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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To abandon my cousin

377 replies

Boredhimtodeath · 10/09/2021 09:06

My cousin started working at my place of work 3 weeks ago. It’s an hours drive down a mixture of country lanes and then motorway. When she started she told me she was nervous of the drive and can’t afford petrol everyday so could we go together…. Something I would have personally considered before going for a job.

We can start and leave at various times as long as we do our hours during the day. I like to get to work at 8 and leave at 3, she prefers to do 10 until 5. I’ve said to her throughout that I like having my time on an evening so if we are going together I want us to be here for 8. The first week she was getting to mine for 7:50 so we were getting to work at 9, I was annoyed but let it go. It has gradually slipped to us getting to work for 10. Yesterday she wasn’t at mine by 8 so I messaged saying she needed to get herself to work because I was setting off. My uncle dropped her off and text me saying he couldn’t get there to pick her up so could I bring her home, meaning an hour after I finished I had to wait for her, I did an extra hour of work. The same has happened again today however my boss has said I can leave an hour early today because of staying last night but as a one off. So I will finish 2 hours before her tonight now. My uncle has again messaged.

Is it acceptable that I just leave? I’ve been here for years and I am happy with my routine, if she spoke to me before starting I would have told her from the offset my start and finish times. It’s hard because I have no reason to be home, other than just wanting to be. I will say from next week that she is going to have to make her own way there and back or find a more suitable job.

I come from a family that has the mindset that we should do anything for each other so there will be a backlash.

OP posts:
billy1966 · 14/09/2021 09:49

You did it for yourself, that's fair enough.👍

DreamTheMoors · 17/09/2021 01:04

[quote WheresYourSnickers]@DreamTheMoors Your story is incredible, I'm glad you got back safely! You sound like a lovely, emotionally intelligent, forgiving person Flowers

When I look back in some of the things I did as a teenager/ young adult (hitchhiking, sleeping in strangers houses, getting so drunk you don't know your own name....) I often think Jesus, I was lucky to escape unscathed!
When you're young, you don't think of the bad things that could happen - were we naive? are we just more aware now of the dangers? Or is the world more dangerous?[/quote]
@WheresYourSnickers

Thank you. ❤️
And ah yes - the foolishness of our youth. In the case of my Mexico fiasco, I was 25, my cousin 26. So no youthful excuses for her.
I was just extremely lucky to make it back safely.
Thanks for your kind words.

@billy1966

I did it for us both. Because that’s how love works.

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