to think "no woman aborts a baby lightly" is untrue and unhelpful?

[ZoeCM]

I've noticed this phrase being used a lot following the news about Texas. I'm pro-choice, and I don't think it helps our cause.

There are women who have abortions lightly. It's not a myth started by the Daily Mail. I don't even think it's necessarily even that rare.

There are women who actively want a baby in the near future, are in stable relationships, aren't even using contraception, but still decide to abort because the timing isn't 100% perfect: they don't want to cancel their holiday abroad, or give birth until the extension on their house is finished. Trust me, it happens. Does anyone really think those women agonised over whether the holiday/extension was more important than the baby, before painfully including that abortion was the only option? Of course not. And that's fine. Women shouldn't have to ask if their reasons for aborting are "good enough".

Then there are the women who are on their fifth or sixth abortion - workers at abortion clinics will confirm that this does happen. It seems unlikely that those women agonised over their decisions either, because presumably they would have put some long-term contraception in place to stop it happening again. I expect most of them come from pretty traumatic backgrounds, but that doesn't mean their decision to abort isn't made perfectly casually.

This phrase is a gift for pro-lifers, because it's so easily disproved: many of them will have stories about women they know who've had abortions without a second thought. A better argument would simply be that it doesn't matter why a woman wants an abortion: she should be allowed one because it's her body and her choice.

I stumbled across a forum which was for people suffering from 'gender disappointment' . Some of the ladies on there would get pregnant, have a harmony test done to find out the sex of the fetus, and of it was the 'wrong' sex they abort and try again. No skin off their nose, no harm done attitude.

I've never known a woman who made the decision lightly. But even if some do, so what? If you're truly pro choice, you don't slap a minimum amount on how much someone is supposed to think about it. Especially for this, when the earlier it's done, the better.

@DrSbaitso, that's my whole point. It doesn't matter how much thought the woman gives the abortion. It's irrelevant, and that's why "no woman aborts a baby lightly" isn't a useful argument.

Completely agree

I agree. The media presents abortion as an agonising, upsetting choice that women only turn to in desperation.

I had an unplanned pregnancy in my twenties, didn't even think twice. Phoned the doctor, got it all arranged then went in and had it. Took one day off work.

I had not one agonising moment and nor did I think long and hard over my decision, the same way that if you have toothache you don't think long and hard about ringing the dentist.

I'd rather not have had to have my termination, but it had no mental or physical impact on me at all.

What do you base your opinions on?

Have you actually spoken to the women that you describe in your post?

I think it’s to try and make abortion more ‘palatable’ to those who disagree or are on the fence. But you’re right of course, some women make their decision to terminate very easily and don’t even think about it.

I agree.
The way abortion is sometimes spoken about so trivially makes me really sad.

I had an abortion young. No trauma. My best friend had two, no ahame. No agonizing. She was just young.

It's the same for everything, women are only allowed to make their own choices if it is still agonising and they still conform to society ideals of femininity. Same as how child free women aren't allowed to say they don't like children and don't want anything to do with them, they must 'have thought long and hard' and chosen to 'remain dedicated aunties'.

Yes I agree. I actually know a few people like this. They've had multiple abortions, and they really don't think twice about it.
In all honesty though, it's probably best if those people don't have children. If they can take a decision like that so lightly, they won't make very good parents. We'll the ones I know don't anyway.

Abortion is simply going back to life exactly as it was before.

Its more thought provoking to keep a pregnancy imo.

A woman should have an abortion simply because she wants one, it's not the bloody xfactor where there needs to be a sob story.

@TunMahla the 1950s called, they want your attitude back.

It's much like the "traumatic" trope every goes on about too. As though every abortion is a really traumatic experience for a woman no matter the circumstances. That's simply not true, certainly wasn't for me. It wasn't a pleasant situation obviously but there was no trauma involved. These terms are just bandied about to make the concept more palatable I think, as though it's so inconceivable that a woman would go against her motherly instincts. So when she feels she has absolutely no choice but to abort she must be traumatised - it's infantilising and comes from a moralising position.

I agree. The media presents abortion as an agonising, upsetting choice that women only turn to in desperation.

I’ve never thought about this before. It’s very true - it’s like abortion still needs to be excused somehow to make it ‘better’ or acceptable when of course it should need no excuse. You simply need to not want to go through with a pregnancy, that’s it.

Yes yes yes pedal pushers

Lots of typos but you get the gist!

I agree OP. The phrase is a double edged sword. Saying “no woman aborts a baby lightly” might be intended to reassure anti-abortionists that it’s a heavy decision with much thought and agony. But it doesn’t change anti-abortionists minds much at all because it doesn’t address why they are against abortion (unborn right to life trumps women’s right to bodily autonomy).

What that phrase DOES do is creates a societal expectation for women to feel they must agonise over the decision and adequately justify an abortion to all and sundry in order to be deserving of one. It creates internal and external judgement of women’s reasons for an abortion, when they don’t need a reason beyond the fact they don’t want a baby.

In the end, it doesn’t matter to me what reasons a woman has, whether I agree with these or not, whether it is her first abortion or her twelfth. It is her decision to make and any restriction on that affects all women. Even in an ideal world where contraception is safe and easily available and where women are offered every support to continue a pregnancy, there will be women who need to seek abortion and I hope they will be able to do so - safely and as early as possible.

Completely agree. I've had a couple of friends over the years use abortion as a form of birth control instead of using contraception. Absolutely no skin off their noses, no agonising before or after.

@StarCat2020

What do you base your opinions on?

Have you actually spoken to the women that you describe in your post?

I am one of those women. POTS Friday tea time, on the phone to Marie Stopes Sat morning. Didn't want a child, it was a total no-brainer. No regrets, in fact it was one of my more sensible decisions.

Five minutes after posting my reply and already so many notifications. I just find that abortion pushers really like for everyone to approve of abortion... It is like they almost know something is wrong with that attitude so feel uncomfortable with anyone disagreeing lol.