my day.
When I drive to town to get a takeaway it’s lukewarm by the time I’m home. Haha

Wouldn’t change it for anything, it’s incredible. But very very different to city living.

@SoloISland

My post was not aimed at you, it was really at the poster who claimed living in London was isolating.

Horses for courses obviously but this trope irritates me because it’s a cliche usually dispensed by people who have never lived in London and it’s really unfair.

The picture you paint of your life is actually very desirable and I would love to live like this when the time is right (not yet). I can totally see the appeal.

I stand by what I said though about this life not being ideal for younger people.

@SeriouslyISuppose

I used to live on an otherwise uninhabited island — just me. Canister gas cooker, well water, no electricity, wood/turf fire, no non-ruined buildings apart from my cottage, no ferry. Used to arrange with a local fisherman to do a trip to the nearest port to do a supermarket shop periodically, but in bad weather, the island wasn’t reachable at all, as the only slipway was tiny and exposed. I could see the mainland, but often couldn’t have got there if I wanted to.

I loved it, but I enjoy solitude, am physically hardy, had a lot of reading material for bad weather, and was writing a book. And I knew it was for a finite period.

I still dream of that. I really do. Yearn..

Pampered here but this is as near as I will get. My accommodation is suitably simple as there is no bath or shower and no one available to plumb in my washing machine. Back to my childhood life. .
My other yearning was and is to live in a lighthouse. Somewhere like Fastnet right out in the ocean.

We get cut off for a few days each winter. I LOVE it. Feels so safe. Snug and unassailable.
I inquired about one on a different island but was told it was so bad ... it was on land..... that no one would deliver fuel up therein in winter.

Inishkea appeals but here is good too. lol..

@2bazookas

Pitfalls are lack of mains public services (water, gas, sewage, sometimes electricity.) or if there is electricity, long power cuts ( because they repair remote supplies last). Not getting roads cleared after snow. ( Difficulty persuading workmen to come to remote location.

 All of the above are perfectly manageable if you are young fit  capable resilient and independent.    But if you  become old frail  ill or disabled you may be forced to leave  at very little notice.</div></div>

Our old folk live out here with their frailties often until their deaths. Some into their hundred years and more With occasional hospital stays.

So your last para? I have disability and am nearly eighty but will do likewise. Very happily.

I grew up very rurally - in a hamlet more than a village - one of those places where a car drives past and everyone twitches the curtains. Spooky…

I. Hated. It.

Last bus into the local town was something like 4pm, had to drive about 20 minutes to get a pint of milk (and that was during normal opening hours, if it was 11pm you’d be stuffed). Stank of pig shit all the time, was bored stiff, massive spiders coming in the house constantly & I just whiled the years away watching TV unless I had a pre-planned social event. Nothing could be done spontaneously, was so lonely and envious of the kids in town who could just pop round to see each other.

Locals are usually the very elderly, and those who get left behind after leaving school because all their peers with social lives and ambition move to cities. I have to be honest there seems to be so many more oddballs living rurally than in cities.

If you don’t have kids, you’re an introvert and you have a serious and solo hobby like photography/painting/horse riding/archery/cross country running, then go for it. Otherwise choose a nice small town within an hour of a good city.

I’d also add that there’s no way in hell an OAP would be “left to rot” on their own. Roads not being cleared? Yeh… at 80 you’ve lived enough winters to have stocked cupboards. You have a gas or Rayburn cooker, “power cut” projects, GPs who still do home visits, neighbours who carry your shopping home, mobile library and if the power goes to shit for days on end, you’ll be scooped up on the back of a quad and taken into someone else’s warm home.

There’s no way an OAP here would be left with no recourse to help, they’d never even have to ask.

The school serves the community here and the OAPs come in regularly to spend the morning with the kids and the kids will visit their houses for carols type thing. Nobody is left alone - unless they want it.

I can’t sleep without the sound of a Gale… if I go away i have Alexa play storms to me. 😁

@Larryyourwaiter

I had a friend who moved remotely. It didn’t work out, there were a few things that killed it for her. The only shop in the hamlet closed, all the shops in the area were super expensive, she spent her whole life driving children about and no one came to visit. We all did visit, but only once or twice. It was a 3 hour round trip, it’s not like popping in for a cuppa. I didn’t like it as we all had to go and her husband and kids were about and was hard to be alone with her. She’s back round the corner now.

I actually know someone who regularly gets cut off for weeks in the winter. She loves it. It’s just her, husband and her dogs. Her only complaint was you have to get used to UHT milk.

The supermarket here does not sell UHT milk. I get three litres fresh, every two weeks, freeze two litres then go on to dried. Grand.
ie ability to adapt is the key.

When I lived in Orkney, I had a goat for milk... hens, geese and ducks,,, Peafowl so tame the peacock would stand in the door with his tail spread,,, Two Jacobs sheep for wool, and was still breeding Siamese cats. Huge vegetable garden ,, and terrifying gales in winter. The gales followed me here.. I earned money by knitting Aran sweaters for the export industry. I have written books, knitted for craft fairs and street markets.. So now I have RETIRED to my small island.. as I have yearned o do since I was sixteen years old.... and hoping never to cross to the mainland again..

islandanchorhold.blogspot.com

Sorry, @IngridTails, identifying! (You’re not missing much, it wasn’t particularly good…)

@SoloISland, I still quite fancy living in a lighthouse myself, and have rented lighthouse keepers’ cottages a couple of times for a stay.

I should say I also lived in London for a decade and loved it, and remain nostalgic for it long after I left. The only place in the UK I’ve ever lived where I was totally miserable was a village in the Midlands, which I think was more about insularity than anything.

@icedcoffees

How rural are you talking? We're in a small rural town:

• nearest hospital is a 45 minute drive.
• no UBEReats or other delivery services.
• no bus service, irregular trains (often cancelled, especially in winter and they don't run at all on Sundays or BH's), limited and expensive taxi services that need to be booked well in advance for long journeys.
• the nearest airport is three hours away
• poor roads in winter which means we're often cut off from everything. DH has numerous "snow days" each year as the roads are closed due to snow and ice or accidents.
• no cinema, bowling alley or chain restaurant within 45 minutes.
• harsh winters in terms of weather.

But there are lots of positives

• gorgeous views and loads of isolated, quiet walks and places to go
• miles of empty coastline to explore
• exceptionally dog friendly
• everyone knows everyone and helps out in an emergency or when you're stuck or in trouble
• some great local independent restaurants, pubs and cafés
• property prices are very low - you can get a 4 bed terrace with a garden for less than 80k.
• fantastic work-life balance for most.

It all depends on what you want and what sacrifices you're prepared to make to get it.

where can i get a house and garden for 80k?!

in a nice area!

@SoloISland:
And no car and nowhere to go or need to go in bad weather.. Love being snug inside when a Force OTT gale is shaking the place... LOVE that. Safe and snug by the stove with home made chicken soup simmering and a cat or three purring.. Ah BLISS...

Well you do make it sound nice. But what about when tree comes down onto your shed, or blocks the only road, or when tiles are blown off the roof? It's bad enough when that happens when there are services around to help you but I can't imagine how I'd feel if I were out in the country miles from anywhere and totally on my own and a tree came down onto an electricity pylon and cut off my electricity. It wouldn't feel so cosy and safe then.

For all of those mentioning the broadband issue it soon won't be a problem. Starlink will be available to the general public any time now enabling a 150Mb connection wherever you are at a reasonable cost.

@GettingItOutThere I'm in Cumbria on the coast - outside the National Park.

But people don't want to live here because it's isolated and doesn't have many amenities - no bus service, no UBER, no takeaway deliveries, no McDonald's etc etc.

Our house cost us just under 60k and has a two bedrooms and a garden.