Was I wrong to put a stop to this woman pestering my DH !!

[Highfivemum]

At primary school I met a lady who had children in older yrs. Not friends just knew of her. She is divorced .Fast track 3 years and I get a call from a friend ( who is friends with her ) to say she is stranded with a flat Tyre not far from me and can’t change her trye. Can my DH help if he is at home as she is terrified at the side of road ( my DF know my DH works shifts and is good with cars) so I told my DH who was at home and of he went with his tools and changed her Tyre. I sent her my DH number and said he is on his way . My DH came home and said she was distraught as she had a flat near the road and is sick of her car having issues and needs a new one. I thought that was it. Good turn done. A few days later my husband said this woman had messaged and it it had details of a car she was thinking of buying and what did he think. ?? Was it a good car etc ? He replied saying not sure it depends on the car really. That was that. Then a few days later my DH said he had a message again saying she had seen another car and did he thinknit any good ? He didn’t reply. I though that was it then last night she messaged again can he go with her to look at a car !! I am not a jealous person in any way but I thought this is taking the P ....
My DH said he didn’t think he should go as he didn’t know her and she was a bit full on but if she needed help should he ? I said no. Don’t go. Now though I am thinking was I selfish. ???

@Loudestcat14

SmokeyDevil No, it's not normal to be like that to a stranger and it's a weird outburst, but again, we don't know what the DH said at the roadside – something must've given her the impression he'd be happy to help. SeriouslySuppose You might not have suggested it but other PP have.

Not always and you can't assume he did anything, like you're saying we can't assume she was after him. As far as we know, he helped her by changing her tyre, she made him feel uncomfortable, and she then sent him texts asking for his help, then gave a passive aggressive response to him saying no and is now slagging him off. She is not happy she has been told no for whatever reason, but no matter what reason it is, it isn't a good one. He has every right to say no, and her behaviour makes her look far worse.

YANBU
She’s latching on to her knight in shining armour.
Fuck her off before you can’t get rid of her.
Also if he did go and see the car with her, it just gives her even more ways to latch onto him.

Lost my DP two weeks ago - started with a couple of jobs, then messaging privately, more jobs. Told him how much her 4 year old adored playing football with him....
Shacked up with her now, he's now baby sitting while she goes out. You could not make it up. Thew his whole family under the bus and is now making up a narrative to suit.
She even called him her "go to guy" in front of me. Hindsight is a great thing. He is vulnerable - Aspergers - hoovered him right up before my eyes.

@BeepBoopBop

Lost my DP two weeks ago - started with a couple of jobs, then messaging privately, more jobs. Told him how much her 4 year old adored playing football with him.... Shacked up with her now, he's now baby sitting while she goes out. You could not make it up. Thew his whole family under the bus and is now making up a narrative to suit. She even called him her "go to guy" in front of me. Hindsight is a great thing. He is vulnerable - Aspergers - hoovered him right up before my eyes.

So sorry to hear this. 💐

@DoubleTweenQueen

If anyone has asked us for anything, we have done what we can to help either practically or pointed in the right direction. We have often offered to help with stuff too, without needing to be asked! It really isn't difficult.

And if you don't have the time or inclination, or feel you're starting to be imposed upon, a bit of politeness in asserting that goes a long way.

You lot are hilarious.

Um...he was polite in asserting it? The only person who was rude was CF woman.

And he did help practically. He went out and hanged her tyre

I mean...are you ok? Did you take offence at something op said? Was it because she mentioned the CF was divorced or something? I don't think she was implying ALL divorced mums are CFs. Just that this one is?

And since you'd help anyone, could you please give me some money? I'll do you my details yeah?

@BeepBoopBop

Lost my DP two weeks ago - started with a couple of jobs, then messaging privately, more jobs. Told him how much her 4 year old adored playing football with him.... Shacked up with her now, he's now baby sitting while she goes out. You could not make it up. Thew his whole family under the bus and is now making up a narrative to suit. She even called him her "go to guy" in front of me. Hindsight is a great thing. He is vulnerable - Aspergers - hoovered him right up before my eyes.

That's horrendous @BeepBoopBop 🥺

@cameocat

I can change a tyre but I couldn't advise nor would want to advise someone on whether a car is a good buy or not. That is a lot of responsibility and if she's slagging him off for saying he can't help what will she do if the car goes wrong, expect him to fix it every time?

Almost certainly. I'd give her a wide berth from now on.

She was definitely after him. I agree with you. She was was being very inappropriate.

@YvesEveEave

And he did help practically. He went out and hanged her tyre

I mean...are you ok? Did you take offence at something op said? Was it because she mentioned the CF was divorced or something? I don't think she was implying ALL divorced mums are CFs. Just that this one is?

And since you'd help anyone, could you please give me some money? I'll do you my details yeah?

Changed* DM*

I hate my phone

She sounds like a determined user, OP. Your DH was right to firmly cut her off and he was polite in doing so.

I'm laughing at all the pp on here accusing you of being a jealous wife or saying that your DH should spend his days as a free personal shopper for random motorists.

It sounds like she was far too pushy. I'm a widow and if I don't know something I tend to either search online or ask a long standing friend who wouldn't mind. You do have to be careful as some people are suspicious of single women and automatically assume they must be after their husband when they aren't. She should have stopped asking as soon as it was clear your dh didn't want to help

No good deed goes unpunished

Any news from your friend?

@Blackkbird

Any news from your friend?

Only to say her other friend has now asked her husband to go with her. He works away most of the time so he has said no to as when he is home he is with his family. She now hasn’t spoken to her since. Was most def right to knock it on the head.

The CF is relentless 🤣

If she is alone and possibly mental health issues etc then possibly you're being a bit selfish

Don’t see why either of these things are your problem! And no not selfish IMO, he’s YOUR DH…

I have only seen this thread today but bloody hell she really is a pushy CF. So because your DH helped her out once when she needed help, she feels entitled to have him at her beck and call. I really don't understand some people's way of thinking - and the fact that she bitched because he had the cheek to say no. No good deed and all that...