Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to end it over this?

700 replies

ilovehalloumi · 11/09/2021 06:36

Been seeing a lovely bloke for 3/4 months, all going well. Treats me great, loads in common, fantastic sex.

Took me out for dinner tonight, ended up in a few cocktail bars, both got fairly drunk.

Got back to mine, went to bed, I woke up a couple of hours later to him PISSING IN THE CORNER OF MY ROOM!!

He's stayed over a few times, definitely knows where the bathroom is.

I'm properly grossed out, obviously when he wakes he will be cleaning it up. I've hardly slept because I feel properly furious.

WIBU to tell him to leave and not come back? I've texted my bestie but since it's 6.30am I imagine she won't reply for a while.....so I'm asking you Mumsnet

OP posts:
QueenoftheFarts · 11/09/2021 07:05

It's gross but I think he was sleepwalking. I wouldn't end a relationship over this. My son once sleepwalked into our bedroom and attempted to piss on his dad's head. Not a shadow of doubt in my mind that the kid was asleep. He also once pissed down the stairs. Again fast asleep. A feiends husband once did it in a hotel and sheworked he'd taken the exact same steps as to the en suite at home. A guy who is positively anal about cleanliness... he was of course horrified.... People do gross things when both pissed and asleep....

KellyJonesLeatherTrousers · 11/09/2021 07:07

Definitely not uncommon! It’s not something he consciously did. Imagine being dumped for something you said in your sleep? Same thing. As long as he’s cleaned up, I wouldn’t do anything else.

ScrumptiousBears · 11/09/2021 07:07

I've heard quite a few stories like this and I do think it's fairly common. DP has never done but on the very odd occasion he's got up in the night but not gone straight our the bedroom door I ask him what he's doing and it often wakes him and he finds his way. I k or my dad did it in a cupboard once when I was a kid. My mum lost the plot Grin

Original poster
ilovehalloumi · 11/09/2021 07:09

Hmmmm okay, maybe I'm being harsh. Shall see what his response is this morning

OP posts:
patchoulicloud · 11/09/2021 07:09

This is really common and I'm quite surprised at the horror and revulsion! Yes it's grim but it's not deliberate and not like they're consciously choosing to piss in the wrong place.
I knew someone who pissed all over her own shoes as she opened the wrong door when she was very drunk.

This happened to me when I was ill and hallucinating.

If he reacts badly, if it keeps happening or if there is other stuff not going well then I'd end it but otherwise, I'd see how it goes. It might never happen again.

Oldtiredfedup · 11/09/2021 07:09

This is actually a thing. Sleep walking in strange houses after drinking.

It has happened to me twice. Both times I was where I would have been if I was in my own home in the bathroom. The second time I actually physically moved heavy furniture. It terrified the life out of me.

It doesn’t make me a disgusting pig.

Whataroyalannoyance · 11/09/2021 07:13

If base my decision on his reaction when he wakes up. If he trys to laugh it off, tell you you're over reacting then bin him. If he's embarrassed, immediately cleans it up then just make sure you know how to wake him if it happens again

Mummadeze · 11/09/2021 07:13

I’ve done this a few times after heavy drinking in the past. It is embarrassing but he won’t have been aware. I would be a bit more sympathetic in your shoes.

Wole · 11/09/2021 07:13

I had no idea this was a thing!

garlictwist · 11/09/2021 07:14

My other half occasional does this if he's had a few drinks. He is sleep walking and not really with it. It's not something he would ever do on purpose. Cut the guy some slack.

Oldtiredfedup · 11/09/2021 07:15

I also was staying in a hotel with someone and this happened to them - the elevator, which was roughly where their bathroom would have been.

They she could have been seriously hurt.

CandidaAlbicans2 · 11/09/2021 07:22

It's revolting but he was obviously sleepwalking and was disorientated due to the booze, rather than it being a deliberate act. Whether I could forgive him or not would depend entirely on his reaction this morning. However, I'd be wary of ever letting him sleep at mine when drunk in case it happened again 😬

barbrahunter · 11/09/2021 07:23

I remember an ex of mine did this years ago. Funny though, I've never heard of a woman doing this....

takehomepay · 11/09/2021 07:23

@Beeinalily

Oh poor bloke! The answer is for neither of you to get that pissed in the future.
Why does OP have to change her behaviour because of him?
Queenoftheashes · 11/09/2021 07:23

My ex did this, he was always very embarrassed about it. Luckily never in my house! But I saw him do it in his bedroom and a hotel room.

takehomepay · 11/09/2021 07:24

Do they ever do this when they live alone? Or only when a woman is around who may clean it up?

Midnightstar76 · 11/09/2021 07:27

I would be on the forgiving side. He was most likely sleep walking and didn’t know he did this and genuinely thought he was using the bathroom. My husband has done this, only once mind you quite a few years ago and had no idea what he had done the next day.

R0tational · 11/09/2021 07:28

That is disgusting. If I did anything like that I would to drink to that level again.... I dont think I could have slept though..probably would have cleaned up myself.

category12 · 11/09/2021 07:35

Bizarre that you let him get back into bed instead of cleaning it up then and there.

Really?

Who leaves a pool of piss to soak in all night? Confused

kaleidoscopeheartless · 11/09/2021 07:35

It's not exactly the nicest thing to of happened but I wouldn't end the start of what seems a good relationship over it. Get him to clean it up or even better pay for a professional to get over it too.

Original poster
ilovehalloumi · 11/09/2021 07:36

Woke him up, he knew immediately why I was pissed off so he remembered doing it. His first comment was 'oh so your angry at me then'

OP posts:
Blanca87 · 11/09/2021 07:39

Did he clean it up, though?

Original poster
ilovehalloumi · 11/09/2021 07:39

He is doing it now

OP posts:
EarringsandLipstick · 11/09/2021 07:39

@FreyaHazel

Wake him up right now, make him clean it up immediately. Then chuck him out and never contact him again.
💯 this.

Vile.

HollowTalk · 11/09/2021 07:41

I know he should be the one to clean it up but I couldn't sleep in a room with a puddle of pee in it.