AIBU about people who say ‘they worked hard to get to where they are’?

[MessyMissyMe]

Generally these are highly paid people who were able to go to University (support from parents/inherited intellect/confidence and self belief built up by secure, happy childhood) or had the resources to start their own business and were lucky enough to get remunerated by employment that they enjoyed and were good at, didn’t have outside influences or stressors that made things harder/took up time they needed to study or build a career.

They basically are just LUCKY and don’t deserve their success anymore than a cleaner or a care worker living hand to mouth in social housing deserves their lack of.

AIBU to get annoyed at people who say this?

I completely agree.
Yes you’ve worked hard, but a huge amount of luck has put you where you are.

Are you saying people who go to university don’t work hard?

You sound extremely bitter.

Some people work hard and become highly paid. Some people work hard and are poorly paid. Some people have shit luck and lots of hurdles but still become successful. Some people have no hurdles and opportunities available but don’t become highly paid in their jobs 🤷‍♀️

No.

I worked really hard to get where I am against some pretty shitty odds.

I was also incredibly lucky. When people hear about my background I often get comments on how hard I have worked etc etc. It fucks me off no end.

As if my friends who ended up dead or addicts or in dead end jobs just didn't have the gumption to pull themselves up, no they just were not as fucking lucky as I am.

I know people who work way harder than me by every metric and have fuck all to show for it.

Don't you think people who go to uni work hard?

"Just" lucky - no, absolutely disagree.

Luck certainly helps, as well as personality, skills, determination and ability, but to say it's pure luck is very dismissive of the reality.

Well...sure, some people who say this are just lucky. Others are accurate and have actually worked very hard. I'm not sure why you're disparaging people who have "inherited confidence and self belief" as though that's somehow the same as being handed a career on a plate. There are lots of degrees of privilege. I agree with PP that you do sound very angry. I'm sorry if something has happened!

I went to University RyanReynolds. Didn’t find it particularly hard tbh!

Resilience and optimism play a huge part in making yourself get up again and again and refusing to give up

To me those two things are the secret. And usually a large drive (often not that obvious) to succeed. Only some people have this, maybe 20% or the population?

Where I am in life is a bit rubbish by many people's standards. But I still worked hard to get there.

@MessyMissyMe

I went to University RyanReynolds. Didn’t find it particularly hard tbh!

Did you do film studies?

Watch that chip.
I was the first person in my (coal mining) family to go to university. My mum was a single parent who dropped me off at my Nan's at 5 to go to work 20 miles away. I qualified for free meals and free NHS specs.
I worked my arse off at school (papershop job Mon-Fri after school and all day Saturday) Worked every summer during university.

I was lucky. Yep. To have a parent that encouraged me and told me I could do and be whatever I wanted.

The rest of it was me. All me. And graft.

Agree. People should really acknowledge their luck in life. It isn’t all hard work, something as basic as perfect health gives people an advantage.

All the jobs I have worked, the lowest paid is always the hardest.

Don't you think people who go to uni work hard?
She’s not saying that. But people who didn’t go to uni and work menial low-paid non-graduate jobs also work hard, but the phrase “I worked hard for my [huge salary/massive house/pension]” basically implies everyone else doesn’t work hard. Also I went to uni with plenty of people who didn’t work hard there, were thick as mince, still don’t work hard but are raking it in

Well it kind of insinuates that those who haven't done as well haven't worked as hard.

They need to say, 'I have been fortunate that my hard work was rewarded and has afforded me my present position.'

However people rarely allude to the role of luck in their life, unless it is the bad kind.

You don't know anything about anyone. It was a real eye opener when a friend of mine told me she often gets told she doesn't know how lucky she is to be able to afford the lifestyle she lives by people who have had a far better start in life than she had. What I didn't know, and neither do those who have said this to her, is that she had a terrible upbringing in a sink estate with a father who disappeared early on, and a neglectful mother. She left home at 16 and made it to where she has through sheer grit and determination. She worked hard, but you would assume she always lived the lifestyle she has now.

Dont make assumptions about people, and hide your jealousy, you never know the full story

It's a combination of luck and hard work.

However, I've seen threads like this before and there are some people who take great offence at the suggestion that luck has played any part in their success!!

Luck will only get you so far. I was lucky in that I'm intelligent, my parents put a lot of emphasis on the importance of education and they were willing to sacrifice a lot to ensure I was able to go to university.

However, I worked really hard in school, in uni and in my career. I would not have achieved what I did without hard work.

That doesn't mean that I think those who have not achieved in the same way are somehow lesser than me or that I think they don't work hard. However, I was not "just lucky". Yes, I did have some circumference that meant my hard work paid off but you are completely unreasonable to say that it was "just luck" that got me, and others like me, to where I am.

It’s generally a mixture, I would say. ‘Just’ luck won’t get you a high paid career mostly but every highly paid person I know has benefited from a combination of good education or being MC etc.

Equally many of them also have alcoholic parents, SEN, Ill health, though from the outside you might think their lives have had no challenges and they’ve also all worked extremely hard. That doesn’t mean cleaners, nurses, etc don’t also work hard too.

Very few people become a success by pure luck.
That’s wining the lottery.
But similarly most successful people will have had some luck which they kicked the shit out of with hard work and savvy.

YABU to generalise.
Not everyone who was successful had a secure or happy childhood. Some people who started businesses went without to save up the money. And you certainly can’t assume they enjoyed their work, many people slog at work they hate in order to provide the money and security they see as necessary for their family.
It’s unlikely they will have done it without some luck but there’s a lot to it than that.

We have worked hard to get where we are. We don't earn huge amounts and we both have to work to pay the mortgage but we do have more than others, have no debt, savings in the bank and I am very proud of what we have achieved. Neither of us are university educated and both came from working class families. There have never been any hand outs or inheritances. There is just drive and ambition. It does annoy me that people assume we must have had money gifted!

We have a beautiful house in the countryside that's undergoing renovation but we have funded this completely by ourselves and have worked every god given hour for the last 3 years carrying out all the work by ourselves. At no point has anyone ever given us a bean towards it.

I think it's unfair that you would assume anyone who is a success is either lucky or has had it handed to them on a plate.

@SkinnyMirror

It's a combination of luck and hard work.

However, I've seen threads like this before and there are some people who take great offence at the suggestion that luck has played any part in their success!!

Similarly, there are goady people like the OP who blame everyone else for their own perceived lack of success/money whatever and like to say they all had it handed to them on a plate.

People often tell me I’m lucky to have a really successful business.
Yes I am.
But it didn’t fall into my lap with a sprinkle of fairy dust.
I had to do a lot of things most people wouldn’t - I had to take risks, work stupid hours, travel a lot.

They may well have worked hard but they often fail to recognise their privilege too...I've found successful people usually have

Supportive families
Excellent physical and mental health

These are all luck of the draw.