AIBU She/Her

[beewritesx]

My sister is a big advocate of trans rights and says that pronouns in bio is a way of showing inclusion and support of the trans community.

I was quite surprised to receive a professional email from my ex boss with She/Her listed next to her email address (as I know this person and their gender).

I believe people should have the right to identify as they choose. If somebody asked me to call them X, I will as it's respectful. I also believe that if somebody is aged over 18 and decides to transition or change their gender identity they should do so with no persecution whatsoever.

However, pronouns in bio is just something I don't understand and cannot get on board with. If I'm ever in a professional position it's not something I would want to consider. I can't explain why. I just don't.

AIBU or too "traditional" (like my younger sister would probably argue) or does anyone feel the same? I can't give a rational explanation as to why I wouldn't, I just don't want to.

Actually it can force trans people to out themselves before they are ready. Ajd in the work place it increases the issues regarding sexism.

Really the only People it benefits are thosee who want to make a big show of being "inclusive"

I think YAB a bit U as pronouns in email signatures seems to be gaining popularity. I find it quite useful, especially when emailing someone with a unisex name or someone who prefers they/them pronouns for example.

What I don't like is when companies force you to state your pronouns in your email signature, particularly as women are at higher risk of sex-based discrimination.

I believe people should have the right to identify as they choose. If somebody asked me to call them X, I will as it's respectful.

The pronouns in the bio are both a way of letting people know what they prefer to be called, and also a show of solidarity from people who aren't trans, to make it feel more normal IMO. Otherwise putting your pronouns only if you were trans would be a massive "Hey, I'm trans!" signal which some may not always want to announce.

No, I don’t think it’s a good idea to include pronouns on any professional documents like a CV or bio because it just encourages discrimination. It’s the same reason why you don’t put race, age, sexuality etc on these documents.

Don't put your pronouns on your emails then

Your sister explained why she does it.

But you've given the usual lot on here yet another chance to slate trans people so well done

Presumably you also know your boss's surname, phone number and postal address but I doubt you would come on here complaining that she'd sent you an email with a standard automatic signature including that information.

It's information. Since you don't need the information you can ignore it. If she sends an email to someone who doesn't know her in person they now know what pronouns she prefers. And as your sister has explained to you, if she sends that email to someone who is trans and wondering who in the office might be supportive of them if they were to find out, now they know that too.

Why do you have a problem with her giving simple information?

If they ever introduce this at work, then I won't be playing.

I think YAB a bit U as pronouns in email signatures seems to be gaining popularity. I find it quite useful, especially when emailing someone with a unisex name or someone who prefers they/them pronouns for example.

Why on Earth do you need to know? Surely you relate to them as a fellow professional and can discuss the work in hand without knowing either their genitals or their chosen gender.

If I’m emailing an Alex or a Chris is makes no difference to me at all whether they’re a man or a woman. Why would I care?

But sending an email means you aren't there

Sending an email dictating how someone you aren't even talking to , can speak about you is actually rather controlling.

I mean I have no idea how anyone in any other branch of my shop or in HR talks about me. And when I'm.at work I'm.suloosed to be working not controlling conversations and using my time to compel speech.

If your workplace asks you to announce your pronouns, they are actively contravening Yogyakarta Principle 6f, which states the illegality of compelling someone to share their gender identity.

YANBU
I wouldn't expect anyone to highlight any other belief system in a work email so why the belief in gender. A person's religious identity may be incredibly important to them but I wouldn't expect religious affiliation on an email

Well it's nonsense really isn't it? Thought up by odd balls or petulant teenagers who think they're being oh so progressive.

Another annoying American import I suspect. My respect for people diminishes instantly when I see it.

Nobody is slating trans people from what I can see.

I'm genuinely questioning my own reasons. Nothing wrong with healthy debate. I would never discriminate against anyone based on their gender male identity. I just want to understand a bit more.

Gender identity* autocorrect

@Breakfastofmilk

Presumably you also know your boss's surname, phone number and postal address but I doubt you would come on here complaining that she'd sent you an email with a standard automatic signature including that information.

It's information. Since you don't need the information you can ignore it. If she sends an email to someone who doesn't know her in person they now know what pronouns she prefers. And as your sister has explained to you, if she sends that email to someone who is trans and wondering who in the office might be supportive of them if they were to find out, now they know that too.

Why do you have a problem with her giving simple information?

But that information is useful. It's a bit of a bugbear of mine when people don't put their phone numbers on their email signatures, in case I want to give them a follow up call! Pronouns are not useful. When I email someone I refer to them by name/you, I don't need to know how they want a third party to refer to them.

It's knee-jerk wokism, IMHO. It's starting to creep into my workplace and it's sold as a "quick and easy way to show your support!" so people update their signatures, congratulate themselves on being soooo woke and kind and go on with their day. How does that help anyone who might be struggling with their gender identity?!

If someone wants to share pronouns, i'm happy to use them.

but for women working in male-dominated fields, it can just draw attention to 'I'm a woman' and thus attract sexism.

Plus it forces people to declare pronouns that they might not want to share.

so I guess it is ok if it is truly optional, but not if compulsory (or strongly encouraged)

Maybe you can bear this slight discomfort you can’t even pin point if it means that’s people going about their day at work don’t have to keep having the awkwardness of being mis gendered?

I think it’s helpful. Not everyone chooses to or can externally demonstrated their gender with the traditional social markers.

Including pronouns in your email script means people can check if they aren’t sure rather than having to ask. Preventing identifiable discomfort for both parties

The way I see it, it costs me nothing to put my pronouns in an email, and it helps a vulnerable group in society to be accepted.

I'm old enough to remember a time where it was viewed sympathetically when men "just didn't feel comfortable" with pushing a pram or changing a nappy. I don't think mild discomfort at the status quo changing is really a good enough reason not to oppose equality.

*not to oppose inequality

But since it bothers you in an undefinable way everyone else should just stop doing something that other people find helpful abs supportive

Beings as the world revolves around exclusively your whims

How can you misgender someone in an email?

Really? I quite often have to forward on queries that have come to me but I need information from someone else to answer. If the email had come from say Jane then I'm just going to assume and refer to she/her as needed. If the email came from Sam or Siva* I'm going to have to clunkily use he/she or they. It's not a massive problem, clearly I can do that but if I know what they use its simpler.

*I know a male Siva and a female Siva

But whys it a " discomfort"

I have a unisex name. Even the police sent me a letter addressed to Mr. Its a total non event.

No one sends an email to Ms scully mother of 2 horror movie adict hates milk. Communication is to get a message across not validate everything about me.

I work.in retail, I get sworn out, threatened, called names, given phone numbers etc . I wouldn't last 5 minutes if being mistaken for a bloke on the phone or an email set me off.

Most people in my firm have it in their email signatures, but I don't.

If I were ever challenged I would say that "she is the cat's mother", my name is "Louise", people generally call me Louise or you, not she or her.

Also I suspect those with names such as Chris or Sam get more attention because people think they may be male. If I had a foreign name that wasn't obviously male or female I might use it, but it is really up to people.

And how people refer to me behind my back is really the least of my problems.

Also - don't transpeople change their names when they change their gender?

It is one area where I really think it is quite reasonable to dismiss it as woke nonsense and it doesn't make you a bigoted idiot.