WIBU to end it over this?

[ilovehalloumi]

Been seeing a lovely bloke for 3/4 months, all going well. Treats me great, loads in common, fantastic sex.

Took me out for dinner tonight, ended up in a few cocktail bars, both got fairly drunk.

Got back to mine, went to bed, I woke up a couple of hours later to him PISSING IN THE CORNER OF MY ROOM!!

He's stayed over a few times, definitely knows where the bathroom is.

I'm properly grossed out, obviously when he wakes he will be cleaning it up. I've hardly slept because I feel properly furious.

WIBU to tell him to leave and not come back? I've texted my bestie but since it's 6.30am I imagine she won't reply for a while.....so I'm asking you Mumsnet

My son did something very similar and was completely unaware of his mistake and hugely embarrassed in the morning. Give the guy some slack unless you planned to end the relationship anyway.

Years ago my ex hubby and a mate went out drinking and his mate stayed over, I woke in the night to find his mate in our room pissing on our bed, I’ve never screamed so loud in my life he wasn’t even awake my hubby had to lead him out of our room and put him to bed again. He didn’t even remember in the morning but it scared me for life lol

My Dad apparently found me on a window ledge when I was a child. Had to.get me down. This was first floor! As far as I know that is my one and only sleep walking experience. Anyway back to you - pretty disgusting if he was aware of it but hopefully he has no idea what he did though obviously he needs to scrub the carpet/floor now. Not sure I'd worry what a chatroom full of strangers think of it

Well clearly it is common because look at how many of us have stories about it.
And it's not just men...I have peed the bed twice both when going through very stressful life situations and having had some drinks. So now I know I just can't drink when stressed.

The people who I know who have done it are all completely different. It's not like it's just the fact we hang around with some horrible boozer bed pissers because we are so low class which is kind of what's being implied by some on here.
One was a girl me and my bf were mate's with, she was a professional, 25 and just happened to get absolutely paralytic one night (didn't eat) and tried to pee in our cupboard. She was mortified the next day and really isn't something you'd ever have expected if you looked at her.
My FIL was a tech teacher and is a very nice man. He just should have gone for a wee before bed but I understand there was one tiny toilet upstairs and it was occupied for a while when we all got home and needed to pee/brush teeth etc and he'd obviously fallen asleep waiting and then peed the bed.
And then the guy who my friend had to take sheets around for...well he was just a boozer who drank too much and was too stupid to change his ways. I honestly can't believe my friend put up with it but they ended up married and happy so 🤷

But my point is: anyone could do it..even those who seem repulsed right now...you never know what will happen in the future and if it does happen, you would maybe like some understanding shown towards you.

@Greytminds

It’s not an uncommon sleep walking thing to do, especially in an unfamiliar place and drunk. He’s likely to be extremely embarrassed when he realises. I’d have woken him at the time to deal with it to be honest, rather than silently fume. He’s no doubt completely unaware. Not sure what you had to gain by not dealing with it.

I had an acquaintance at uni who was renowned for doing this regularly. An ex boyfriend of mine also did it once. He was mortified and it didn’t happen again in the five years we were together.

I wouldn’t necessarily bin him off because of this. Agree it’s grim but I can’t imagine there was any negative intent and if he’s amazing in every other way….

This. Of course feels weird and upsetting but he won’t know that he did it. I would stick something there like an old towel to soak up you don’t want it soaking into the floor then have it out in morning. Was alcohol he’ll probably be mortified. If not THEN I might have second thoughts about him.

@grapewine

People on MN are always ready to scream LTB from their sofas when they probably wouldn’t IRL.

I definitely wouldn't put up with a man pissing in the corner of my bedroom in real life. Fuck that.

If that means I'll be single for life, then I'll have to deal with that.

Same here. I left an abusive relationship and I now have little patience for poor behaviour. I would definitely dump and move on for this.

Accidents happen, but this guy clearly wasn't mortified, with his comments to the OP, had to be asked to clean his own mess up, and didn't even apologise until hours afterwards.

That's what I'd dump for.

@SylvanasWindrunner

An ex did this when drunk once. It was like he was sleepwalking; in his head he was in the toilet apparently! I started shouting and he said something like 'It's okay, I'm going back to sleep' and attempted to get back into bed.

He was mortified when I managed to wake him up and spent a long time scrubbing! It only ever happened once, but it was very weird.

This. My ex did it when very drunk, it's not a deliberate act, he's probably not awake.

Agree with other posters, my Dad did it apparently many years ago, except it was....into the wardrobe!!! Guess it could have been worse OP! If he apologises and clears it up well...

@Shoxfordian

Yanbu

Wake him up, get him to clean it and chuck him out

Oh god give him a chance. It's a mistake not murder! He may have done it in his sleep. Why is everyone so quick to dump someone?? Wake him up, have a chat, give him cleaning products and let him get on with it and wait for the flowers /apology 💐everything else is good right? X

@WorkHardPlayHard1

Sorry my bar is slightly higher than a man who pisses in the corner of my room; something to aspire to eh?

@Shoxfordian - well good for you and your high bar! We are talking about someone who was more than likely sleep walking and thought he was using the toilet. He didn’t do it deliberately! My DH did the same once years ago. Never did it again. Shock horror I stayed married to him, he is a great husband and father to our 2 children, hard-working and all round good egg. I’m so glad my bar wasn’t as high as yours!

It happens with drink. Wouldn't be a deal breaker for me if it s a one off, he s embarrassed, pays for it, and never repeats it. . If the heavy drinking is a habit, that s a different matter.

I’m also very happily married to a man who’s never done this so good for me

@Shoxfordian - congratulations!

@Shoxfordian

I’m also very happily married to a man who’s never done this so good for me

Yet….

That is the point.

Will you immediately divorce him if he does? What with your high bar and all that

Obviously I will

@Shoxfordian

Obviously I will

Good for you I like a person who follows through

My boyfriend did this once. He has no recollection of doing it. We have been happily married for over 20 years. We laugh about it now. I don't think it's a big deal. He was in shock the next morning and confused. I hope you sort things out.

@sandycloud did he clean it up?

I like a person who follows through

Hopefully not in a wardrobe or the corner of a room

I've already commented upthread, but I think a lot of people debating on here are missing the point.

The main issue here isn't what he did, but his behaviour afterwards and how he didn't clean it up until OP asked. The OP has said she could get over the peeing but it was lack of embarrassment or offer to clean it which got to her, and I don't blame her at all.

It was over my fan heater. He did clear up and gave me money for a new one. I don't think he offered to clean up as such. He really didn't believe he'd done it till he inspected the damage. He's never done it again. One of his friends has got lost in hotels trying to find the loo. Got locked out with no clothes on.

My Dad did this, I remember Mum going mental

@Frazzledmummy123

I've already commented upthread, but I think a lot of people debating on here are missing the point.

The main issue here isn't what he did, but his behaviour afterwards and how he didn't clean it up until OP asked. The OP has said she could get over the peeing but it was lack of embarrassment or offer to clean it which got to her, and I don't blame her at all.

It's not just how many people think this is normal, but that they seem unable to understand the OP's reason for posting.

He was angry at her her being annoyed, nasty with it, and made no effort to clean HIS mess up.

I'm genuinely astounded that so many think this is ok.

It does explain so many threads on here though.🤷‍♀️

It does explain so many threads on here though.🤷‍♀️

A poster way back on this thread said she thought she'd woken up in Stepford...