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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boyfriend said my best friend is very pretty

198 replies

WildflowerWildfire · 11/09/2021 19:52

I was talking to my boyfriend about one of my best friends being upset because of her weight and not wanting to start dating due to it. I said something along the lines of her doing her best to lose the weight, but that regardless, she has a really great personality and she’s very pretty. My boyfriend then quickly agreed, “when I saw her at … I did notice that she does have a very pretty face”. He’s only met her once. But Jesus. Great to know that he’s thinking about my friends being pretty when I introduce him. Aibu?

OP posts:
Lampzade · 11/09/2021 20:07

Op, do you suspect that your partner fancies your friend? . Were you testing him to see whether he is attracted to your friend?

SylvanasWindrunner · 11/09/2021 20:07

Confused Can you not recognise when men are attractive when you look at them? I can recognise men are good-looking without wanting to have sex with them. I told my husband his brother was looking quite hot the other day as he's been working out a lot and got a good haircut, but I've got no interest in having sex with him!

MistyFrequencies · 11/09/2021 20:07

Grow up.
Your friend is pretty, he acknowledged it. That's not at all a big deal.

seaandsandcastles · 11/09/2021 20:08

YABVU. It’s okay for him to find other people attractive you know.

Chloemol · 11/09/2021 20:08

Time for you to grow up

Pathetic

drizzleabit · 11/09/2021 20:08

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

PurplePosies · 11/09/2021 20:10

So what?

LimeRedBanana · 11/09/2021 20:10

You sound very young / new to relationships.

He hasn’t said anything wrong.

With a few more years under your belt, you’ll look back on this and realise how silly you were being.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 11/09/2021 20:13

Your reaction is very strange.

You're either very paranoid in general, he's a serial cheat with form that is affecting your feelings on this or you're extremely young so relationships are all new to you.

Because he said a nice thing about someone you care about. He didn't say 'yeah when I saw her I thought fuck me, she's well fit and I'd shag her'. He said she's got a very pretty face.

You're being silly.

furbabymama87 · 11/09/2021 20:15

Hmm, I don't think he should have said anything to you about it, there wasn't really any reason to. It's not going to make you feel great, especially if you've got low confidence issues. I can tell that a man is attractive is general but it doesn't mean I personally am attracted to them, so he may not have meant much by it. Just ask him.

mummaelle · 11/09/2021 20:17

Tell me you're insecure without telling me you're insecure x

Unfashionable · 11/09/2021 20:17

How old are you, OP? I ask that because you sound like a teenager. You said your friend was pretty. He agreed with you. Now you are pissed off with him for agreeing with you. That’s silly, immature behaviour by any standards. Are you sure you are ready for adult relationships?

Ughmaybenot · 11/09/2021 20:17

You’re being ridiculous.

ElliottSmithsfingers · 11/09/2021 20:18

YABVU - poor guy!

Original poster
WildflowerWildfire · 11/09/2021 20:19

Wow. What lovely responses.

I’m not “very young” no. But I have EUPD which may skew my views on things. I just wanted opinions.

OP posts:
jesusmaryjosephandtheweedonkey · 11/09/2021 20:21

Honestly. You are totally over reacting to a complete non event !

Sparklesocks · 11/09/2021 20:22

Also it’s important that he said it in the context of a conversation you were having about her looks and being pretty (as you said it first), rather than him just saying she’s pretty unprompted out of nowhere.

Thedogscollar · 11/09/2021 20:22

@WildflowerWildfire
If he said no she was ugly or plain would that have made you happy?
You need to grow up and your bf will no doubt not appreciate your jealous streak. It ain't a good look.

Porridgealert · 11/09/2021 20:23

She's pretty. You said she's pretty. He said she's pretty. Should he have lied and said she's plain? You want to be in a relationship with a rude liar?

youvegottenminuteslynn · 11/09/2021 20:23

@WildflowerWildfire

Wow. What lovely responses.

I’m not “very young” no. But I have EUPD which may skew my views on things. I just wanted opinions.

Ah that shines a light on it then, it may well be something you'll have to work hard on in counselling to try and get some coping mechanisms ready to tackle these thoughts.

Has he given you reason to be insecure or untrusting of him?

I ask because the mixture of one partner with EUPD and one partner with prior for cheating / wandering eyes / lying etc is one of THE most toxic combinations and never ends well.

TeaMeBasil · 11/09/2021 20:27

YABU.

He agreed with what you said and said something nice about your friend. Both nice things. He was wide open honest too. Another good thing.

I'd be pleased if my boyfriend said this about my best friend - it would not make me think he wants to cheat on me with her, I'd think he was lovely for being sweet about my friend.

DameAlyson · 11/09/2021 20:30

Hmm, I don't think he should have said anything to you about it, there wasn't really any reason to.

The reason was that the OP brought up the subject. He just agreed with her. What was he supposed to say?

5128gap · 11/09/2021 20:32

What would have been your preferred reaction when you told him about your friend's insecurities? That he would agree she needed to lose weight? Did you hope for a positive comparison between her and yourself? I can think of no other reason for your being put out that he agreed with you that someone was pretty. If it makes you feel any better he may have just thought he would please you by being nice about your friend. I would be happy for my friends to be complimented, as would many people.

mirijones · 11/09/2021 20:51

Are you insecure?

AramintaLee · 11/09/2021 20:58

It sounds like he was just agreeing with you. You're definitely overreacting.

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