Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I wrong to put a stop to this woman pestering my DH !!

243 replies

Highfivemum · 11/09/2021 19:45

At primary school I met a lady who had children in older yrs. Not friends just knew of her. She is divorced .Fast track 3 years and I get a call from a friend ( who is friends with her ) to say she is stranded with a flat Tyre not far from me and can’t change her trye. Can my DH help if he is at home as she is terrified at the side of road ( my DF know my DH works shifts and is good with cars) so I told my DH who was at home and of he went with his tools and changed her Tyre. I sent her my DH number and said he is on his way . My DH came home and said she was distraught as she had a flat near the road and is sick of her car having issues and needs a new one. I thought that was it. Good turn done. A few days later my husband said this woman had messaged and it it had details of a car she was thinking of buying and what did he think. ?? Was it a good car etc ? He replied saying not sure it depends on the car really. That was that. Then a few days later my DH said he had a message again saying she had seen another car and did he thinknit any good ? He didn’t reply. I though that was it then last night she messaged again can he go with her to look at a car !! I am not a jealous person in any way but I thought this is taking the P ....
My DH said he didn’t think he should go as he didn’t know her and she was a bit full on but if she needed help should he ? I said no. Don’t go. Now though I am thinking was I selfish. ???

OP posts:
DamnUserName21 · 11/09/2021 20:43

@SwishSwishBisch

Jfc. As a single divorced woman myself, this sort of attitude to women like me daring to talk to other women’s husbands does my nut in. Your DH voluntarily helped her fix her car, she clearly respects his superior (to hers) knowledge of cars, and perhaps she doesn’t know anyone else who might help. He doesn’t have to reply/help/do anything for her if he doesn’t want to, but as to why you’re now sticking your oar in saying she’s taking the piss, I don’t know! If it was a single divorced guy asking, would you give a shiny shit? No, didn’t think so
It's got nothing to do with her being single. It's got everything to do with this person sending multiple messages and then booking a viewing (requiring a lift!) from someone she doesn't know who did her a favour once. But, yes, the DH in question needs to be really clear that he is not going to help further.
Original poster
Highfivemum · 11/09/2021 20:43

Male or female asking I would still think it was taking the P....

my DH and I have 6 DC. I am partially disabled Andy DH works full time as a key worker all the hours he can to support us. We both are community volunteer workers when we do get any time. Three messages after he helped her and one saying can he take her in his car to see a car 19 miles away is not reasonable when we do not know her. She is very popular and not without friends from what I have seen in the past.

OP posts:
TonkinLenkicks · 11/09/2021 20:43

We had this kind of thing when we sold our house. The wife bombarded my DH who had kindly left his number in case there were any issues (ie how to set the alarm etc). Weirdly she looked like me and her DH looked like my DH. We were a bit creeped out in the end so he blocked her not before we checked the bushes outside our house

LimeRedBanana · 11/09/2021 20:46

I would be leaving my DH to handle it.

She is being weird expecting a stranger to help her out. This is what actual friends / family are for.

But it sounds like your DH is well able for handling it himself. He is not being unreasonable in saying no to these pushy requests from a stranger.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 11/09/2021 20:47

She has no issues. She has lots of friends around

In that case I'd also wonder why she's targeting your DH in particular, but what counts is that he's uncomfortable with this and that's reason enough to say no

Just hope that she understands the meaning of "no" ...

ToykotoLosAngeles · 11/09/2021 20:47

Ultimately he was there when he changed her tyre and he read her body language etc. To be honest you just know when someone makes you uncomfortable, even when you're both same-sex and apparently straight.

I'd just say I'm really sorry but I don't want the liability of saying yay or nay to a car but if I were her I'd avoid Citroens (or whatever) and then stop.

BungleandGeorge · 11/09/2021 20:48

I don’t think the issue is around her being female or anything to do with affairs and it would make no difference if she was male. She a total cf to keep texting someone who is not a friend, has never met her socially and expecting lifts and trips to the garage. Your husband was incredibly good natured to go out and help her change a tyre, most people just pay for AA membership! If someone did that for me I’d be tripping over myself with gratitude not asking (demanding) more favours!

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 11/09/2021 20:48

The problem isn't her "daring to speak" to OP's husband.

She asked him, basically a stranger, to go and look at cars with her.

Even if he were not married that would be a really random and odd request.

Notaroadrunner · 11/09/2021 20:50

Has he replied to tell her that he's not in a position to help?

Original poster
Highfivemum · 11/09/2021 20:53

He has replied saying he is very busy with work and family and not an expert so So it is best to ask someone who is.
Let’s hope that is the end of it.

OP posts:
BastardMonkfish · 11/09/2021 20:57

She sounds a bit intense Confused bet she doesn't take the hint!

FFSFFSFFS · 11/09/2021 20:57

We’ll certainly that she had children in her older years is a big ol red flag. Those women are all kinds of wrong and certainly can’t be trusted.

Justgettingbye · 11/09/2021 20:57

Seems to be taking the piss and not taking the hint. It would annoy me

Original poster
Highfivemum · 11/09/2021 20:57

No he has just shown me her reply.
“Can he do another day then “ wtf

OP posts:
GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 11/09/2021 20:59

Tell him to text back "No, we can't."

She's an arse.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 11/09/2021 21:00

I think she sounds like a CF who has got all she can out of her current 'friends' and she's casting around for some extras, rather than fishing for a new bloke.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 11/09/2021 21:00

I wouldn't do it because she has randomly assumed that one good act means he can help her with car stuff generally. It would be hard to draw a line if he agrees to do it.

Really - easy to say now l know - but the response to the first call should have been - here's the number for the rac. People have got busy lives and she needs to stand on her own two feet.

YvesEveEave · 11/09/2021 21:01

@FFSFFSFFS

We’ll certainly that she had children in her older years is a big ol red flag. Those women are all kinds of wrong and certainly can’t be trusted.
I think op means he children are in older years at school, not that annoying woman had children when she was in her older years
LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 11/09/2021 21:02

@NeverDropYourMooncup

I think she sounds like a CF who has got all she can out of her current 'friends' and she's casting around for some extras, rather than fishing for a new bloke.
This. Why did mum friend think it was OK to call someone else to help her? Probably because she is pissed off with having to help her all the time.
Original poster
Highfivemum · 11/09/2021 21:03

Sorry yes. She had children in the last years of primary when my children were in infants.

OP posts:
YvesEveEave · 11/09/2021 21:03

This. Why did mum friend think it was OK to call someone else to help her? Probably because she is pissed off with having to help her all the time.

Ha! Exactly this^^

"She's your problem now! Bye" {runs away cackling}

Original poster
Highfivemum · 11/09/2021 21:04

Should he reply or just block. ?

OP posts:
GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 11/09/2021 21:04

@YvesEveEave

This. Why did mum friend think it was OK to call someone else to help her? Probably because she is pissed off with having to help her all the time.

Ha! Exactly this^^

"She's your problem now! Bye" {runs away cackling}

:o
ladygracie · 11/09/2021 21:05

I think the older years part means that her children are in the older years of primary school. But I may be wrong. I didn’t see it as a comment on someone who has had children when they are older.

DamnUserName21 · 11/09/2021 21:05

@Highfivemum

No he has just shown me her reply. “Can he do another day then “ wtf
A simple NO and block should suffice.