Page 24 | WIBU to end it over this?

ilovehalloumi · 2021-09-11T05:36:49+00:00

Been seeing a lovely bloke for 3/4 months, all going well. Treats me great, loads in common, fantastic sex. Took me out for dinner tonight, ended up in a few cocktail bars, both got fairly drunk. Got back to mine, went to bed, I woke up a couple of hours later to him PISSING IN THE CORNER OF MY ROOM!! He's stayed over a few times, definitely knows where the bathroom is. I'm properly grossed out, obviously when he wakes he will be cleaning it up. I've hardly slept because I feel properly furious. WIBU to tell him to leave and not come back? I've texted my bestie but since it's 6.30am I imagine she won't reply for a while.....so I'm asking you Mumsnet

ColorMagicBarbie · 12/09/2021 22:13

I once woke up to find a puddle of vomit in the middle of the room whilst staying at a friend’s house. I didn’t have any recollection and had stayed there many times previously and got tipsy. Her parents were due back that morning so it was a headache yet we’re still friends years later. Perhaps she should have ghosted me.

Ariadneslostthread · 12/09/2021 22:14

I have an ex who did this. I also had a situation where my friends boyfriend, pissed as a newt, got into bed with me, thinking I was her. In both cases, I waited till morning and had a word with them. Both so embarrassed they wanted to die, but outside of that neither ever did it again ! If he’s great don’t dump him over this - talk it out. Yes, pissing in the corner when wrecked, is revolting, but it doesn’t have to be a deal breaker !

Whataboutme21 · 12/09/2021 22:15

I think you’ve overreacted, it was an accident while he was half asleep. If my partner woke me up and was angry at me for that I’d probably get defensive and not say sorry immediately

WagnersFourthSymphony · 12/09/2021 22:21

It's weird how many trolls there are on here.

WTAF

DrManhattan · 12/09/2021 22:27

@beastlyslumber
Love you comment

DrManhattan · 12/09/2021 22:27

Your comment even lol

kimmsutt · 12/09/2021 22:29

I know of three people who’ve done this. 2 (girl) friends - completely separate incidents and my partner, 10 years ago (and 5 years in to our relationship… and ‘thankfully’ in a hotel). All were very drunk and literally thought they were in their own houses, peeing in the toilet, in their bathroom. I would make him clean up but not end it over it. You can’t really get drunk and never expect something to go wrong. Worth asking if he sleepwalks as it needs to be treated with caution.

boon · 12/09/2021 22:30

My friends husband did this once.

Avocadosrule · 12/09/2021 22:34

I think it might be a little unfair without a conversation about it - maybe there is scope for him to manage it going forward. I have known of quite a few men who do this (weeing in corners, drawers, shoes etc) when they have been drinking. It's not exactly something they can necessarily help I don't think; if he ticks so many boxes maybe it's worth him speaking with his gp for advice. It's defo not an unknown thing! Just imagine it- the shame- for him! Must be awful,

JasonMomoasgirlfriend · 12/09/2021 22:35

I think I'd have maybe forgiven him once but the fact he reacted in the way he did...nah bin him off.

I have known my friends bfs to do this, in fact one friend had to take clean bedding around with her every time she went to stay because the guy just slept on a piss stained mattress. I have no idea why she did it and stayed with him but she did and got married and they have two kids.

I have actually peed my bed before after a night of drinking. I had just broken up with a long term bf, loved back to my hometown and it was my first few nights in a new flat and I went out, got pissed, took a guy home and woke up in a pool of wee. I initially thought he had done it then realised his side was dry. He didn't even comment on it he just got up, took a phone call from a mate and left... Omg so embarrassing but I think I owed because I was in a stressy part of my life.
It's very embarrassing.

My fil also peed my parents bed when we had gone on holiday to use my parents holiday home. We had been drinking all day and he didn't go for a pee before bed. 🤦 He was pretty embarrassed to tell me what he had done.

So I do think it can be common but the guy didn't even apologise until now? No. Fuck that.

LastToBePicked · 12/09/2021 22:37

Wow at some of the responses here. My DS does this regularly - he’s 7 so it’s got nothing to do with drinking! He just sleepwalks his way to where he thinks (in his confused half-asleep state) the toilet is. DH sleep walks occasionally, and has done strange things like rearrange the furniture in the middle of the night.

I’ve also heard of men doing this when they roll home paralytically drunk (as well as such things as vomiting on the floor, defecating in the bed etc). That’s a slightly different matter.

In this case OP was drinking with the boyfriend and was drinking a similar amount (it’s not like he has stumbled in after 12 pints with his mates), so it’s not as though he was drinking to an excess she disapproves of.

I think the unreasonable behaviour is the OP doing nothing to clean it up, seething over it for hours and then waking him up in an immediate rage.

msgreen · 12/09/2021 22:37

A really great guy we know did this once ,he opened the wardrobe and pissed all over the clothes!
My friend married him they have been really happy together for years
he is super clean tidy etc
if he's sleep walking your boyfriend maybe stressed or this is a common
thing with him

MrsFirth2006 · 12/09/2021 22:42

My husband has done this for years! In wardrobes, up the bedroom door, in the corner of the bedroom but mostly just in the bed! He has done it on lads trips away aswell. Hismates chucked him out of the hotel room!

toffeeghirl · 12/09/2021 22:44

My xh did this every time he drank. My sofas and mattress were destroyed. He's even fell asleep at parties and wet himself in front of everyone. Never used to apologise. As soon as I got rid of him I replaced the stinking furniture. Friend's ex used to pee in the wardrobe and from the top of the stairs.
Thankfully, neither of us have met any pisstakers since.

millerpie · 12/09/2021 22:46

We had this with a housemate many years ago. He genuinely didn’t know he was doing and he did it anywhere and everywhere after a few to many.

Oceanwaves2018 · 12/09/2021 22:51

My husband did this once before when very drunk, only it was in the wardrobe!!!! - mortified in the morning, but, could not remember a thing about it it’s something we look back on and have a laugh about now.
Only on Mumsnet do they all jump in with “dump him” & “Chuck him out”
YABU - it was an error when drunk. In the nicest possible way, GET A GRIP OP

UserEmptor · 12/09/2021 22:55

@MrsFirth2006

My husband has done this for years! In wardrobes, up the bedroom door, in the corner of the bedroom but mostly just in the bed! He has done it on lads trips away aswell. Hismates chucked him out of the hotel room!

This is completely disgusting, unless you have a fetish for men who mark out their bedroom territory by pissing on it.

@CottageOnTheHill, I am with you in this.

SingingInTheShithouse · 12/09/2021 23:04

My brother has done this, both at my old house & at our parents place. He actually opened a drawer & pissed in it at my place. Like you I was horrified, though I woke him there & then, but realised he was in such a state of shock, he was useless & I cleaned it myself straight away to stop it soaking in.

It's a sleepwalking thing, brought on by a combination of nerves & drink. It's not nice, I don't blame you being grossed out, I certainly was too, but it's very likely wasn't done on purpose, he's unaware of it & will absolutely be mortified. My Brother has had this happen a handful of times in his life.

If everything thing else is good, then kicking him out if it's something like my brother would be too much. At least get to the bottom of why it happens & how often & take it from there

Blackcat333 · 12/09/2021 23:06

I had a cat that pissed in a corner for 16 years, he died at 17. I suppose you have to decide if what he has to offer you is worth it. He was probably dreaming that he was in the toilet. Some blokes piss in wardrobes when drunk. My friend once woke up to his brother pissing on his head when they shared a flat.
I doubt anyone would do this in purpose. I'm more interested in the cocktails you had TBH. 😂

RichardMarxisinnocent · 12/09/2021 23:09

@MrsFirth2006

My husband has done this for years! In wardrobes, up the bedroom door, in the corner of the bedroom but mostly just in the bed! He has done it on lads trips away aswell. Hismates chucked him out of the hotel room!

What happens to the stuff he pisses all over? Does he clean or wash them? If items get ruined does he pay to replace them? Does he change and wash the bedding when he pisses in the bed?

SingingInTheShithouse · 12/09/2021 23:09

Oh & I have an ex who once sleepwalked & nearly shat in my kitchen bin. He even went into the bathroom on the right, & then went to the left & sat o the bin with toilet roll in hand & singing his head off. A gary glitter number at that Thankfully his singing woke me & I git him back to the loo. He was stressed about a big work meeting & had, had one too many.

UserEmptor · 12/09/2021 23:14

@MrsFirth2006

My husband has done this for years! In wardrobes, up the bedroom door, in the corner of the bedroom but mostly just in the bed! He has done it on lads trips away aswell. Hismates chucked him out of the hotel room!

Thinking further, I'd say there are specialist websites for people who are into that kind of thing.

MrsDux · 12/09/2021 23:14

My brother used to do this as a child, i remember waking up to him opening my wardrobe and starting to pee. My mum also found him peeing in our under stairs shoe cupboard! He was about 9/10 at the time and both times thought he was in the bathroom. Apparently he still does it very occasionally now, when he's really drunk, much to my SILs annoyance

Frazzledmummy123 · 12/09/2021 23:52

OP, had you text him first before he sent that message saying he is sorry, or did he do it totally off his own back?

It would be better if off his own back however either way, while I think his reaction to it wasn't good, I would probably give him the benefit of the doubt on this occasion and give him another chance. However, if it happens again and he displays the same blase behaviour towards you then I'd think twice about being with him.

Beepyboop · 13/09/2021 00:03

My brother did this on holiday with male friends before a wedding. They all had connected rooms and he ended up sitting down for a wee on top of one of the guy’s luggage. He was forgiven . Some men just do this, it’s like bedwetting for children - sleepwalkpissing for men! I’m glad nobody I’ve dated with has ever done this, although it wouldn’t be a dealbreaker for me.