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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to end it over this?

700 replies

ilovehalloumi · 11/09/2021 06:36

Been seeing a lovely bloke for 3/4 months, all going well. Treats me great, loads in common, fantastic sex.

Took me out for dinner tonight, ended up in a few cocktail bars, both got fairly drunk.

Got back to mine, went to bed, I woke up a couple of hours later to him PISSING IN THE CORNER OF MY ROOM!!

He's stayed over a few times, definitely knows where the bathroom is.

I'm properly grossed out, obviously when he wakes he will be cleaning it up. I've hardly slept because I feel properly furious.

WIBU to tell him to leave and not come back? I've texted my bestie but since it's 6.30am I imagine she won't reply for a while.....so I'm asking you Mumsnet

OP posts:
Whinge · 11/09/2021 07:52

@ilovehalloumi

Yeah I'm angry at that comment. He hasn't actually even said sorry yet, he appears to have done a pretty good job cleaning it though.
He hasn't said sorry. Shock

Get rid OP. His attitude stinks as much as his piss.

Mrgrinch · 11/09/2021 07:53

Oh god you've got carpet. I'd make him pay for a professional clean, that's going to stink on a hot day.

Eralos · 11/09/2021 07:53

Yabu he was sleepwalking just because he’s never done it before doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. You’re acting as if he’s done this on purpose. Ask him to clean it up. That’s it.

BritishSummertime · 11/09/2021 07:54

I've never heard of a woman doing this.

I know a woman who weed on a chair on a hotel balcony abroad thinking it was a toilet (she was v v drunk)

Original poster
ilovehalloumi · 11/09/2021 07:54

I've told him to leave. Still no apology....

OP posts:
Wagglerock · 11/09/2021 07:55

This would give me the ick so it'll be over anyway.

Hope your carpet cleans up ok.

Shurl · 11/09/2021 07:55

Yeah, his response would be it for me. Bin him off

lannistunut · 11/09/2021 07:55

@ilovehalloumi

I've told him to leave. Still no apology....
No apology = no coming back from this IMO.
Plumtree391 · 11/09/2021 07:55

If this isn't a wind up then kick the bloke out as soon as he wakes! I would have had a go at him at the time and not left it until later.

The pair of you getting so wasted is not a very attractive thing to do, frankly, please avoid that in future. Things are generally much nicer when you are sober or have just had a drink to relax you.

No doubt the will say he doesn't remember or was too pissed to care but - end it.

Original poster
ilovehalloumi · 11/09/2021 07:56

Getting his stuff together and said this - "just so you know, first thing I remember is you telling me what I was doing"

Not apologising, seems almost angry at me. I think he's embarrassed.

OP posts:
AtrociousCircumstance · 11/09/2021 07:58

Fucking hell. What a pathetic, petulant dickhead. That’s shocking. No shame, no apology, angry at you??!

ModerateOven · 11/09/2021 07:58

An ex did this when drunk once. It was like he was sleepwalking; in his head he was in the toilet apparently

A friend's husband has done this a few times over several years, always on occasions when he's been extremely drunk. In his case it was the wardrobe. He genuinely thought he was in the toilet. I've known it happen with a couple of other friends too. I feel sorry for this bloke as well as OP because he's going to be mortified. I couldn't be angry with him for it. He'll feel bad enough already.

Original poster
ilovehalloumi · 11/09/2021 07:58

@Plumtree391

If this isn't a wind up then kick the bloke out as soon as he wakes! I would have had a go at him at the time and not left it until later.

The pair of you getting so wasted is not a very attractive thing to do, frankly, please avoid that in future. Things are generally much nicer when you are sober or have just had a drink to relax you.

No doubt the will say he doesn't remember or was too pissed to care but - end it.

As I've said, not a wind up.

We weren't paralytic, we have both been more drunk, without a doubt. Not that I need to justify myself.

He's left now.

OP posts:
Original poster
ilovehalloumi · 11/09/2021 07:58

@AtrociousCircumstance

Fucking hell. What a pathetic, petulant dickhead. That’s shocking. No shame, no apology, angry at you??!
Petulant is the right word right now!!
OP posts:
Freeloadingtosser · 11/09/2021 07:59

Well done for kicking him out, even if he was embarrassed he's old enough to know that a profuse apology would have been appropriate, not this.

Plumtree391 · 11/09/2021 08:00

@ilovehalloumi

He is not as mortified as I would fucking be. He didn't offer to clean it, I told him to.
I'm sorry he hasn't apologised but glad you woke him and he has cleaned it up.

Get rid of him quickly and don't see him again.

I'm shocked to read you have a daughter who will be coming home soon, I imagined you as young and childless; thank goodness she will never know about this. Please never get so drunk again and certainly not with a 'boyfriend' of short acquaintance!

Now - onwards and upwards. I'm glad you don't have a hangover.

armanted · 11/09/2021 08:00

I remember my step dad doing this. He opened the wardrobe door and pissed in one of my mum's new boots. She was furious and laughing all at the same time.

He never did it again.

Mumoblue · 11/09/2021 08:00

If he was that embarrassed by what he had done he would have cleaned up without you asking and apologised repeatedly. He’s embarrassed you called him out on it. You’re better off without him.

Also, shocked by how many people have experience with this! 🤢

pictish · 11/09/2021 08:01

@ilovehalloumi

To be honest 'oh so you're angry with me' wasn't the ideal comment to make to me
I agree with this 100%.

Now I have known a handful of blokes (and one woman) over the years to have sleep-pissed after drinking. One friend of mine awoke to see her boyfriend peeing on the curtains in her bay window. My husband once woke up to see his woman flatmate crouched on the floor in his room. I have a few other examples. It’s not unheard of.
The response tells all. Anything less than a sincere apology and clean up is frankly, objectionable. If you’ve done wrong, own it. If you’ve pissed on someone’s floor, fucking clean it.

In your case he is intimating that you are the problem…and there’s not enough get the fuck out of here to throw at that. You can’t do anything with such base disrespect. Massive red flag.

Pinkdelight3 · 11/09/2021 08:01

No apology is terrible. YANBU.

I see from the thread how common this is, but the only two men I've known who've done - both boyfriends of my close friends - turned out to have drinking problems and it was part and parcel of that. As was the ability to acclimatise to it and treat it as though it was just 'one of those things', rather than apologising/cleaning it up immediately/drinking less in future. So although there is no doubt a contingent of nice guys who just happen to do this in a strange place after minimal drinks, on balance - and especially after his shitty reaction - best to sack him off.

Freeloadingtosser · 11/09/2021 08:02

plumtree shes already said she wasn't that drunk, he was the one who peed in the corner, not her. What has her level of inebriation got to do with this?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 11/09/2021 08:02

I’d be cross about the reaction, more than the incident. I’d wait and see how/whether he follows up but I don’t think I’d be getting in touch first.

Whydidimarryhim · 11/09/2021 08:03

Does he drink a lot when he’s with you - could he have a drink problem - he needs to apologies and clean it up and leave.

Pregnantpeppa · 11/09/2021 08:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sleepyquest · 11/09/2021 08:05

I think he's highly embarrassed hence the almost being defensive and not apologising. I bet he'll text you later being very apologetic. I'd be mortified.

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