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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to end it over this?

700 replies

ilovehalloumi · 11/09/2021 06:36

Been seeing a lovely bloke for 3/4 months, all going well. Treats me great, loads in common, fantastic sex.

Took me out for dinner tonight, ended up in a few cocktail bars, both got fairly drunk.

Got back to mine, went to bed, I woke up a couple of hours later to him PISSING IN THE CORNER OF MY ROOM!!

He's stayed over a few times, definitely knows where the bathroom is.

I'm properly grossed out, obviously when he wakes he will be cleaning it up. I've hardly slept because I feel properly furious.

WIBU to tell him to leave and not come back? I've texted my bestie but since it's 6.30am I imagine she won't reply for a while.....so I'm asking you Mumsnet

OP posts:
EarringsandLipstick · 11/09/2021 07:41

@category12

Bizarre that you let him get back into bed instead of cleaning it up then and there.

Really?

Who leaves a pool of piss to soak in all night? Confused

Agree. OP really, you've left it there while posting on MN?! I'm not saying you should clean it but how could you have left him ignore it & get back into bed?

He needs to clean it. Now.

felulageller · 11/09/2021 07:41

Yukthaysjidt gross

EarringsandLipstick · 11/09/2021 07:42

@ilovehalloumi

He is doing it now
Cross post.

Off with him after this.

EarringsandLipstick · 11/09/2021 07:42

You still left it there for at least an hour. Christ. What were you thinking?

He should have been told to sort it as soon as he did it.

Whinge · 11/09/2021 07:43

@ilovehalloumi

He is doing it now
Has he apologised? Also what is he using to clean it up? If it's been there for several hours it could have soaked into the carpet so may need to be professionally cleaned.
Original poster
ilovehalloumi · 11/09/2021 07:44

Well he wasn't cleaning it up and I wasn't going to! I woke him up with carpet shampoo

OP posts:
Burnamer · 11/09/2021 07:44

For me the key thing would be his attitude this morning. If he was apologetic, did an excellent job of the cleaning and then was cautious about drinking so much again so as not to repeat the episode, then I’d probably forgive.
If he was dismissive and expected me to accept it I’d be rethinking the relationship.

Original poster
ilovehalloumi · 11/09/2021 07:45

To be honest 'oh so you're angry with me' wasn't the ideal comment to make to me

OP posts:
category12 · 11/09/2021 07:45

But you said you followed him to the bathroom and spoke to him about it, so why didn't you tell him he wasn't getting back into bed until he dealt with it?

Original poster
ilovehalloumi · 11/09/2021 07:46

@category12

But you said you followed him to the bathroom and spoke to him about it, so why didn't you tell him he wasn't getting back into bed until he dealt with it?
Because I had been drinking and was tired. I should have done
OP posts:
BarryTheKestrel · 11/09/2021 07:47

I can name a handful of men I know who have done this at one point or another. They aren't doing it maliciously, it's not intentional.

However the fact that when you woke him up he immediately knew why says that despite maybe not being initially aware you woke him up enough at the time to realise and he still felt it was appropriate to just get back into bed instead of cleaning it up.

He cleans, he leaves. He'd have to work hard to prove he wasn't actually a selfish fucker intentionally leaving me a puddle of piss to clean up because his desire for sleep was more important.

Mumoblue · 11/09/2021 07:47

Yeah, end it.

“Don’t piss on my bedroom floor” isn’t an unreasonable standard to have, but “you can piss on my bedroom floor and I’ll forgive you” is a staggering precedent to set.

lannistunut · 11/09/2021 07:47

Oh dear! It is not unheard of. How he responds is the important thing.

Was he mortified?

Original poster
ilovehalloumi · 11/09/2021 07:48

He is not as mortified as I would fucking be. He didn't offer to clean it, I told him to.

OP posts:
Original poster
ilovehalloumi · 11/09/2021 07:49

I'm actually more pissed off with his response.

OP posts:
PurpleOkapi · 11/09/2021 07:49

YABU for leaving a puddle of pee on the floor rather than either waking him up and making him clean it right then, or just cleaning it up yourself. Even if you never see him again, you're still going to be stuck with the carpet and the smell.

Original poster
ilovehalloumi · 11/09/2021 07:49

@PurpleOkapi

YABU for leaving a puddle of pee on the floor rather than either waking him up and making him clean it right then, or just cleaning it up yourself. Even if you never see him again, you're still going to be stuck with the carpet and the smell.
Fair point. I should have done.
OP posts:
HurryUpAndWait23 · 11/09/2021 07:49

@ilovehalloumi

To be honest 'oh so you're angry with me' wasn't the ideal comment to make to me
I agree. That was a comment that fanned the flames. Or at least it would have done for me.

That would be the straw that broke the camels back.

I knew a guy who would ALWAYS piss the bed when he got drunk. It didn't really matter how drunk he got, it would happen every time.

TomFuckery · 11/09/2021 07:51

His response speaks volumes.
Get shot of him.

Original poster
ilovehalloumi · 11/09/2021 07:51

Yeah I'm angry at that comment. He hasn't actually even said sorry yet, he appears to have done a pretty good job cleaning it though.

OP posts:
Pheebs2021 · 11/09/2021 07:51

His response is what would make me question the relationship there are so many other more appropriate responses all of which involve you not cleaning it up and him doing it without moaning.

MadamBatty · 11/09/2021 07:51

I sleepwalk, I’ve done housework in my sleep.

I’ve never peed where I shouldn’t…why is that?

Goatinthegarden · 11/09/2021 07:52

I remember an ex of mine did this years ago. Funny though, I've never heard of a woman doing this...

A man can pee anywhere standing up, a woman would need to physically sit on something. An episode of Geordie Shore will show you that some inebriated women are also capable of unsavoury urinating though.

Do they ever do this when they live alone? Or only when a woman is around who may clean it up?

You probably wouldn’t find out because they would probably tidy it up and not tell anyone. I doubt most of them do it on purpose. I know someone who died in their late forties doing it. He hadn’t been drinking but was staying in a holiday home with his wife. He got up in the night to use the toilet and the holiday home had a steep staircase roughly where his bathroom door would have been in his own house. He fell down the stairs and fatally hit his head.

category12 · 11/09/2021 07:52

It's the not rushing to clean up after himself that's the kicker.

Drunken sleep-pissing is gross but not malicious, but needing telling to sort it out afterwards is gross and disrespectful.

Original poster
ilovehalloumi · 11/09/2021 07:52

@MadamBatty

I sleepwalk, I’ve done housework in my sleep.

I’ve never peed where I shouldn’t…why is that?

I would be much less angry if he'd run the vacuum round in his sleep 🤣
OP posts:
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