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Original poster

Was I wrong or my friend ungrateful?

169 replies

DizzyLollipop82 · 10/09/2021 06:48

Hi mums I feel hurt by this so just let me explain...

I offered to baby sit for my friends 6 month old so her and her fiancé could have a date night. This baby is an amazing sleeper and it was just for me to sit in the house while he was fast asleep from 7.30 anyways I was a bit bored reading my book, watched some TV and thought I'd clean up their kitchen as there was some from the day, wasn't much, just a few plates, mugs cutlery. So I washed it all up and dried it and put away took no more than 10 minutes. They came back and I said he has been asleep fine and I was a bit bored so cleaned up for you too! She was a bit taken back and said I shouldn't have done it and she felt like I was assuming her house was dirty and I was taken over ? I was like huh? I'm sorry I was trying to do a nice thing as when you got back to a happy sleeping baby and a clean kitchen! Sorry! Wont be doing it again lol... I didn't want any money but a thank you would've been fine but I felt really embarrassed and just left...

OP posts:
cansu · 10/09/2021 06:54

She sounds like a PITA. I would have laughed, thanked you and told you to come again anytime. Ignore her and don't bother putting yourself out again.

Hopdathelf · 10/09/2021 06:55

You overstepped. You were basically saying to her that her house ought to have been cleaner, even if you didn’t mean to. Surely you’ve seen the countless threads on her about exactly the same thing.

Original poster
DizzyLollipop82 · 10/09/2021 06:56

Ha ha thank you :)

OP posts:
notacooldad · 10/09/2021 06:56

I understand your friend's feelings tbh.

Original poster
DizzyLollipop82 · 10/09/2021 06:57

That's fine I can appreciate if someone doesn't like that but to me that's a nice thing but maybe not to everyone :/

OP posts:
Marmite27 · 10/09/2021 06:58

I looked after my friends child while her husband went to pick her up from a day op.

Baby was asleep and her DH had been working and child wrangling while trying to split himself in 3.

I loaded their dishwasher and tidied toys away so it was tidy when they got home. TBF he didn’t actually realise, but my friend was grateful, not weird about it. But then we all try and tidy up after play dates in my circle.

meMaMoMOmo · 10/09/2021 06:58

If someone had said to me I've cleaned up for you that would also make me feel like they thought my house was dirty,

Too late now but you should of just said- I washed the pots as that's what you did. Cleaned up for you insinuates you did more and I'd not like that either

They came back and I said he has been asleep fine and I was a bit bored so cleaned up for you too! She was a bit taken back and said I shouldn't have done it and she felt like I was assuming her house was dirty and I was taken over ? I was like huh? I'm sorry I was trying to do a nice thing as when you got back to a happy sleeping baby and a clean kitchen! Sorry! Wont be doing it again lol... I didn't want any money but a thank you would've been fine but I felt really embarrassed and just left...

Dont think your friends out of order and can see you tried to do a nice thing, but j would of definetly worded it better than cleaned up for you as it gives visions of you mopping dusting hoovering ect

rattlemehearties · 10/09/2021 06:59

Eek I expect you worded it slightly wrong or she misinterpreted. I wouldn't want to be told you were bored and went looking for jobs to do. A quick breezy "oh I did the washing up to save you doing it now after your dinner" would have been the best way to tell it.

CoalCraft · 10/09/2021 06:59

I think you did a really nice thing. If you had scoured the house from top to bottom then your friend might have had a point, but just doing the dishes? Sweet if you and your friend is being precious.

CurzonDax · 10/09/2021 07:00

I think she's a bit embarrassed, and she might be thinking that you thought her place was dirty.

Still, you did a nice thing, and I promise I won't be embarrassed or annoyed if you came and cleared up my kitchen too! Haha!

Original poster
DizzyLollipop82 · 10/09/2021 07:00

Thanks I can see how that could have come across! My wording was a bit off!

OP posts:
lap90 · 10/09/2021 07:02

I wouldn't have mentioned the cleaning up.

THisbackwithavengeance · 10/09/2021 07:04

You can come round and babysit for me anytime OP, I dont take offence easily.

YANBU.

You did a nice thing; sadly it backfired, so you won't be offering again of course.

driftcompatible · 10/09/2021 07:04

People are too sensitive. If she came home and you were scrubbing the floors and the whole house had been deep cleaned I would understand. You hardly stood there dripping with sweat from your exertions saying 'I cleaned - I just couldn't sit in this filth'.

You did a nice thing. My friend often cleans up my kitchen when I'm with the children. I'm always grateful. She has nothing to do. I'm busy at that time. It's a nice and kind act.

Don't help her out again. Totally distance. Hopefully her DP will speak to her about her lack of manners. Bare in mind she might be exhausted and hormonal and overly sensitive. But if she doesn't apologise for her rudeness I would just get rid tbh.

Frankly, I always have a tidy house when leaving my children with childcare. If she's so sensitive she shouldn't have left a mess.

20viona · 10/09/2021 07:06

I think you did a nice thing.

missbecks90 · 10/09/2021 07:07

I'd be extremely grateful, in fact if you need a new friend feel free to pop round! 😂 - in seriousness maybe you just caught her off guard at least you know for next time not to worry about doing anything other than what you've been asked to do. I'd be appreciative though & completely see where your coming from OP.

mmgirish · 10/09/2021 07:09

I think it was the fact that you mentioned it first probably put her on the back foot and made her defensive.

LegendaryReady · 10/09/2021 07:09

I think doing it was fine and a nice thing. Telling her you'd done it, i.e. pointing out she'd left dishes in the sink and asking her to be grateful was a bit weird.

Latenightreader · 10/09/2021 07:11

It might have been more tactful to say nothing, or to mention that you were washing your mug so did the few bits there too. However not intrinsically wrong.

ThinWomansBrain · 10/09/2021 07:12

I think it would have been better to have washed up if you wanter to, but not even mentioned it or drawn attention to it.

NotAnotherBloodyNameChange · 10/09/2021 07:12

@LegendaryReady

I think doing it was fine and a nice thing. Telling her you'd done it, i.e. pointing out she'd left dishes in the sink and asking her to be grateful was a bit weird.
^yep. ‘Cleaned up’ is really bad wording. I wouldn’t mind someone doing my dishes but making out the place needed cleaning is really off. On the plus side -she won’t ask you again!
ThinWomansBrain · 10/09/2021 07:13

Oh, and not baby sitting required - cat sittting opportunity?

Dozer · 10/09/2021 07:13

Your wording was unhelpful!

Mermaidpool · 10/09/2021 07:15

I think you did a nice thing but worded it badly, I wouldn't have mentioned it

Original poster
DizzyLollipop82 · 10/09/2021 07:16

Yes I can see how that would come across now, oops .. :-( eek

OP posts:
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