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AIBU?

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Original poster

WIBU to end it over this?

700 replies

ilovehalloumi · 11/09/2021 06:36

Been seeing a lovely bloke for 3/4 months, all going well. Treats me great, loads in common, fantastic sex.

Took me out for dinner tonight, ended up in a few cocktail bars, both got fairly drunk.

Got back to mine, went to bed, I woke up a couple of hours later to him PISSING IN THE CORNER OF MY ROOM!!

He's stayed over a few times, definitely knows where the bathroom is.

I'm properly grossed out, obviously when he wakes he will be cleaning it up. I've hardly slept because I feel properly furious.

WIBU to tell him to leave and not come back? I've texted my bestie but since it's 6.30am I imagine she won't reply for a while.....so I'm asking you Mumsnet

OP posts:
beastlyslumber · 12/09/2021 21:27

He was probably mortified and felt humiliated which is why he reacted how he did.

If he was mortified and embarrassed why didn't he do or say anything that expressed that? Why did he act in a way that showed the opposite of mortification and embarrassment?

This is like 'he's mean to you because he fancies you' and 'he's not calling you because he's scared of how much he likes you' i.e. BULLSHIT. Stop making bullshit excuses for men.

OP if you are okay with cleaning up some bloke's piss from your carpet while he rolls his eyes at you for overreacting about it for the rest of your life, then definitely give this man another chance. On the other hand, you could ditch him and meet someone lovely who doesn't go about spraying piss all over your house.

grapewine · 12/09/2021 21:28

People on MN are always ready to scream LTB from their sofas when they probably wouldn’t IRL.

I definitely wouldn't put up with a man pissing in the corner of my bedroom in real life. Fuck that.

If that means I'll be single for life, then I'll have to deal with that.

EspressoDoubleShot · 12/09/2021 21:33

@Pr1mr0se

Sounds like he was just pissed. Personally wouldn't chuck a guy due to this as it's not entirely voluntary conscious behaviour. If it should happen that you are more sober than he is in future perhaps gently ensure he has a piss before he gets into bed!
He’s an adult man he doesn’t need his gf to prompt to empty bladder I prompt my children,they’re v young. Don’t prompt my adult partner What’s all this gentle widdle words to not upset the precious man. Fuck gentle & gently. Women don’t need to tip toe and be unimposing around drunk men.
NameWithChange · 12/09/2021 21:33

1st world problems.

I think he should dump YOU.

What a massive over reaction.

He had an 'accident' whilst drunk - the level of drunk is irrelevant, even sober he could have done it in his sleep. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

He's a decent bloke, you like everything else about him. He made a mistake.

Fuck you are hard work.

ColorMagicBarbie · 12/09/2021 21:41

I think you should cut the guy a break if he’s otherwise ok. I’d be mortified if I somehow accidentally got a bit of period blood on a bf’s sofa for instance and then was promptly dumped.

ElizabethBoland · 12/09/2021 21:44

This is so weird, this sounds like a guy I was dating, same age, I wonder hmmmm. Either way you’ve got the ick so I would dump him, like I did

Lightisnotwhite · 12/09/2021 21:45

@BudrosBudrosGalli

Wow! Standards are low today. So months/years down the line, she could be stuck with some disgusting bastard who pisses in corners or cupboards given the 'It's just a bit of urine' feedback. There was a recent thread about it.
Yeah but doing it regularly would indeed be the time to dump him. Not after one incident. I had along time ex who wee’d with amazing on on a small leather stool in the corner of the room. He was normally much cleaner and tidier than me, so just a one off.
UserEmptor · 12/09/2021 21:47

@NameWithChange

1st world problems.

I think he should dump YOU.

What a massive over reaction.

He had an 'accident' whilst drunk - the level of drunk is irrelevant, even sober he could have done it in his sleep. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

He's a decent bloke, you like everything else about him. He made a mistake.

Fuck you are hard work.

Hahahahahaha.

No, the OP is not hard work if she doesn't want a bloke she barely knows pissing in her bedroom.

GorgonzolaSouffle · 12/09/2021 21:54

He likes you
You like him

He made a mistake
He cleaned up
He apologised.

I think he’s probably mortified.

My brother has form for doing this and is always horrified afterwards.
He was sleepwalking.

I would move on and not break up with him.

Snoopsnoggysnog · 12/09/2021 21:56

@ColorMagicBarbie

I think you should cut the guy a break if he’s otherwise ok. I’d be mortified if I somehow accidentally got a bit of period blood on a bf’s sofa for instance and then was promptly dumped.
This is an ENTIRELY different scenario Hmm
Snoopsnoggysnog · 12/09/2021 21:56

@NameWithChange

1st world problems.

I think he should dump YOU.

What a massive over reaction.

He had an 'accident' whilst drunk - the level of drunk is irrelevant, even sober he could have done it in his sleep. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

He's a decent bloke, you like everything else about him. He made a mistake.

Fuck you are hard work.

ShockHmmConfused
Yorkshiretolondon · 12/09/2021 21:58

It’s alcohol and the unfamiliar - he will have been totally unaware - my hubby nearly once did this - same remit… alcohol and u familiar room….. he didn’t know he was doing it. Give him a break

ColorMagicBarbie · 12/09/2021 22:00

This is an ENTIRELY different scenario hmm

Yes, because they definitely don’t both involve somebody accidentally making an embarrassing mess.

Snoopsnoggysnog · 12/09/2021 22:01

@beastlyslumber

WTF where did all the people suddenly come from saying this is fine? All of a sudden 60 people turned up all saying the same thing. So fucking weird. Was there some kind of reddit MRA/incel post on this and you decided to brigade mumsnet to defend incontinent beta males?
This There are going to be so many trolls on this thread and it makes me sick
BudrosBudrosGalli · 12/09/2021 22:04

@ColorMagicBarbie

I think you should cut the guy a break if he’s otherwise ok. I’d be mortified if I somehow accidentally got a bit of period blood on a bf’s sofa for instance and then was promptly dumped.
WTF! Are you on glue! Those scenarios are not remotely similar!

Are some of you that desperate to have a man to tolerate someone this disgusting! My DH has never pissed in a corner or elsewhere whilst drunk. That is not ok and at the very least would require complete contrition and a totally unprompted major clean-up. It is unbelievable that some even sneer at the OP, trying to make her sound unreasonable about embarrassing the 'poor love'. Have I awoken in some alternate universe?

Snoopsnoggysnog · 12/09/2021 22:06

@ColorMagicBarbie

This is an ENTIRELY different scenario hmm

Yes, because they definitely don’t both involve somebody accidentally making an embarrassing mess.

Because if you got period blood on a sofa it wouldn’t be because you were drunk. It would be a relatively normal accident, you’d apologise and try to clean it straight away. You wouldn’t be an arse about it and then text an apology hours later. Come on.
CottageOnTheHill · 12/09/2021 22:07

I’m going against the general consensus on here but NO WAY would I put up with anyone urinating anywhere else in my house other than the toilet! If people can’t get themselves to the toilet when alcohol is involved then it’s time to give up drinking imo. It would be a deal breaker for me, it’s disgusting.

ColorMagicBarbie · 12/09/2021 22:07

I bet people would be sympathetic if a woman posted on here saying she’d somehow lost control of her bowels whilst in bed with her new boyfriend and was mortified. Defo wouldn’t be telling he to hang her head in shame and prepare to be dumped. Double standards pure and simple.

Snoopsnoggysnog · 12/09/2021 22:08

@BudrosBudrosGalli some sense at last 🙌🏻

ColorMagicBarbie · 12/09/2021 22:10

Because if you got period blood on a sofa it wouldn’t be because you were drunk.

So he was wrong to drink even though the OP was? It’s clearly not something he does every night as OP has already been dating him for four months.

Snoopsnoggysnog · 12/09/2021 22:10

@ColorMagicBarbie

I bet people would be sympathetic if a woman posted on here saying she’d somehow lost control of her bowels whilst in bed with her new boyfriend and was mortified. Defo wouldn’t be telling he to hang her head in shame and prepare to be dumped. Double standards pure and simple.
The BF was not mortified. He was arsey and didn’t apologise until hours later. He showed himself to not give a shit and a total lack of manners at the time of the incident I give up.
CottageOnTheHill · 12/09/2021 22:10

@ColorMagicBarbie

I bet people would be sympathetic if a woman posted on here saying she’d somehow lost control of her bowels whilst in bed with her new boyfriend and was mortified. Defo wouldn’t be telling he to hang her head in shame and prepare to be dumped. Double standards pure and simple.
More fool you if you have such low standards that you’d tolerate a pissed adult urinating in your bedroom.
Snoopsnoggysnog · 12/09/2021 22:11

@ColorMagicBarbie

Because if you got period blood on a sofa it wouldn’t be because you were drunk.

So he was wrong to drink even though the OP was? It’s clearly not something he does every night as OP has already been dating him for four months.

I don’t know if you’re deliberately choosing to misunderstand but I give up. It’s not the same scenario at all, as others have said. Good night.
CottageOnTheHill · 12/09/2021 22:11

@ColorMagicBarbie

Because if you got period blood on a sofa it wouldn’t be because you were drunk.

So he was wrong to drink even though the OP was? It’s clearly not something he does every night as OP has already been dating him for four months.

He was wrong to urinate in her bedroom. There is no excuse for his behaviour.
Marmelace · 12/09/2021 22:11

My neighbour and good friends ex used to do this all the time when drunk, you could smell it from the front door. She had to replace the floor boards when she kicked him out. Poor woman was mortified. He must know it happens, so why risk getting drunk.

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