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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to end it over this?

700 replies

ilovehalloumi · 11/09/2021 06:36

Been seeing a lovely bloke for 3/4 months, all going well. Treats me great, loads in common, fantastic sex.

Took me out for dinner tonight, ended up in a few cocktail bars, both got fairly drunk.

Got back to mine, went to bed, I woke up a couple of hours later to him PISSING IN THE CORNER OF MY ROOM!!

He's stayed over a few times, definitely knows where the bathroom is.

I'm properly grossed out, obviously when he wakes he will be cleaning it up. I've hardly slept because I feel properly furious.

WIBU to tell him to leave and not come back? I've texted my bestie but since it's 6.30am I imagine she won't reply for a while.....so I'm asking you Mumsnet

OP posts:
HintofVintagePink · 11/09/2021 08:05

Vile behaviour. I had an ex who once got so drunk he got down on all fours, pulled his trousers down and pissed all over the bedroom rug. It’s not ‘normal’. If you’ve had so much to drink your brain can’t get your body to a toilet then you’ve got a drinking problem.

Get rid OP. Your DS deserves better than a home with piss stained carpets.

Original poster
ilovehalloumi · 11/09/2021 08:05

Not young and childless, both mid 30's.

To be honest I'm more pissed off with his reaction, I kind of expected some grovelling at the least.

He's left now, I'm going to get another hours sleep and eat all the croissants I bought us for this morning Grinsilver linings eh

I'll decide what to do later, unless an apology is forthcoming he has really fucked it though.

Also, for the last time, we really weren't that drunk.

OP posts:
Skatastic · 11/09/2021 08:05

My ex pissed in my underwear drawer once. He wasn't even drunk he was sleep pissing.

HintofVintagePink · 11/09/2021 08:05

*DD, apologies

HurryUpAndWait23 · 11/09/2021 08:05

@Plumtree391

The pair of them getting so wasted?
Typical Mumsnet response, reading stuff that isn't there.
If the OP was that wasted, she wouldn't have woken up to the pissing man in the corner.

Jeez 🙄

cestunestilo · 11/09/2021 08:06

IME it's something that often occurs in males when they have a bit too much to drink . It's gross and he should be held responsible. As I bet it's not the first time it's happened. Don't say 'it's ok I dealt with it' as it will happen again.
Let him clean up - book a steam clean etc and tell him you are utterly disgusted and he's out if it ever happens again. Nip this in the bud. If he's great and this is his only fault - then let him own it, deal with it and apologise.

Moonlitdoor · 11/09/2021 08:06

My ex did this and I found out so did his mum! I bet it's not the first time given his reaction. What I can't understand is, if you know alcohol makes you do this, why carry on drinking? I'd never drink again.

whatthejiggeries · 11/09/2021 08:07

My DH also did this once

HeartsAndClubs · 11/09/2021 08:09

Shocked to see the number of women defending men behaving like absolute animals because they’ve been drinking. There’s often a saying on here that drink lowers your inhibitions so if you do something when you drink then that’s likely the person you are.

My eXH used to work with a bloke who used to regularly go out and get paralytic on a Friday/Saturday night to the extent he would fall asleep on trains and end up having to pay £££ for taxi’s back from the back of beyond, and then used to come home and piss up the curtains etc. She just used to laugh it off.

Sorry but I think that this says as much about the person excusing it than it does about the person doing it.

And that’s before we get to his attitude.

OP I’m glad you got rid.

And some of you on here need to raise your standards.

Hellotoallmyfans · 11/09/2021 08:09

I wouldn't have dumped my now dh for doing this 4 months in bc I really, really liked him at that point and I know it's something men do sometimes when drunk .(it's happened to loads of friends of mines DH's and my ds has done it too).

So the fact you are going to end things with him over this make me think you're not that into him anyway so it's probably for the best that he pissed in your corner as now you have an excuse!

Plumtree391 · 11/09/2021 08:10

[quote HurryUpAndWait23]@Plumtree391

The pair of them getting so wasted?
Typical Mumsnet response, reading stuff that isn't there.
If the OP was that wasted, she wouldn't have woken up to the pissing man in the corner.

Jeez 🙄[/quote]
Well she did say they were both pretty drunk. Obviously he was more drunk than her.

Anyway it's over now, he's cleaned it up and hopefully she will not see him again.

DifferentHair · 11/09/2021 08:11

This is disgusting, I can't believe all the women on the thread who have tolerated it.

If this was what happened when I drank- I would be mortified and never get drunk again!!

sadsack987 · 11/09/2021 08:12

Was just talking to dh about this. He used to do it in his youth (never with me). He said it wasn't every time he was drunk and he didn't have to be really pissed. Every time he thought he was in the toilet and he wasn't aware that he wasnt.

However, he said he knew it was grim and he was always embarrassed. He always cleaned it up without being asked. He also had a history of sleep walking and also had issues with bed wetting for quite a long time as a child so his reflexes in that regard aren't great (he still goes 3 times a night now but thankfully wakes up!).

Doing it = grim and unpleasant but not in itself dumpable. Being a twat and being angry with you = well shot.

Sorry You had a shit time OP

pinkstripeycat · 11/09/2021 08:12

It’s a common thing for men who can’t hold their booze. He’ll do it again I can assure you

Hellotoallmyfans · 11/09/2021 08:13

To be honest I'm more pissed off with his reaction, I kind of expected some grovelling at the least.

Was he very embarrassed maybe? I don't blame you at all for making him clean it up btw and I'd be pissed off too but I think if you really like him you could forgive him the one time. I wouldn't want to be with someone who made a habit of getting so drunk he pissed on the carpet though.

Magicstars · 11/09/2021 08:13

This isn’t that unusual sadly.
It depends on the wider context. If he’s lovely, then see what his response is today. Likely he’ll be mortified & clean it up!
If his response Is otherwise then you’ll want to reconsider things.
As someone who occasionally Does odd things while asleep i’d encourage you to go east on him, provided he reacts appropriately when you tell him!

midsummabreak · 11/09/2021 08:13

I don’t buy that story that some men would have you think that they can’t help but piss in the corner when drunk.

You and your DD is so much better off without him around.

Magicstars · 11/09/2021 08:13

easy

midsummabreak · 11/09/2021 08:14

*are so much better off

Whinge · 11/09/2021 08:14

@Hellotoallmyfans

I wouldn't have dumped my now dh for doing this 4 months in bc I really, really liked him at that point and I know it's something men do sometimes when drunk .(it's happened to loads of friends of mines DH's and my ds has done it too).

So the fact you are going to end things with him over this make me think you're not that into him anyway so it's probably for the best that he pissed in your corner as now you have an excuse!

Or it shows that the OP would rather be with a person who respects her property, and apologises for his mistakes, rather than throwing a hissy fit because he's been told to clean up a mess he made.

OP is well rid in my opinion.

EmKayEm · 11/09/2021 08:15

Ex housemate had a bf that was like this.
Would get hammered and then piss in the wardrobe in his sleep...
Didn't last long.

OwlinaTree · 11/09/2021 08:16

His reaction was not great, I expect he is embarrassed.

My DH did this once at a stag do. He said he woke up as someone was shouting and he was peeing all over another bloke's clothes on a chair. He was so embarrassed the next day. I also remember someone I worked with pissing in a drawer in her room after a night out. So it happens.

What do you think op? Do you think you want to see him again if he apologizes properly?

HeartsAndClubs · 11/09/2021 08:16

So the fact you are going to end things with him over this make me think you're not that into him anyway so it's probably for the best that he pissed in your corner as now you have an excuse! sorry but it wouldn’t matter how much I liked him. Pissing in the corner would be an instant turnoff for me and I would never want to go near him again.

Even if we had an established relationship it would make me think twice about what kind of person he was.

pictish · 11/09/2021 08:17

@Hellotoallmyfans

I wouldn't have dumped my now dh for doing this 4 months in bc I really, really liked him at that point and I know it's something men do sometimes when drunk .(it's happened to loads of friends of mines DH's and my ds has done it too).

So the fact you are going to end things with him over this make me think you're not that into him anyway so it's probably for the best that he pissed in your corner as now you have an excuse!

“Been seeing a lovely bloke for 3/4 months, all going well. Treats me great, loads in common, fantastic sex.”

She sounds like she’s fond of him to say the least?

The problem is, he’s annoyed that she’s annoyed. He didn’t offer an apology. That’s a far greater indication of who he is than the actual pissing is.

category12 · 11/09/2021 08:17

The problem is, he’s annoyed that she’s annoyed. He didn’t offer an apology. That’s a far greater indication of who he is than the actual pissing is.

This