AIBU She/Her

[beewritesx]

My sister is a big advocate of trans rights and says that pronouns in bio is a way of showing inclusion and support of the trans community.

I was quite surprised to receive a professional email from my ex boss with She/Her listed next to her email address (as I know this person and their gender).

I believe people should have the right to identify as they choose. If somebody asked me to call them X, I will as it's respectful. I also believe that if somebody is aged over 18 and decides to transition or change their gender identity they should do so with no persecution whatsoever.

However, pronouns in bio is just something I don't understand and cannot get on board with. If I'm ever in a professional position it's not something I would want to consider. I can't explain why. I just don't.

AIBU or too "traditional" (like my younger sister would probably argue) or does anyone feel the same? I can't give a rational explanation as to why I wouldn't, I just don't want to.

Wokeism at its finest. This is becoming a 'thing' where I work too. In a Teams meeting earlier this week, one person even introduced herself as 'Sue' 'pronouns she/her'

It makes me cringe.

don't transpeople change their names when they change their gender

eg Bruce became Caitlyn

I don't do this but it wouldn't bother me if I saw it, if someone wants to do it, it's not offensive. I can't say reading people's email signatures is a big part of my day, it's usually their company motto or "think before printing this email" so I don't even glance at it usually.

I find it performative, virtue signalling. People do it to show that they are "progressive" and inclusive.

Whereas I personally find it discriminating (for women), controlling and frankly unnecessary.

Gender identity is a personal issue, I don't need your attitude about it or your identity broadcast. No one does.

I don’t understand. What does a pronoun in signature mean?

This is what I sent to our diversity manager when asked to declare my pronouns.

1.I have experienced a great degree of sexism at work. Bringing attention to my sex increases the likelihood of my being treated differently as a woman as this experiment demonstrates: www.independent.co.uk/news/business/news/gender-inequality-man-woman-switch-names-week-martin-schneider-nicky-knacks-pay-gap-a7622201.html

2.Singling out a woman’s female status can result in ‘stereotype threat’. hbr.org/2016/08/why-women-feel-more-stress-at-work

3.I hold ‘gender critical’ beliefs, which are protected under the Equality Act and recently confirmed in www.gov.uk/employment-appeal-tribunal-decisions/maya-forstater-v-cgd-europe-and-others-ukeat-slash-0105-slash-20-slash-joj

I don't, but here's why some people do:

medium.com/gender-inclusivit/why-i-put-pronouns-on-my-email-signature-and-linkedin-profile-and-you-should-too-d3dc942c8743#:~:text=The%20important%20thing%20is%20showing%20pronouns%20however%20possible.&text=Try%20adding%20your%20pronouns%20to,normalizes%20this%20process%20for%20everyone.

@Aprilx

I don’t understand. What does a pronoun in signature mean?

Something like:

Email blah blah blah....

Kind regards,

Jane Smith
Pronouns: She/her
Director of Nothing
Company SpendMore

Agreed, this new trend is going my head in!!

So many people I deal with professionally are now adding the pronouns to their signatures when they are clearly and quite obviously male/female both from their name and their picture. There is no doubt.

From what I understand it's not to clarify their own gender identity (which was never in question) but to show solidarity with trans etc. However I would have thought it does the opposite - it actually comes across as cheap cultural appropriation.

If I was a young person still coming to grips with my gender identity and working as a junior colleague in a company where everyone is adding pronouns, what do I do if I'm not ready yet to 'identify'?

Adding pronouns should be a personal choice, not a fad.

I’m not sure “it costs me nothing” holds water as an argument when the gender pay gap is 18.2% and rising.

Working as a freelancer in a male dominated industry I am regularly offered bottom of market rates by companies that I know have offered more to less qualified male colleagues.

Adding pronouns should be a personal choice, not a fad

I think tbh it blurs the boundaries. I dobt get this " bring your whole self to work thing" work is work. You are there to work. You have friends and family and free time for the rest. Private lives should not get in the way of work. Work colleagues don't exist to validate identities or pick our your wedding invitations or listen to your domestic problems etc

I’m not a massive fan.

I don’t generally identify with the gender stereotypes associated with my gender - I don’t think my gender is relevant to my personality or my ability to do my job so why would I announce it.

I think if pushed I’d go for they/them purely because I think it’s irrelevant although it seems like I’d then be presenting as trans which I’m not.

It feels like the old days where you added Mrs or Miss to your email signature so people could make judgements about you from that.

I don’t want to be judged at work on something totally out of my control and irrelevant to my ability to do the job.

Wrongsideofhistorymyarse

I have taken a screenshot to use if the wave of controlling bullshittery rolls into my organisation. Thank you.

How does that help anyone who might be struggling with their gender identity?!

I've never understood this either @IToldYouIWasFreaky

The way i see it, if people want to put pronouns, that's fine. There is a logistical issue in that if you have a job like I had, you are going to know and communicate with hundreds of people. If I am replying to them, even you a group email, I will use names (or "you" or "you all") so no need for pronouns. If I am speaking (or writing) of them to others, I am not going to hold all that hundred or so profile choices in my head and am certainly not going to go and check..imagine it....breaking off conversation to rush into emails and flip through till you find the right one....... so I would probably use "they/them"
I do get the principle of "my name, my identity, my choice" but in practical terms its a nightmare.
I would absolutely NOT support any pressure to make it compulsory

I wouldn't want it in my bio either. I think it looks unprofessional. I don't use third person pronouns for myself. That would make me feel like Ceasar, so no thanks.

As for how other talk about me, it's impossble for me to legislate that. People will use third person pronouns when I am not there. It seems ludicrous to me to tell other how they should talk about me. My professional reputation should determine that.

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

Don't put your pronouns on your emails then

Your sister explained why she does it.

But you've given the usual lot on here yet another chance to slate trans people so well done

People ARE being forced to! No-one has slated transpeople.

@Whatwouldscullydo

Adding pronouns should be a personal choice, not a fad

I think tbh it blurs the boundaries. I dobt get this " bring your whole self to work thing" work is work. You are there to work. You have friends and family and free time for the rest. Private lives should not get in the way of work. Work colleagues don't exist to validate identities or pick our your wedding invitations or listen to your domestic problems etc

this absolutely.

I am seeing it used more where I work because it is very international and you can't always tell from a name. Eg Andrea is a man's name in Italy,

I don’t feel the need to state my gender identity in emails because gender is a belief that we don’t all subscribe to (I am a woman - that is my biological sex - but I do not “identify” as anything). To me, it’s akin to HR advising all employees to write “religion: Christian” at the end of their emails. It’s all sexist, ideological bollocks that has no place in a genuinely progressive/inclusive workplace. This explains it quite well: legalfeminist.org.uk/2020/07/19/pronouns-compulsion-and-controversy/

I don't understand what relevance a person's pronouns have on a work email. If I'm emailing you, then I'm going to be addressing you personally, not using he / she anyway. How a person chooses to identify is a personal issue and should have no bearing on their work.

@Whatwouldscullydo

Actually it can force trans people to out themselves before they are ready. Ajd in the work place it increases the issues regarding sexism.

Really the only People it benefits are thosee who want to make a big show of being "inclusive"

This is a very good point. I don't particularly want to emphasise that I'm a woman on my emails. There's no point. My sex is irrelevant to my work.

And if I thought I might be trans I might not want the pressure to out myself.

@TabithaTiger

Wokeism at its finest. This is becoming a 'thing' where I work too. In a Teams meeting earlier this week, one person even introduced herself as 'Sue' 'pronouns she/her'

It makes me cringe.

Well Johnny Cash did sing about A Boy Named Sue...

I don’t want or need to declare who I am.

I have a feminine first name that in the UK wouldn't be mistaken for a man's name. For the avoidance of doubt I have added Mrs.

When my institution requests pronouns to be used I shall put "I/me". It will come and I am pleased I am close to retirement age and I shall take a stand.