Was I wrong to put a stop to this woman pestering my DH !!

[Highfivemum]

At primary school I met a lady who had children in older yrs. Not friends just knew of her. She is divorced .Fast track 3 years and I get a call from a friend ( who is friends with her ) to say she is stranded with a flat Tyre not far from me and can’t change her trye. Can my DH help if he is at home as she is terrified at the side of road ( my DF know my DH works shifts and is good with cars) so I told my DH who was at home and of he went with his tools and changed her Tyre. I sent her my DH number and said he is on his way . My DH came home and said she was distraught as she had a flat near the road and is sick of her car having issues and needs a new one. I thought that was it. Good turn done. A few days later my husband said this woman had messaged and it it had details of a car she was thinking of buying and what did he think. ?? Was it a good car etc ? He replied saying not sure it depends on the car really. That was that. Then a few days later my DH said he had a message again saying she had seen another car and did he thinknit any good ? He didn’t reply. I though that was it then last night she messaged again can he go with her to look at a car !! I am not a jealous person in any way but I thought this is taking the P ....
My DH said he didn’t think he should go as he didn’t know her and she was a bit full on but if she needed help should he ? I said no. Don’t go. Now though I am thinking was I selfish. ???

If she is alone and possibly mental health issues etc then possibly you're being a bit selfish.

But you have to look after your own family...where will this end?? I don't think she's any bad intentions. Sounds like she is struggling to cope though, which could be draining.

Not sure where jealousy is relevant but she is taking the piss asking for his time and expertise when she barely knows him. He can do what he likes though - if he likes talking cars maybe he'd enjoy offering advice? If not he is a grown up, he can politely tell her to stop asking

What’s taking the piss exactly? She’s just asking for advice on a car!

What on earth indicates "mental health issues" @Yummypumpkin ? A bad personality isn't a mental health issue ffs

@Rubyrecka I wouldn't ask a near stranger for advice on a car, that is taking the piss as it's encroaching on their time. I'd ask a mate but it doesn't seem like he is one

Dh just needs to block her number.

She is looking for a white Knight, don't let your husband be that man

He should just block her number. He's told her he doesn't know, why is she continuing to ask for his opinion? She can do her own research on cars.

I'd just let him deal with it. Presumably he is an adult and if he doesn't want to help, he can just say so? If he's happy to do it then I wouldn't care. There's nothing to say that she's doing it because she fancies him, is there? I know a few people who are very nervous about buying cars and would like someone knowledgeable to come along with them when they go to look at them. I believe the RAC actually used to offer this (maybe still do) as a paid service!

I’d assume she just wanted to pick his brain if he knew about cars. Can he decide if he wants to help her? Surely he’s not done enough to impact on you.

I’d not want to be involved in the car decision making process as I’d feel responsible if it all went wrong!

When he fixed her car did he maybe offer to advise her about a new one? Maybe she genuinely feels a bit lost when it comes to cars and sees him as an expert. It sounds harmless to me - as things stand.

Unless he genuinely has the expertise to offer advice on a car purchase (other than being a man!) I wouldn't consider it, simply because it's the kind of help that can only go wrong.

It terms of whether he should help this woman, I'm recently widowed and some friends' husbands have helped me out, which is both really appreciated and a bit annoying, as I'm not as useless as they seem to think I am

Ooh yes RAC still do it:

www.rac.co.uk/buying-a-car/vehicle-inspections

Maybe send her that?

Maybe she just thought he was a friendly bloke who, because he was kind enough to change her tyre, might be able to help her out with this.

She’s messaged again because he wasn’t clear that he couldn’t help the first time. If he doesn’t want to he should say he can’t help and she’d be better off finding someone with a bit more knowledge. Ignoring her is just rude.

Don’t really understand the need to claim she’s a husband stealer just because she’s divorced and asked for help (or that she could be mentally ill) 🙄

Jesus have a bit of compassion. Maybe she doesn’t know a thing about cars. Maybe she doesn’t know any men who know anything about cars. Maybe she’s struggling with a job and kids on her own and is sick of car issues so just wants a bit of advice on what to avoid.

Weirdly not every single woman wants to shag your husbands

I wouldnt be happy about him getting involved. If he says the car is fine and looks good and it turns out to be unreliable she will blame him. He should just say I would never advise on a car, sorry.

She’s just looking for advice, not stealing your husband.

[quote rattlemehearties]@Rubyrecka I wouldn't ask a near stranger for advice on a car, that is taking the piss as it's encroaching on their time. I'd ask a mate but it doesn't seem like he is one[/quote]
A few text messages isn’t taking the piss - asking him to view a car - no, I still don’t think it’s taking the piss, plus he’s already said no….she probably just didn’t have any one else to ask and trusts OPs husband more than a sales person.

Alas, good deeds are a thing of the past

@HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend

She’s just looking for advice, not stealing your husband.

That's not always true, and we don't actually know this woman to be able to tell that.

@SmokeyDevil the opposite is also true! Could also be totally innocent. Erring on the side of suspicion seems abit over kill in OP example

Call me old-fashioned or whatnot but I feel she is being inappropriate. I wouldn't dream of messaging an acquaintance's husband even for car advice, especially every couple of days.
Re car, I'd do my own research.

Beware-she'll likely continue pestering your DH to help with 'man' things if you don't nip it in the bud.

Remembering when I was newly divorced, single mother, worked two jobs and the next door but one man ran the lawnmower over my front lawn whilst he was doing his.

I knew it was a mess out there but I just did have the time or energy (or a lawnmower) to do it. It was such a lovely thing to do and I’ve never forgotten it. His wife had a right bitch to a mutual friend and made it sound like I’d fucking asked him. Imagine being so insecure you think every woman is after your husband, we managed to get rid of ours, believe us we don’t want yours

I do not think she has any interest in your husband, but on his knowledge/advice re a car to purchase.
It is a tricky one, as I feel sorry for her, as you do. But you do not want any drama if things go wrong with the car she buys and you do not know her well enough to know how she would act.

I wouldn’t go with her to look at cars only because if he says it’s fine and something goes wrong she’ll blame him, plus she might start to expect help with other things. I’d just message back and say sorry I can’t help you why don’t you try the RAC or AA? And then block her.

It's impossible to say she's after the ops husband. Impossible to say she's not. Regardless, I can't ever imagine calling out a husband if a friends friend to change my tyre. She's a grown arse woman and that's what car rescue is for.
Ops husband has already ignored one message which should be a clue he's not interested in a texting relationship but sge carries on. Best case scenario is she's using someone she doesn't know to get free guidance which is cheeky.
I wouldn't care if he discussed cars with her, though, I just think she is cheeky. Mind you I might change my opinion if he is a car mechanic.